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Should I say "I love you"?

Hi Everyone.

I've been dating my boyfriend for just over five months now.  I'm 28 and he is 25, so he is a little younger than me, which I normally try not to focus on but sometimes it makes me feel uncomfortable.  We are very happy (or at least I am, I think he is too) but neither of us has said "I love you" yet.  Well, actually that's not quite accurate.  After we had been dating about 2.5 months, he said it to me while he was drunk.  Very drunk.  I'm not sure if he remembers or not, and I've never brought it up becuase I didn't want to embarrass him. 

I am definitely in love with him but I don't want to say it first.  The reason is because I had to ask him out and kind of make this thing happen in the first place.  I put myself on the line a lot in the beginning and so I don't really want to have to be the one to take this other big step first.  I've asked my friends and some of them have agreed that I shouldn't be the one to do it first.  On the other hand, I am pretty sure he does love me and is probably just nervous about saying it first.  And because I'm older and have had more relationship experience than he has (I was previously in a five-year relationship, I think his longest one was 6 months to a year), I feel like maybe I should be the "bigger" person and say it first. 

 What should I do?  Should I wait for him to say it first or go for the plunge?

Re: Should I say "I love you"?

  • Do what feels right and comfortable to you.  If you don't feel comfortable saying it first because you did the pursuing, then don't.  There's no real rule here.
    image
  • 3 years means nothing.:) Trust me on this one.

    Play this one by ear. Give it a few more months. See what happens.:)
  • Since you feel like things are going well, I would try not to worry too much about it...mainly because people say I love all the time just because they feel like their supposed to and it doesn't really have any true depth when they say it. Sometimes they do mean it, though. But none-the-less, you should judge more by his actions than what he says. If you really just feel compelled to start saying it, you could always just start off by saying "Love you!" as you part ways or at the end of a phone conversation and see if he says anything back...it might at least break the ice. Good luck! :)
  • I bet he does remember, but isn't likely to say it again when you haven't reciprocated yet. 

  • let it go...like the old song says "More than words..." If you two have fun, like spending time together and he treats you well and you feel good about the relationship, then "I love you" doesn't need to be said. You can figure out the deal by how he treats you and how dedicated, loyal an loving he is to you. If I had a dollar for every time a guy said "I love you" I'd be richer than god. But in the end those words meant nothing because when push came to shove and it was time to make the leap to the next steps - engagement, marriage, kids - all those guys ran for the hills. In the end, my H rarely says it but I know he does because he treats me well, he respects me, and all that good stuff. 

  • imagesillygoosegirl:

    I bet he does remember, but isn't likely to say it again when you haven't reciprocated yet. 

    This. Just because he was drunk, doesn't mean he doesn't remember. The first time I told a guy I was dating I loved him, I was drunk... I sure as hell remember him not saying it back. Didn't say it again.  

    If you love him, tell him. It's not a game of who says it first. Do it. :) 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
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