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Two issue, in need of a solution.
My new hubby has been the cellphone always on call guy. I thought that and I told him that I needed him to be there for me. It apparently didn't click even tho he said " I understand"
His boss calls him at 10 pm and we are in bed by then. I have work at 6am. I'm pissed! So my problem is him coming home from work and being on his phone. He works from 10-8 and when he gets home it's more work?
My issue #2 is I don't ever get time with him. His boss gets it all. Mon-sat 10-8 sun12-5 and Sunday he doesn't want to do anything cuz he's so tired from work. I want to go whitewater rafting and we can't cuz his boss won't give him one weekend. I will be surprised I get two weeks for our honeymoon. How do I make him see I don't want money I want time?
Re: Two issue, in need of a solution.
Nobody is "out of the office" anymore; that term ceased to exist years ago. Thank faxes and cell phones and email for that one.
Everybody from administrative assistants to zoologists are now "on call" 24/7. Nothing you can do about it.
What does he do for a living?
And btw, you knew what he did for a living when you were dating and you knew that he was not a 9-5 guy, so to speak. This is what you signed on for.
If you knew that back then and you weren't keen on the hours he works, you could have called it a day and found another boyfriend.
Maybe you thought the after hours calls would end once you got married? Nope. Not happening.
I can suggest that he find another job where the hours are more normal. Until he gets another job, this is it. Sorry.
Sounds like an "it is what it is" situation. It's his job and it provides you both with the lifestyle you have. Don't get me wrong, it totally sucks, but there is nothing you can do about it. He can find another job IF he's willing to. Or, you can talk to him seriously about this and express your concerns and come up with a reasonable solution... he's free Sundays. That's your (you and your husband's) day. Of course he is tired but have you asked him to make that "our day." That is, a day where you two spend time together, regroup, etc. Even if you can compromise and do every other Sunday. His Sunday is "lazy Sunday" - you guys stay in, watch movies, relax, etc. Your Sunday is "adventure Sunday" - you go white water rafting for example.
And I agree with Tarpon - this is something you knew going in and you still chose to make the commitment of marriage. You have to tough this out with him and be supportive. If you want to do more exciting things, then do it without him if need be.
I'm with these two. It's all about the compromise. Pick days where he can relax and pick days where you guys can do fun things together. Just because he doesn't jump when you tell him to doesn't mean he didn't understand. Chances are he did truly understand but he can't do anything about it because it is his job. Unless he volunteers to be the on-call guy. Then I would be pissed. But since you didn't say this was the case then you just have to suck it up. He had this job when you married him. Marriage wasn't going to ever change the hours.
This is just patently false.
Sorry, once a man gives another man his balls it's very difficult to get them back. True Story.
If I were you, I would leave for a weekend out with friends. Don't tell him until the day you leave. If he has a problem with it, just make it clear to him right then and there what your problem is.