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Not sure where to post this...need help with crazy friend...long
Hey ladies,
I have a friend who is driving me up the wall, and I'm wondering whether or not to break off the friendship. Long history shorter, it's all about her.
She's blown me off when she's promised to help with two moves (four years apart). I have helped her move in between the two, and recruited extra people to make it easier on her. I also planted all her gardens when she was selling her house.
The last move of mine, I called her two days before the move, and the day before, and the day of. She ignored each call. Then she called me when the truck was full "oh sorry, I slept in, are you still moving?" I told her yes, she can meet us at the new place (six blocks from her place) and help unload, and gave her the address. She called back TWO HOURS LATER, and said she lost the address, can she have it again. She ended up showing up another hour later, just as the last box was into the new house, and just stayed for the BBQ and party afterwards.
I was giving her my old big screen TV since there was no room for it in my new place. We arranged for her to pick it up three weeks before the move. I had four days after we moved to get everything out of our apartment, and the TV was still there post move. I called her once a day all four days and she never responded. I ended up having to run around and make extra trips to find someone else to take this FREE TV. She only responded to me a week later, said oh sorry, I was busy, then asked about the party we were planning to have that night and when she should show up.
I was so pissed how she totally, purposely ignored me when I really needed her help, and only comes by for parties, so I stopped calling her. After a month, she's started calling and texting me a bunch, and I'm torn. Do I really want to be friends with this girl?
Would you forgive her?
Re: Not sure where to post this...need help with crazy friend...long
Stop bending over backwards to be nice ot her and expect it in return. Probably just let the friendship die since it isn't an even trade and she is annoying you anyway.
Or hang out at parties and consider her an acquaintance only.
No. Why? What does she bring to the table?
update: she has contacted me since, again about coming to one of our get togethers, no asking how I am or how the new house is. I'm so fed up. It seems clear to me that she doesn't care about me, except as someone to help her out and organize fun things for her to do. She also likes to put me down and tease me when our guy friends are around (to make herself look better? I have no idea why she does it, and she only does it when the guys are there). I would keep her as an aquaintance, but she iritates me most in social situtions, and gets morose when she's not constantly center of attention. (I've talked to her about this before, and apparently I should fade into the background when we're in groups because I'm married, and she's not, so all attention should go to her so she can find a man.)
Thank you ladies for listening to my rant, and for all the advice. I'm definitely stopping contact with her. If I run into her, I refuse to feel badly for cutting contact, but there will be no arguing. I will wish her well but I am done hanging out with anyone who behaves that way.
It does hurt. She was my MOH at my wedding. I wish things were different, I really do, especially since I have such a hard time finding good girlfriends. I've also put a lot of effort into this friendship over the years, and kept telling myself that one day when I really need her, she'll be there for me....she never was.
I (almost) feel a little bad for her, since I'm pretty sure I was one of very few close friends for her. But she'll have to learn what friendship is or she'll likely lose all the rest.