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Re pets and kids: a question about comfort level
As you can see in my siggy, we have a lab (2 years old) and a little girl, 6 months. She is CRAZY about the dog, laughs at everything he does, and wants to touch (ok, grab/mouth) him SO BAD. For the most part, he doesn't hold still long enough to let this happen anyway, but if for some reason she does have an opportunity to touch him I always take her hand and just "pet" him on his side with her hand so she can feel the fur but not grab on.
He is much less enthusiastic about her, but very gentle - if she's on the floor, he's very aware of her and doesn't step on her or even on her blanket/playmat, just seems very conscious of her/not hurting her. He does seem to enjoy licking her hands, feet, ears, face, etc.
For the most part, I'm pretty comfortable letting them be in close proximity to each other, and allow some face licking (she cracks up), but as she's getting more mobile, and more apt to try to grab him (but, at 6 months old, too young to understand why she shouldn't), I feel more nervous - he has never shown hostility toward anyone, but i would hate for the 1st time to result in a bad bite.
However, my dog is very "soft" - if he gets the sense that something is off-limits, he becomes very timid around it - we have to tell him with great enthusiasm that it's ok to get on the couch with us because he knows he can't do it whenever he wants. I think that Scout and DD will be the best of friends when she gets older, and don't want him to feel scared or timid or like he's somehow in trouble around her.
So, my actual question: those of you with little bitty, newly mobile kiddos and dogs, how do you handle baby/dog interactions?
ETA: to be more specific, how do you deal with touching/petting/face-licking/close face-to-face action? Have Scout keep his distance till DD is x years old? I know to always supervise, and to watch for signs that he's anxious or stressed, etc., just having a hard time with what level of interaction I'm comfortable allowing...
Re: Re pets and kids: a question about comfort level
I think our kids are close in age, since we both post on 6-9 on TB.
My pittie sounds like your dog - very soft. If something scares him (his toys hitting the pots and pans, for example), he will avoid whatever made the noise (he is will not approach the kitchen island where the pots and pans are stored for anything!).
He voluntarily spends the day sleeping in the bedroom. He comes out when I feed the baby purees, or if we sound like we're having a particularly exciting time in the living room.
My Aussie Shepherd spends her time sleeping in the living room with us. She wants to be near us, but doesn't want the baby to approach her. If he rolls toward her, she growls, but then gets up and lays somewhere else (and if she doesn't get up, I move the baby).
I don't force the dogs to keep their distance. I feel that would create anxiety about the baby. I also don't force interaction. I reward them (Carl moreso than Reese since he was afraid of the baby at first) for sniffing and being gentle. I try not to let the baby be face-to-face with the dogs. If we practice petting, it's on their back/side/belly.
It's funny, when the baby is on his back, he's a nonstop kicker. And the dogs will come over and purposely lay at his feet, and get a back massage!
When my kids were babies, my dog was a senior, so the situation might have been somewhat different. After many years with him, I had a lot of confidence in how tolerant he was of children, but he was also becoming frail and my biggest concern was that one of my boys would hurt him accidentally and provoke a snap. Fortunately, this never happened. I always praised the dog when he showed polite interest in the kids...I wanted him to think they were a good thing.
The kids were a different matter, since I obviously had far less faith in them than in the dog. All I can say is, I drilled them in dog safety before they were even really old enough to understand. If one of them started crawling over to the dog when he was sleeping, I picked him up and sad "No, we don't bother Griffin while he's sleeping." If the dog was awake and seemed receptive to advances, I would let my kids pet him and repeat "gentle touches" a gazillion times (with demonstrations) and remove them immediately if there was fur-grabbing or ear-pulling or the like.
I really don't think there's any need to completely separate the two. Your child won't learn anything that way, and your dog won't get positive exposure to your child. If you're consistent and patient with your baby, she'll get it in time. My kids are far from perfect, but at 3 and 5 they are both excellent with dogs, because we started young and made it a priority. I would just keep the interactions brief and positive, keep monitoring your dog for any signs of stress, and obviously always supervise when the two are together. It's great that you're being so proactive about this!
Our lab was about 2 when our first was born as well! We never kept him apart from the baby (except for when I had to leave the room & she was really young)- he is a part of our family & keeping him away wasn't even on our radar. I was never weirded out by some doggy kisses- with us right there we'd let her pet & grab on his fur. Honestly, she can't really hurt him as long as you're there supervising (to keep away from the eyes/ears & such), so we let ours explore away. And of course being right there, we were praising him like crazy. We were just always on the floor with both of them, having a great time.
One thing we never let our kids do was crawl on top of our dog or sit on him. While our lab probably would have been fine with it, I didn't ever want them trying that on any other dog. Honestly, just keep supervising, teaching gently & praising both of them. That's all we ever did. Our DDs are now 5 & 7 and our lab is their best buddy. He's 10 now & they are so tender with him- they brush him with their princess brushes, lay pillows under his head & put blankets over him. I can't imagine our life - or our girls' lives - without him ever in it. It's awesome!
Honestly, I could have written your initial post! Our lab was about 2 years old when DD was born. Like your pup, Rudy is a total velcro dog and needs to be by people at all times.
Unlike so many new parents, we did NOT exclude Rudy from any situations. We wanted her to feel included and not resent our DD.
Rudy was always very sweet with DD and only sniffed and licked her. Then DD started to crawl and things got even more fun. She loves "running" from Rudy and laughing at her. They even have some tug-of-war games with Rudy's toys and noting makes DD laugh harder.
I've had several friends/family show concern over their interaction, but we're always inches away and monitor everything. And, we have never even sensed any nervousness from Rudy, it's almost like she can't wait for DD to be able to actually play.
Now that DD is mobile and stronger, she does grab Rudy and pulls her hair. We just grab DD's hand and show/tell her how to properly "pet" Rudy. At this point, I feel we focus more on teaching DD how to properly interact with a dog than teaching Rudy how to be gentle with a baby.
Has Rudy "tipped" our DD over....yes. Has she licked her right in the mouth...yes. Has she stepped on her hand...yes. But DD has NEVER screamed or cried. It's like they are truly sisters and the best of friends.
I always gauge comfort level. My pit bull is madly in love with DS. She thinks she gave birth to him, usually. But she is a fear dog and gets spooked, especially now that DS is really into throwing and kicking balls and balloons. I give her a safe zone- her crate is a good one, but she can also get up on our living room chair, which is very deep seated and DS cannot reach her well when she's up there.
DS can pet our dog with my help. He does chase her around sometimes, though she doesn't mind, unless he's grabbing her tail, I do not allow it. I don't want him to think because she's okay with being chased, he can do it with any dog.
Short and sweet interactions are best, IMO, for our household.
Any roughness gets a stern, "We use gentle hands, show me gentle hands." and if he doesn't, then he is told he has to play with something else now. The dog is rewarded for her sweetness.
Redirection works well too. DS is at the age where he LOOOOOOVES to give P treats and she is more than happy to oblige. It helps get the positive interaction back after a tail tug or eye poke.
I don't mind kisses, and the dog backs off when DS puts his hands over his face. And sometimes the dog knocks him down, it's no big deal. I don't think he's ever cried after being knocked down by her. He just says "whoop" and stands back up.
Don't let your guard down though- both have their limits and it's up to mom to monitor those because they don't speak the same language, so you have to interpret and intervene when necessary.
GL!!