Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Bad Wife
Okay I'm trying I really am but I still feel like this wife thing is eluding me. We moved in (and never fully unpacked or really settled in) a couple months before the wedding. Since the wedding I've been sick. It's a chronic thing and depletes my energy and I was in remission for the previous 4 years so he's never seen me sick before the wedding. Then work has been crazy so I've been doing 10 or 12 or 16 hour days and for awhile I was working weekends and everything.
So between the work stuff (which started the week after we got back and is finally settling down now), the being sick (which I am trying to deal with but it takes months to recover), going through a re-org at work which is reallllly stressful- and stress makes me more sick, and generally not having time. I'm just feeling like a bad wife.
H is understanding and wonderful and keeps telling me it's okay but I just feel like I'm sucking at this and had to vent to someone not married for over 10 years like all our friends. Just wish this was more of a newlywed time- instead we keep saying we have years to experience that stuff.
Please don't quote if possible.
Re: Bad Wife
You have an illness and he understands that, that is what you want. He said in vows for sickness and in health or better or worse. I am so sorry that you have the sickness and the worse so early.
As for not unpacking, DH and I moved in to our apartment almost 2 years ago and i still have boxes, lol.
Thanks, the unpacking is starting to drive me nuts. Good to know I'm still in the grace period. I am lucky I found such an amazing man.
I know this too shall pass but I just really pictured the first couple of months of marriage differently. On the bright side- we were both sick (a cold/cough) on the honeymoon so the "in sickness part" became a running joke. Now it's just a bit of reality for awhile.
This exactly. You aren't doing anything wrong at all, and from what you've said, your H is fully understanding and supportive.
I think we all picture the first few months, or year or so to be perfect, lovey dovey etc. but sometimes life happens and things don't go exactly like we picture.
Just take it one day at a time. Maybe try to unpack one box each day, but take it easy and don't be so hard on yourself.
Missing Our July Sparkler
BFP#1-11/12/12, MMC 1/16/13-baby stopped growing @ 9wks, found out at 13wks, D&E 1/25/13
BFP#2-4/23/13 EDD-01/02/14 baby BOY born 12/31/13 Michael Cameron
H & I moved into our apartment 2 years ago and he STILL has boxes to unpack! (He doesn't know this yet, but if they're not unpacked by the time we move, they're going to the dump!).
We also haven't put away most of our wedding presents yet. I'm using the heat as an excuse. Our kitchen gets up to 110 in the summer and who wants to go through dishware in that?!
You're not a bad wife. If it irks your H then he should unpack! You should concentrate on feeling better, your health is what's important.
We bought our house in December and theres still boxes...and a WHOLE room that hasnt been touched- (Except to go in to feed the hedgehog), boxes everywhere. I kept saying, oh this summer there will be time, but then summer came and I finally have some work, and we are so busy in the evenings and weekends, and a lot of it is H's stuff that I dont dare touch....so yeah...one day. Don't feel bad about that one!
Do what you need to do to take care of you. Your H will respect that you are doing the best you can, overextending yourself is not going to make the stress go away or your health better. So tackle it slowly, if at all....for the time being.
My Blog:Through My Eyes