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Poll: Certain privileges at certain ages
When you were a kid, did you gain certain privileges at certain ages? I remember a few, like we could ride our bikes to different spots when we turn a certain age, like maybe age 10 to go around the block.I know there were more, but I can't remember.
If you have kids, will you do the same thing?
My friend asked me this yesterday at Allison's b-day party. He told his daughter that when she turns five she can do certain things (you can tell he is getting stressed out the promises me made. hee hee).
I had thought about the other week, but our issues is that our girls are so close in age, that in some ways it is like having twins. Usually before we left Allison do something, we make sure that we are OK with Mia doing the same thing. Things like dating and wearing make-up, we will set age requirements and let Mia wait. But for small stuff, I really don't want to fight a battle with Mia for 14 months.
Re: Poll: Certain privileges at certain ages
Before the age of 12/13 or so, I don't remember any real "age" privileges. My brother is 1 1/2 years older than me, so I pretty much got to do whatever he did until we got older. Once we got to be teenagers, my brother basically got to do whatever he wanted, and because I was a girl I had a ton of rules. It was dumb.
I'm with you, GVSU. Just because the child reaches a certain age doesn't necessarily mean they are developmentally, emotionally, physically etc. ready. So they could be ready earlier than a specific age, or not at all ready at that age. It depends on the child, for most things, I think.
When I was growing up, I know we had some of this, but I really can't remember. I do remember my mom really wouldn't let me to go a PG-13 movie until I was 13. Of course, I went anyways as other parents took us.
My friend had little rewards like being able to drink a little bit of pop at a party, or chew gum. It is more things that you keep trying to put off when they are younger and you can use the age as a excuse.
I actually like the idea of giving them something to look forward to. Our girls do get birthday parties at a certain age, like 3 and 5, so Mia knows that she won't get a party this fall.
We had different bedtimes at different ages growing up, but for us, it is easier to put them to bed at the same time. Plus bedtime has gotten later and later and we need to reign that back in.
I'm not sure I remember many age requirements when I was younger. I played with the neighbor kids a lot and one was a year and half older and then her siblings were two younger than me, so they normally didn't get to do what we did.
I do remember that to ride my bike around the block I had to go with one of the other kids, and the rule was the same at the neighbors house - buddy system. That was probably when I was about 8-11. As I got a little older I was allowed to go alone. Side note: we had a creepy guy - he had some mental illness - who walked around the neighborhood and said things to us kids so normally we were too scared to go anywhere out of the yard alone. The neighbor was a cop so he was a little stricker with the kids and rules and I think my parents just followed along since we all played together and it made it easier.
I know I wasn't supposed to date until I was in like 8th grade (so 14) and I actually used that as an excuse when a boy I didn't like asked me out in 7th grade.
And I don't think I was allowed to wear makeup before age 12.
Since the girls are so close in age I would say that they just need to stick together. If Mia wants to do something she need Allison to come with and if Allison doesn't want to then Mia will have to wait. And you could have it the same for Allison. Even though they are close in age I would still say since Mia is younger there are just some things she shouldn't do on her own. That's just what I would do if I were in your shoes.
I'm sure as they get to be teenagers Allison will want to do things w/o Mia tagging along on occassion and that will probably be hard on Mia but Allison will need some independance too. That just comes with being the oldest child.
I think that at certain age it is a good point to evaluate the child and see if they are responsible enough for the privilege. SS to this day has a bedtime. During the school 10pm, during summer 11pm maybe midnight. We do this because he still isn't good at self governing. We have tried to let him go on his own but it didn't work out. Same thing with cooking, when he was old enough to make a grilled cheese or mac n cheese we would watch him and he was allied to use on certain pans. As he got older and better he got he was able to use the better pans.
Personally from my childhood I remember we had the buddy system. I could ride my bike to my friends house, they lived 2 blocks away. At age 10 I was able to hop the fence and go to the park by myself. I remember biking to school was a big one for us and I think that happened about 4th or 5th grade. I was the "middle child" in my group of friend so I girl was at the very least a year old. Our parents lets us know that she was in charge if we were on our own. I also remember that with each year I got older I gained a 1/2hr at night. So 1 year was 9pm the next was 9:30pm. Staying home by myself was 12-13.
I remember a few things:
- Couldn't get my ears pierced until I reached the second grade
- Couldn't have a CD/tape/radio player in my room until I turned 13
- Couldn't date until I was 16
My parents were also big followers of rules set by other entities...I certainly did not see a PG-13 movie until I was 13, and even then I had to get their permission to see it. And there was no way they would let me "practice" driving until I turned 15 and was formally enrolled in drivers' ed. Personally, I think that's the right way to go. Otherwise, what are you teaching kids other than rules/laws don't matter?
I couldn't get my ears pierced until that age as well. Always wanted to have my daughter's done when she was a baby but did decide it was best to let her make the decision when she is old enough to ask about it. And I wasn't allowed to see PG13 movies unless my parents saw it first before I was 13 - which rarely happened.
I don't remember most of it until someone mentions it. I'm sure I thought my parents were too strict as a kid but it must not have been that bad if I can't remember much.
This is all very similar to me. Except, I got my ears pierced in third grade. And I had a tape player in my room when I was 11 or 12.