Philadelphia Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
LO is 8.5 months and only falls asleep nursing or being rocked. For the sitter, he falls asleep in stroller or swing. The whole "put your baby down in his crib when he's awake" does not work for us because we haven't done any sort of sleep training.
I took a class at BRC and read "Sleeping Through the Night" by Jodi Mindell.
We don't want to do CIO (cry it out) but are contemplating a more moderate approach (like that in the Mindell book). Now we're just procrastinating starting any sort of "training" so I thought I'd see what you girls did.
Re: baby sleep strategies
So, DS would go down awake, but he did go through a phase around 9 months or so with multiple evening wake ups PLUS no interest in nursing.
Once we confirmed it wasn't teeth, hunger, diaper -- just wanting to play - we moved to a 5, 10, 15 type thing. If we heard him, we waited five minutes before going in, then picked him up, hugged him, sang whatever (some people will say don't pick him up, but we weren't into that). Then we put him down, and repeat if he wasn't out in ten minutes. We never had to resort to 15.
I think in many ways the processes are the same, it is just the intervals you wait, and what you do when you go in --- I was ok with it taking longer because we used shorter intervals and more comfort.
How did you get him down awake the first time?
We're in that multiple-wake-up phase now. Nursing/rocking back to sleep. Hits the crib, boom. Wide awake and crying. Repeat 1 or 2 times and you've lost an hour or more.
Ditto Amy. We did a modified cio and we never got past 10 mins of fussing. We would do a pick up and snuggle. The main rule was that we never would leave the nursery- we wouldn't bring him into the living room or let him down on his own. It worked well for us.
Good luck!
Ditto the others. It worked like magic. I think we did it two nights. We didn't pick her up though, unless it was a major breakdown. but usually it wasn't. And I think we never got farther than 10 minutes either.
E would also go down awake. We went with the whole drowsy but awake. For the longest time it was, read two books, rock for 10 minutes, then in the crib. She was tired but awake. We didn't stop the rocking until I'd say, 5 months ago. And that was totally on her. After she gets a book or two, she wants down off your lap and points to the crib for bed. It's convenient, but sad. No more sleepy cuddles.
I know people will hate me for this, but he just sort of did it on his own. He did have a glo worm, and I do think that distracted him.
Now we keep a few board books in the crib. He "reads" before he lays down. In the dark. Kids are weird.
Butting in here because we are reaching this point -
What was/is everyone's nighttime routine? And what time do they get put down in the crib?
Right now I get home about 5:30-6. He plays a bit while I'm making dinner and he sits down with us and eats a little bit. After dinner we play a bit more or give him a bath and then he goes into pjs about 730-7:45ish. I then nurse him (no rocking) and he always falls asleep (8:15-8:30ish). Most of the time he'll sleep through until 5am but in the last week or so he's decided he wants to wake up at 3am. Sometimes I can get him back to sleep with a bit of patting/jiggling (he sleeps on his stomach), sometimes he's just talking to himself so I let him be and sometimes I bring him into the bed with me to nurse because he's crying and I just want to go back to bed before I have to get up at 5.
So I guess if I want him to still go down about 8:15-8:30, I should probably nurse him about 7:30 then? And then quiet playing/reading until I'm ready to put him down?
Jackie - I just got Mindell's book from the library as well as Dr. Karp's new book. We'll have to discuss after I read them.
#1 12.11.11
#2 10.23.13 EDD
#1 12.11.11
#2 10.23.13 EDD
This was by far the worst part of working. When I went back to work the baby was going to be at 8 or 8:30. But then she eventually started going to bed earlier and earlier to the point that she was in bed at 7. She's still going to bed that early now and sleeps til about 7-730.
I was never stingy with the rocking or nursing to sleep. I liked the cuddle time. Plus I always figured she'd grow out of it and it was never something we needed to do all the time. Even now we sit in her chair and read two books and do a little rocking before she goes in the crib. We sit and talk about her day and after a few minutes she asks to go to bed.
For us the key was always consistency, routine, and serious commitment to naps. I never thought I'd be one to give up my own stuff for naptime, but we've missed a lot of things so this kid can her sleep. It makes for a sane LD and household.
LD - naps are part of the problem too. Jack is a catnapper. While he is rarely cranky, I'm sure this is contributing to his ocassional night wakings.
The problem is compounded because my mom watching him two days a week (T& W) and my SIL watches him three days a week (M, Th, F). And now that my MIL has retired, she will be watching him one day a week. So he's in three different environments each week. And while he'll have the sole attention with my mom and MIL, my SIL has two kids (2 and 5) and they've got their own schedules too.
My mom only gets short naps out of him (typically 30-45 minutes twice a day). My SIL can get slightly longer ones (typically an hour to an hour and a half - I think the kids wear him out). My MIL is the champion - she can get him to nap at least two hours twice a day.
I almost just want to put him in daycare just to be on the same schedule.
#1 12.11.11
#2 10.23.13 EDD
Hmm, what is your MIL doing that the others aren't? Can you pick her brain and make suggestions to your mom?
Also, DC was rough on my daughter's napping. So loud, so many babies, took her for.ev.er to get on a relatively decent schedule there. Don't worry that dc would be any better or worse. He'll get on a schedule eventually.
I am so incredibly fortunate enough that my kid fell into a routine on his own once he started STTN but we gently guided him into it. Here's how we roll (I'm sorry if I sound like a moron but I'm just overexplaining like I always seem to do these days):
-bath and brush teeth
In his bedroom with the lights dimmed (aka a receiving blanket tossed over the lampshade)
-lotion with lavendar scented lotion (which is said to calm babies). We use the lavendar scent ONLY at night so he associates it with bed time.
-dress and diaper him speaking in only soft tones
-story or two with lights still dimmed
-bottle and burp with lights dimmed (winter) or off (summer)
-rock for a few minutes (longer if he falls asleep right away)
-if he's awake, lay him down in the crib with the mobile on. It's a crank mobile so it goes off on its own and he's usually asleep by the time it's done.
I don't know if any of that is helpful. But we try to keep it consistent and just use the same things at the same time so he associates then with bed time. Good luck!
I'll be hated too. C just goes to sleep. I'll read her a story downstairs if she is playing with the books, but when she starts rubbing her eyes or laying her head down, we go right to the crib and I turn on her glow-worm-sea-horse thing. She will only start crying if I did it too early, so then I'll get her out and play a little longer, repeat. She was never a cuddler
I hope I'm not jinxing myself.
If dh is out of town, I don't get home with her until 6-6:15 and she is usually in bed by 7:30. It is a quick dinner, bath, play, bed. Makes me sad.
DD: 6-24-11
EDD: 9-20-14