Regret taking his name?

Valeriam · July 2012

I totally regret changing my name. I was going to hyfen it but he through such a fit and thought it was so important I change it and whatever- me being the push over I am gave in even though I really wanted to keep my last name. It is unique unlike his. His is one of the most common hispanic names you could think of. Anyway-- that is what I get for for not sticking to my guns. I'm so mad a myself for giving in and resentful to him.

Alissa2515 · July 2012

I'm sorry to hear that :-(. I was so excited to take my hubby's name so it worked out well for me but you have to do what makes you feel right! Why don't you start hyphenating it? Just let him know how upset you are and he has to understand. It is your life too, you need to be happy!

barbiegirl25 · July 2012

I changed mine on Facebook so everyone would think I had it changed legally, though I haven't changed it officially yet. It works for my husband even though I wish I had just been strong enough to keep my own name. He wishes I would change it legally. I feel those same feelings of resentment occasionally.

One thing that is working for me, and maybe you could get him on board, is I am going to give all of our children my maiden name as their middle names. I think I will legally add his last name to mine once we have children, and then we can all have the same name (mine as well as his). It kind of restores some of that independence and control for me that I felt was taken away when I took his name. And the fact that is sounds like your H is Hispanic, that is normal for his culture, so he shouldn't be against it! Good luck!

BeckyOff · July 2012

That's me.

I've changed it again so that his last name is my middle name and I get my last name back. I let his name be part of mine, mostly 'cus relatives insist on writing checks to me with his last name.

I really wish I'd never changed it at all. I always figured we'd have kids, and I convinced myself it would be simpler if we all had the same last name.

5 years later... no kids. No kids any time in the foreseeable future at all.

But maybe I kept his name a little bit just in case something changes and there are kids.

abbitha7 · July 2012

I hear you, OP. I originally dropped my last name, but after we filled out the paperwork, I started having anxiety about it. I have an unusual Swiss surname, and while my H has a fairly interesting last name as well, it just felt wrong to totally drop my name. I mean, it's such an integral part of your identity. I ended up calling the courthouse and asking them to change my name to Abigail MaidenName HisLastName, and I'm much happier with that. My last name is now my middle name, and I do plan on using it as much as possible. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

One thing though- don't be resentful of your husband. Nobody forced you to change your name. You didn't stand your ground, and that isn't his fault. It would be bad for your marriage to resent him over something like this for the rest of your life.

kellbell1919 · July 2012

I dropped my middle name and made my maiden name my middle name. How long have you all been married? I sometimes use both last named, not hyphenated, especially in work situations where I think people will remember me by my maiden name. It took some getting used to but doesn't feel that strange anymore.

MommyLiberty5013 · July 2012

I have four names.

First, Middle, Maiden, and Married. It's how I've done it legally. I kept the maiden, but didn't want to have a hyphen. So, now I just have two middle names. But, if people refer to me they just say my first and married name.

When I sign my sig, I sign my first, X.X. married.

DH was fine with it. But, he does tease me for being so high maintenance with four names.

anitanichole · July 2012

Haha, I wonder if yours and my husband have the same last name... ??

Honestly, I didn't care to change my last name either but I do like the sense of unity it brings to us as a couple that we have the same last name. But I do feel you on the missing my maiden name...

J&JSuiter070205 · July 2012

Alissa2515:
I'm sorry to hear that :-(. I was so excited to take my hubby's name so it worked out well for me but you have to do what makes you feel right! Why don't you start hyphenating it? Just let him know how upset you are and he has to understand. It is your life too, you need to be happy!

Ditto. To all of this.

dizzyupthemeg · July 2012

We are in the same boat just opposite sides, kind of. I don't regret taking my DH's name. I actually really like his last name but it is an odd last name that no one can spell. My first name is technically misspelled as well, therefore no one can spell any part of my name. My maiden name was common, and I never had to spell it twice for anyone. I miss that.

Knena&her3loves · July 2012

I had four names before marriage so hyphenating our names seemed like just too much but I wanted to keep my last name. People, mostly my Mom still refers to me on paper, cards, etc as Mrs. His last name. I would never take his last name because it is McVeigh but spelled different. I don't like the correlation with the Oklahoma City bomber. We'll probably hyphenation our kids names, though.

nicole mackenzie · July 2012

My mother has a cool maiden name...she took my dad's name but gave changed her middle name and my sister's middle name to her maiden name.

I took my DH last name. I kinda thought we should take his step dads last name instead, but he thought it would be weird to change his name, lol.

Im traditionalist I suppose and was very excited to take his last name (although I didnt actually do it until 4 months after the wedding...lol)

If you care, then tell him. He married you, he should love and respect you. Try to find something you both agree on. I had some friends that both changed their name to something completely different than either of their maiden names...

Regret taking his name?

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