9 to 5
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Sound off ladies...Im at a loss here (a little long)

Very long story short:  I relocated and gave up my career job after I got engaged, looking at the big picture it just made sense, my husband had a great job that was paying for him to get his MBA, he had a house, I had a 1 br apt, we could get by on his salary alone, not mine.  The MBA was the biggest thing, its so important for his field and we wont owe a dime.  I knew it would be totally unlikely for me to stay within my field (k-12) as education has taken a huge hit.  I managed to land a PT job in higher ed which I was pleased with b/c it was still in line with my career and masters degree.  Ive been looking for FT time work ever since and now may actually have the chance at it- but dont want to take it.  The job requires alot of travel (i did a 1 1/2 of long distance before I got married to husband and really dont want to do that again 3 months into marriage) the PT job gives me the opportuntiy to visit my parents more frequently b/c I moved 3.5 hours away..and I do miss them terribly, dad has Parkinson's so I make every effort possible to drive and see them often.

 My husband wants me to take it for the extra $ to put in the bank as we want to start a family in the next few years so more $ would help....If I take the FT Id also have to give up my gig teaching classes at the gym which I really, really love (its the one thing that I managed to find in this new area that keeps me going).  I feel like I keep making a lot of sacrifices (he is too) but should I make 1 more for the money or say forget it?  I guess part of me doesnt feel settled at all...In less than a year I moved hours away from family and friends, got married, changed jobs and am still trying to find my way in a new town while starting off married life with a husband that works and goes to school FT.

 Do I look at the big picture and focus on later or step back and say not now.  (Sometimes my current jobs sch is so sporadic I barely work and complain about that....).

Sorry ladies, I would appreicate some feedback.  Im totally conflicted between emotions and logic.

 

Re: Sound off ladies...Im at a loss here (a little long)

  • As much as you need money to survive, it definitely doesn't make you happy.  So if you're in a financial position where you can afford not to take the full-time job at the moment, I'd nix it.

    It sounds like you've found some things you love and are helping you adjust into your married life in a new area, so why give those up and be even more lost?

    Maybe you need to have a conversation with your husband stating the same things you wrote here, and you guys can go over the pros and cons of you taking the new position.  Sure, money's great but is it worth sacrificing your happiness which could lead to resentment down the line?

  • With the list of pros and cons you describe, I wouldn't take it.  You have a lot going on in your life right now, and I think being as realistic as possible about the effects that stress could have on you and your husband is important.   I would keep looking for a FT job that is a better fit.  

  • You already sacrificed a lot for him. I think your happiness is most important right now. I say wait for the next job to come along. the extra money might be nice, but not worth it in my opinion. 
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards