Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
No sex life...
After reading a recent post asking how often readers have sex, I feel like I needed to ask this....
My bf and I have been together for about 2 yrs. In the beginning our sex life was alright, about once a week. Now its about once a month!!... If I'm lucky. Is it the age gap? He is in his mid to late 30s and I am in my 20's? I try to initiate it all the time, he always gives me the excuse that he is too tied. Should I be concerned.
My bf and I have been together for about 2 yrs. In the beginning our sex life was alright, about once a week. Now its about once a month!!... If I'm lucky. Is it the age gap? He is in his mid to late 30s and I am in my 20's? I try to initiate it all the time, he always gives me the excuse that he is too tied. Should I be concerned.
Re: No sex life...
What it really is:
It's OVER.
This relationship's come and gone (so to speak) and it's run its course. It happens.
Your next step:
Say goodbye to this guy -- part amicably -- and find yourself another boyfriend.
He's also a tad too old for you. Find a guy your age; guys in their late 30s nearly never have anything in common with girls in their (early) 20s.
I thought you sounded familiar...you're the one whose BF is stringing you along:
He is bringing zero to your table. Be wise and move on; don't fish where the fishing isn't good.
At this stage of the game, you and he should be getting closer, not drifting apart. And drifting apart is what is happening here.
Be smart and be wise and tell this loser goodbye.
Give it a good year -- no dating; call a moratorium on dating and men -- and you figure out what you want to do.
Therapy for you too, since you think it's fine to want to marry somebody who does not want to marry you -- your self esteem is in the toilet.
Please move on. Find someone who makes you happy and fulfills you (and you do the same for him).
How often do you see him?
Hows your relationship besides the sex?
Wow, all I can say is what the other women have already said. It's over... I cant think of a guy I know who wouldnt want to have sex period... if he's making up excuses of why he doesnt want to, the only thing I can think of is that he's being a coward and wont just come right out and say what he's really thinking. If a headache lasts a day or two thats understandable... but for a month? That's called a tumor and he should really see a neurologist.
The only thing I am going to say in contrary to what another woman said is the age gap thing. I am 25 and my husband is 35, and honestly our relationship is A LOT more healthy than any relationships I've ever had with guys my own age. Though I've always tended to be a bit ahead of people my own age, wanting things that guys my own age didnt... for instance I was never the kind of girl who just wanted to "see where things went" In a relationship, I figure after 6 months, you either see a future with someone or you dont... not that you should plan your wedding right then and there... but you only get one life, why waste any time on someone who doesnt want the same things as you. I have a feeling that the fact that he's older has less to do with why he's not right for you than may have been implied (no offense of course to the woman who implied it) the guy's pretty immature for his age.... dragging his feet about making a commitment... he's not getting any younger.
This is no longer about him, clearly you've done everything in your power to try to be good to him. You need to start being good to you. Move on little lady, give yourself some breathing time, and when you're ready, make sure the next guy you let into your life is a MAN!!!
This. Sure you can go back to the dating pool and find a guy who will bone you 4 times a week, but will he be responsible? A hard worker? Will you have as much in common? Will he display as many qualities that you value?
To say a relationship is OVER simply because sex has slowed down is foolish and short sighted. Sex is an important display of intimacy, but not the only factor in evaluating a relationship. The fact that you want to have sex more is promising because it shows there is still an attraction on your end, so if you believe there is still an attraction on his end then you are certainly not doomed. Any number of things can cause a lull in sexual activity, stress being number one. And comments like "no normal man would ever turn down sex!" are just baseless generalizations.
If you think this may be a deal breaker for you, try an exercise where you evaluate your relationship in terms of pros and cons. You may find that the real problem is something else or that there is no problem when compared to all the other positive traits in your relationship.