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Unsure about my employee
My employee Steph has been a problem for quite a few people at work for a while. She's a fairly good employee, but there have been problems between her and other employees. She's nosy, and whenever anyone goes through some major life change she tries to get involved, or at least say her 2 cents. I've already talked to her more than once about minding her manners and boundaries.
Today I didn't wear my engagement ring because my fibromyalgia was making it painful to wear, and she freaked out and assumed the engagement was over. I understand this and it doesn't bother me that much, and I told her that it was fine, my fibro was just acting up. But she didn't or couldn't listen to me and kept niggling at me all day about it, even after I told her to stop. She pulled similar stunts with other employees, and most of us are pretty sick about it.
She's not a bad employee other than these interpersonal issues. She produces good work, she's always on time, she gets work done fast. I feel like I need to at least talk to her and give her another boundaries lecture, but I've already done this so much, I feel like it's beating a dead horse.
Re: Unsure about my employee
Have you looked into discussing this issue with your HR department? Perhaps there is a course she can be apart of that teaches proper workplace etiquette. We have yearly meetings at my office regarding proper behaviour. One of them is of course not involving yourself in personal matters.
I would also suggest telling her there will be consequences to her behaviour in the future. She might think that she can make these slips and all she'll receive is a stern lecture, which in the workplace isn't always scary to employees.
You mention you've talked to her about boundaries and manners before, and that she kept on bothering about this particular issue after you asked her to stop. If she's going on even after you stop, she's not understanding what you're saying to her. You need to check with yourself on how clear you're being, both in terms of what she's doing, what the impact is, and what happens if she continues.
"Steph, I'm not sure why you've focused on this issue (about me, about someone else) so much today. I want you to understand that the issue is not your business, and the fact that you're focusing on it and inserting yourself into that person's situation isn't appropriate, and is bothersome to that person. You probably believe you're being helpful or showing concern, but you need to understand that it is not landing that way with me or with your colleagues, and it is actually negatively impacting your image here. You are a fine employee here and do good work, but this kind of behavior is disruptive to the office, impacts the relationships you have with your colleagues and me, and in general gets in the way of your performance and your success here. I want you to keep this in mind when you find yourself distracted by the personal situations of me and your colleagues in the future, and understand that your behavior needs to change in order for you to be seen as a productive member of the team in every way. "
Good luck.
Sit down with her and give her written guidelines about what you feel an employee should do in the way of appropriateness -- if this is a company that has an HR handbook, get the page that lists code of conduct, also.
Have her review and sign these guidelines --- and you sign also; both of you date them.
Give her a copy of what she has signed.
Draw appropriate barriers. Let her know that if she doesn't comply with company rules and regulations it will be cause for dismissal -- and if your company is an "at will" company, give her a page of that ruling also, and have her sign it and date it. Again, you do the same and give her a copy of what she has signed.
very, very well said.
agree