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Double paranoia courtesy of my OB/GYN
I have had recurring yeast infections for over a year now, and I went to the doctor the other day determined to get to the bottom of it. I assumed she would check my blood sugar (diabetes can cause recurring yeast) and the basic yeast panel, and maybe even for BV to see if that's what it was. She surprised me by insisting on a full bacteria panel - including STDs, and the whole works.
Now, I have never been with anyone but my husband. Ever. We've been together for over 5 years, and he said he hadn't been in a situation to contract an STD either. I told her this, as I did when I started going and she just sort of looked at me like I'd just told her I bathe llamas for a living. So, of course I'm going to do the test - she's the doctor, not me.
Problem is this: I come home and tell DH I'm waiting for test results. Instantly it seemed like there was some sort of rift between us. He asked whether that all was necessary, and had I told my doctor about our history (or lack thereof). I told him I had, but she still seemed to think it was a good idea. It was like he was mad at me for not arguing with her. This in turn made me wonder why on earth he was so upset about it. I asked him if he was worried about the cost, because it would be the same as the yeast culture due to our insurance. He said no, and got sort of quiet. I think maybe he is worried that I don't trust him, or that he shouldn't trust me. Plus, I can't stop worrying about that teeny little chance that I'll get bad news - I know it would NOT be me who brought it into our relationship.
I'm not sure how to fix this - I feel like this little harmless problem has introduced suspicion into our relationship. Every time I want to say something to him, to reassure him or ask him what his concerns are, I decide against it. I just want it to be fine, and I'm worried that even if the results are squeaky clean (which I'm 99% sure will happen) it won't be enough.
Re: Double paranoia courtesy of my OB/GYN
If this is the case, the both of you need to be treated.
To your husband- I'd say that I'd noticed he'd been quiet after telling him about the tests the doctor ordered, and wondered if he felt I should have pressed the issue with the doctor and insisted on not having the tests because I knew there was no chance of an STD. I would further explain that I had said as much to the doctor, that she hadn't backed down on the recommendation, and that I'd gone ahead with her suggestion because it was no additional cost and I felt it would speed up finding the actual issue if this issue was ruled out to the doc's satisfaction.
I've been in instances- several, actually- where I've had to have tests I knew I didn't need just so that the doctor could rule it out and move on to testing things that were possibilities. I feel like my word should be enough, but I also understand, from a medical point of view, why needing to have it officially, medically tested and ruled out is important. In your case, for every couple where they really haven't done anything that could contract an STD, there's another where the husband lied or one or the other had poor information and didn't realize STDs could be contracted that way or whatever. If she took all her patients at their word, without testing to be sure, some of her patients might not get the right diagnosis or treatment. Your doctor can't risk that.
I definitely agree with having him checked out for harboring a yeast infection.
With that said, this exact situation happened to my SIL a few months ago. She was going into the doc for recurring infections, which she thought were yeast infections. She was having a very hard time, and the doc insisted on doing a full test run, STDs included. I honestly think that's a pretty common thing. I have had those tests run a few times, just to be on the safe side and with the recommendation of my doctor (even though I knew I would be clean.)
Back to my SIL. She ended up having the same situation with her husband of 8 years. Unfortunately it's an awkward thing either way. He got defensive, like she didn't trust him, and at the same time she had that little glimmer of doubt. I would reassure your husband that these tests are very normal when they can't find any other cause for a reoccurring infection. The unfortunate truth is some people cheat, and that's the only thing your doctor has to go by. They don't know how strong your marriage is, or how faithful you are. It's to keep you and your husband safe. In my SILs case it ended up being a uterine infection. Kind of embarrassing, but they decided it could have been due to unhygienic use of certain marital aids. (might be something to check if you use those too
)
First and foremost, talk openly and honestly with your DH. He is feeling strange about this whole thing, too. Reassure him you know he's not cheating. Don't have an argument that might be over absolutely nothing. Good luck, and I surely hope you get your health back to where you want it!!
Also try to alter your diet yeast love sugars!
Try eating plain yogurt every day or taking acidophilus
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When I tell Doctors I've only ever had sex with my H (and he with me) AND that it was after our wedding they look at me like I have three heads. So I empathize.
I hope your Dr figures out what's wrong and it gets treated for good asap.
This seems the most likely thing to me. I fail to see how it's more likely that you'd be getting recurring yeast infections that DH got from a mistress rather than from you. That is completely illogical.
Some people refuse to believe that it is possible for two people can actually choose to be monogamous. My doctor refused to give me the HPV vaccine because I already had HPV. How did she know I had HPV? Because I wasn't a virgin. Never mind that DH and I have only ever been with each other. What I didn't know at the time was that my doctor was not following standard practice and many of my friend who had at least as much sexual history, if not more, were getting the vaccine.
Something else to keep in mind is that many STDs can be transmitted other ways. They are just most commonly, in the general population, transmitted via sex. Even if the test shows that you have something, it doesn't prove that one of you cheated. And frankly I think any doctor who gives the test without explaining this, especially to someone who already raised the objections you raised, is morally bankrupt. I was horrified in high school health class when the teacher told us that yeast infections were STDs, since I knew my mom got them. Fortunately I was the kind of student who asked questions, because she didn't seem to be interested in telling us that you could get them other ways.
Is he normally jealous? Did neither of you have other partners before the marriage, or just you?
Thank you all so much. I got my test results back and they were all completely fine, other than the yeast and something called urea plasma, which apparently just changes the pH and can cause this sort of thing. I immediately called my husband, and he seemed relieved, and definitely happy. I think he's already totally back to normal about it.
I took your advice and just talked to him frankly about it. I told him I know he isn't cheating, and I told him I hadn't either. When I mentioned the possibility of passing yeast back and forth, he thought that was more plausible. He definitely seemed to chill out a lot when we talked about it, and he said he felt worried I don't trust him, or that maybe there was something going on (which is basically exactly how I felt at his reaction). It really helped us both, and I'm so glad I manned up and just brought it up with him.
To answer your questions, neither of us had ever had sex before. I think he may have "fooled around" with a previous girlfriend, but I don't think it was even like, oral sex.