Family Matters
BLESSEDQDAY
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Hubby accepted a job and didn't tell me until today. how would u react
Hubby is in the IT field, and has been hopping jobs since 2009...he was doing a supervisor IT position. Today at dinner, he decided to tell me he has been to an interview, accepted a CONTRACT job, and gave two weeks notice to the supervisor job he was at.
I am hurt that he didn't tell me about this until today ...would you be?
I'm also concerned because a contract job does not have benefits and with a little one we need it! Especially when they get sick, having to get out early and use PTO extra. I am currently the person who has the insurance for the fam but it's $$ since i'm in the healthcare field.
Would you be upset if you were in my position? I think there is major Trust issues because of this...
Re: Hubby accepted a job and didn't tell me until today. how would u react
I'd be furious. It's "come to Jesus" talk time- he had better agree to go to counselling and consult you with major decisions. It would be a deal breaker for me, but maybe you can come back from this if he works hard enough to regain your trust. Maybe.
Hoping you get this straightened out. Maybe his boss will be glad to re-hire him.
I find it odd that you're reaction is to wonder if it's typical to be upset about this. Is he challenging your feelings on this? Shocked that you don't just roll with the news?
I think there is a big difference between being told 'this is how it's going to be' and being part of the decision. Being excluded from such a big decision is really odd unless you're a housewife on MadMen and its 1960.
You're entitled to your feelings, and you shouldn't wonder if you have a right to them. That's a given. But what you should be really focusing on is why your DH chose to proceed like this. That seems like a much better use of your time. Be angry. For a while. But get to the bottom of "why", too.
One thing I'll say - at least he had a job lined up before quitting!
For all the reasons already listed, I'd be pissed that he didn't talk to me.
But another thing to think about - being a "job hopper" will possibly catch up w/ him eventually. He needs to start figuring out why he isn't happy at his job and why he keeps looking for something new. You have too many jobs in too short a time - people will start to think "He isn't going to stick around - we don't want to hire him".
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
How long did he wait to tell you? I do agree with PPs that I would be upset he didn't weigh the pros and cons with me.
I will say just to throw it out there, there are some benefits to being contract. It's possible that he will make more money this way. Where I work, the company would not approve to put me on staff salaried at the amount I currently make under contract, but they approve me for full time hours at contract rate. It comes down to their budget. No PTO sucks, but I can also just take off when I want, don't need "approval" from HR. No team building seminars, staff meetings, etc.
DO remember to take a percentage of his check out and save for taxes though. Not gonna lie, that part is shitty.
Since you have a child, you immediately need to figure out the health insurance issue. You probably have 30/60 days to get COBRA set up, and since he has wasted a couple of weeks, you need to take action now.
You need to look at the full picture. How much will you guys be paying for health insurance, taxes etc. Did the old employer provide a FSA or matching funds for IRAs? You will have to make sure the new income covers all of these things.
My H wouldn't do this, because he places values on his testicles, which I would crush if he pulled a stunt like this!
You need to sit your H down and tell him that choice he makes impact the whole family, and he cannot do these on this own.
I would then ask him why he took the contract job. Is it better pay? An entry into a better company or position? A chance to reposition his career? Was he miserable at his own job. Hopefully, he wanted something other than variety!
I would also want to know about your relationship - - are you the type of person that it is better to "ask forgiveness, not permission" from? I'm not blaming you at all for this, but I'm wondering if your H didn't tell you because he knew you would turn a deaf ear towards his career goals and job satisfaction, because you would rather have stability. You and your H might have communication problems that are deeper than merely his refusal to consult you on plans that impact the two of you.
Yeah he pretty much what's the big deal when I asked why didn't you tell me etc..
:-/
Why are some men so dumb? Can somebody please answer this for me?
I would be soooooo p!ssed if my H came home and told me he quit his job for something like this without even asking my opinion first.
It's funny too, because about 2 months before our wedding, my BIL tried to convince my H to leave his job - with a very good company - to go work for him. The deal would have been to pay my H a salary, 10k less than what he was making, but with the potential to make a bonus, NO BENEFITS, and guarantee that he would be employed for at least a year - maybe longer depending on how the company did. My BIL's company has yet to turn any real profit that I know of.....and when my H presented this idea to me, I freaked out on not only him, but my BIL too. I wish the guy all the best and all, but his idea that my H should quit his awesome stable job for this was a bit ridiculous.
In the end, I won - it's not about winning though, it's about putting your foot down and smacking some sense into a man when they have these stupid ideas that ultimately affect you too.