Baltimore Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Wednesday Randoms, Confessions, etc
I miss DH. He left Sunday afternoon and won't be back until this Sunday night. It seems stupid to say but I feel like I have no one to talk to! Anytime DS does something cute and/or new I think, oh I have to tell DH, but he's not here.
I am dropping DS off at IL's Saturday afternoon so that I can do...nothing! I don't have any specific plans but I want to try to get something done while I have some free time.
As always, I have NO idea what to get for DH for his birthday next month. I always want to get him a great gift and I never come up with something. And now I have to come up with 2: one from me and one from DS.
BFP#1: 01/10, M/C 6w -- BFP#2: 06/10, M/C 5w -- BFP#3: 09/10, DS born June 1, 2011
BFP#4: 07/12, M/C 5w3d -- BFP#5: 12/12, EDD 08/18/13
Decorate This
I have been listening to the cheesiest music here at work. I have been on this kick lately where I have been all about Phil Collins, Christopher Cross, and too many more 80s adult contemporary artists to name.
Christopher cross's Ride Like the Wind is a pretty bad azz song.
Ava's bangs went really far back on her head so the last time she got a hair cut, he didn't cut some of them so they can grow out and she can have less. Well she hates wearing things in her hair so those few bangs are really long, it's annoying and I wish they'd grow out already!
I think we are getting award money on our next checks so I'm going to get some new clothes that I desparately need. I hate clothes shopping for me though.
Confession: we were supposed to go to the gym last night and then cook dinner. DH brought home Ledo's and we pigged out instead.
Random: I may have the opportunity to work in Milwaukee for the month of August. I really want to go (for a new experience) and I may not get this chance again. However, my nephew is having outpatient surgery (tubes in his ears) on August 14th. I told my sister that I would watch my niece for her since siblings aren't allowed. Finding someone else to babysit isn't a big deal but I feel morally conflicted. I feel like I'm choosing work over family. Is it worth not going? I'm not sure.. I have three days to decide.
I was going to go to my exercise class too and instead DH brought home Cheeburger Cheeburger.
Lately, I have been doing all of the cleaning (vacuuming, scrubbing, bathrooms, etc.) When I bring this up to DH he counters with "well I make dinner and wash diapers". Yeah? So do I. At some point, DD will be out of diapers, so what will his excuse be then?
My mom is in the hospital and DH was out with friends. She is ok, but I wish he would have come home when I texted him. (I know he's not a mind reader.) I'm also kind of pissed that he gets to go out more and I don't (I realize this is partially my own making.) I can't see going out late at night (a childless friend set up rollerskating starting at 10:30 Friday night) and still getting up at 5-6 on Saturday with DD. I've told him that if he wants us to go out, then he can screen and hire a babysitter and pay for him/her. Of course he never bothers (we don't have family close by).
I'm also annoyed that his 20 minutes of relaxation time turns into 2 hours.
My house looks like a bomb went off, all because I'm too damn tired to do anything. E's been doing laundry and dishes so that we have clothes and clean glasses for drinking, and he also takes care of the cat boxes and trash. But I desperately need to clean the kitchen counters and stove top, vacuum upstairs and down, help M organize and clean up her room, and work on the baby's room. I just... don't feel like it. It's filthy and it's driving me nuts, but all I can manage when I get home is lying on the couch before I move to lying in bed.
I'm grateful for a healthy pregnancy, but I cannot wait for it to be over. Not that I'm wishing for a preemie, but I'm wishing for mid-September, when I already have a baby in my arms and can move on beyond pregnancy.
Also: I just booted my father from my newsfeed on Facebook because I'm sick of his political posts. While at my nephew's birthday party this past weekend, I actually heard him utter the words "Obama's a Muslim" and I almost bit the tip of my tongue off in an attempt to keep the peace. I kept my mouth shut while a short-lived political discussion developed around me and I'm getting to the end of my rope.
Confession: I'm in a bad place. I'm tired of dealing with DH's bipolar that continually cause a strain on us. I can only be supportive to what he's willing to work on and fix. I barely want to be around him and he'll call me at work to check in and end with this puppy dog "I love you" moment on the phone and I could care less because I have built up so much resentment for the situation. I don't know what to do anymore and therapy just isn't really offering me much any more. I'm not the same happy person I once was. It's so frustrating for both of us...he didn't ask for his disease, I understand that, but I also am tired of being the one to bear the load. It's mentally and emotionally exhausting. His medicine works for him and he does take it regularly but there are things in which he has promised to step up and focus on which haven't happened. You can only lead a horse to water, right?
This topped with continual work issues has made me feel over all of it. I keep being told one thing at work in regards to one particular issue but yet nearly 3 months later, nothing has happened. We also have a team member who screws everything up. Management knows yet nothing ever gets addressed. I'm behind in work because I'm fixing errors...doesn't seem to equate out.
So needless to say, I'm a little stressed. I try and stay positive and even keiled but really, I want to run away from it all and go off the grid for a few days.
Lots of hugs
Maybe you can take a day or two off by yourself and just go somewhere solo?
Maybe you need to go to therapy by yourself too.
This is going to be long winded....
My work is undergoing a LOT of change and I'm not sure how much more I can take. When I started 6 years ago, I was one of ten employees. We now have 30 with several more hires planned. I have worked my way up from entry-level to a management position and am truly the only employee that understands operations from the trenches up, yet I'm constantly held back from being promoted to Director (which has been promised to me for 2+ years).
I have my MBA, 6 years work experience, yet they keep hiring senior management from outside the company. It's so frustrating to see this happen. This is not where I saw myself 6 years post-graduate.
I know I should be thankful that I have a stable job in this economy, but it's a constant internal struggle everyday to get up and go to work at a place where I feel sabotaged and like an outsider. Of the 30 employees only 5 (me included) have been employed longer than 3 years. I think that says something about our turnover and growth.
Many of the new hires are hell bent on pointing the finger at everything the rest of us has been doing wrong for the past few years, yet we were just trying to keep our heads above water from being overworked. It makes me furious to see the same ideas/change I wanted to happen years ago suddenly happen because a "newbie" decided we should.