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Kids in Church
We have been taking Aisilng to Church with us since she was a newborn, and so she is familiar with the environment and the routine of Mass. Recently, though, she has hit a rough patch where some weeks she will be fine and will sit through Mass with a snack and books just fine, while other weeks she will be wild- yelling things out, fighting with us, running out of the pew and screaming when we restrain her, etc. This past Sunday, I had to take her outside to try to calm her down, and she ran ahead of me and fell on pavement, skinning both knees and creating a bloody mess, then screamed like a madwoman when I tried to pick her up and bring her back inside to get our bag from the pew so that I could try to clean her up a little.
I recognize that she is going to be 2 next week and that at this age, kids explore, test limits, and all that. I am feeling a little helpless here, though. I've stopped taking her to Mass on weekends that DH is away, because it's just too much for me alone to handle. Our Church does not have a crying room or any other area I could take her to where she can let off steam while I can still try to hear some of the service, so last week, for example, I didn't hear a single reading/homily/song...really, it was silly for me to be there at all because all I did was chase a wild toddler. What would you do/what have you done? Should I look for a Church that has a crying room available and go there for the time being? Should I continue to take her each week and hope for the best, and keep going back outside as needed? Should either DH or I just stay home with her and not take her until she's a little older? (this option kind of worries me the most, because I want her to stay familiar with Church- I feel like how would she ever learn how to be in Church if we never take her)? Any ideas/advice would be appreciated.
Re: Kids in Church
I'm guessing your church doesn't have a nursery since it doesn't have a crying room? Emma goes to the nursery at our church. It's basically a babysitting service until age 2, then they start trying to teach a basic bible story and do a craft. Kids have their own church until the end of elementary school, then they start hanging around in regular service.
I'm not sure what to say, Emma would never sit still for a church service. I think it's the age. I don't think you should stay home just because of her, but I also think you need to be respectful of others in the congregation. Do you know if any churches near you have crying rooms?
We don't have a nursery in our Church unfortunately. They do offer a 'Children's Mass' during the school year, where the kids can go to a classroom in the school during the reading part of the service and hear a story and do a small craft...but it's really geared toward like ages 4 & up- DH and I took her a couple of times and the lady in charge seemed kind of annoyed that she was so young even though we kept her in check and she did behave.
There is another church about 10 mins from us that has a crying room. I've thought of going there, but I don't know how to explain to our Pastor...and then I'm wondering if I'd be expected to do weekly offerings at our Church plus the new place?
The Church my mom belongs to also does a "Children's Liturgy of the Word" within the mass where the little ones go into a room during the readings for craft time. I have seen some parents even go back with the younger ones, but I guess that defeats the purpose of you attending mass, although the children rejoin the mass after the homily.
I consider myself a Catholic nomad. I live on the same street as my neighborhood "parish" church. I hardly ever go there, because I don't like it. The pastor is way too preachy for me. If I attend church with my mom, she insists we go to her parish, which is where I grew up. We are still registered in the parish where we lived before we bought our house. I really liked that parish so when we moved, we decided to stay registered there. I still attend mass there even though it's out of the way. When I don't attend my registered church where I get envelopes, I'll put a dollar in the collection basket of the church I am at and then mail in my church envelopes to my registered church. So if you do decide to simply attend mass at another church and not register there, that is always an option for you.
This might be the jaded Catholic in me, but I am of the opinion that in this environment they need to just be happy you guys are there as a young family. If that means occasionally your toddler acts out in a developmentally appropriate way, so be it.
I always feel in those situations if you have the good grace to look embarrassed and like you are attempting to control it, people should be kind enough to cut you some slack.
ditto amy. We actually had some nuns playing with DS last time we were in church. This was possible because he decided to wander down the aisles and chose to try to sit with the nuns. I was with him but I don't even bother trying to make him sit still when he gets in one of his exploring moods.
Ais is fine. Just take her to the back or outside like you are when you have to.
Have you tried coloring books? Special snacks that she doesn't get every day? "reading" the church bulletin? Drawing on the church bulletin? Or, gasp, playing a game on your phone (muted of course)?