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Preschooler bedtime tips
I am not exaggerating when I say that Brinley hasn't gone to bed well since we've weaned from the binky 4 MONTHS AGO.
We start the bedtime routine around 7:30 with teeth brushing; going potty; books or v-reader. If we're lucky she's asleep by 9:30. I might be OK with this if she were just playing quietly in her room (which she does on occasion) or changing her clothes 100 times, again quietly until she's ready to sleep.
But many nights there is screaming/crying and constantly yelling for DH or I to come up there. If I go up, I'm happy to lay there with her as she gets sleepy, along as she's still and quiet, but the kid can't seem to shut down. She wants to be doing gymnastics and playing and more reading, ect.
This all rolls over into an awful morning filled with neither DH or I wanting to wake the sleeping dragon, but we have to to get her ready for school. And once we do it is a battle every step of the way.
Help!
ETA: The other caveat to this situation is despite closing both bedroom doors, she still wakes Nolan up.
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Re: Preschooler bedtime tips
Although we are not binky-free, we're going through similar patches. (He did give up the binky a while back but stupidly, I did not throw them out. Eventually he came across them and is back to using one at night). For us, I think it's the nap/no nap thing. He naps at school and then has plenty of energy to be up until 10 p.m. at night. We often keep him from napping on the weekends and bedtime is much easier when we do because he's not so wound up.
Edited to say: sorry, just realized I don't have any tips. Just comiserating!
I think it must be the age because I can totally commiserate as well. I have tried letting Todd read quietly in his room, staying in his room, reading more books, reading fewer books, etc and he just seems totally incapable of winding down before 9:30pm. Last night he was up until 10 and this morning he said he was tired. Gee...I wonder why. :-/
At the moment we are sitting in his room with our iPhone until he is asleep. We are taking turns, but it totally sucks. If we leave, he comes out of his room every 3-5 minutes, which sucks as well. When he came out of his room at 9:40 last night I was so mad I wanted to throw something. But I was holding the iPad, so I didn't.
/rant
And ditto on the nap issue. He definitely goes to bed easier on the weekends since he won't nap for us unless he falls asleep in the car.
I think it might be the age. My dd is about the same age as yours and we have rough patches like this. It looks like she's starting up again. I try not to go into her room too many times because I think that's what she wants. When I do go in, I just tell her, "it's bed time. You need to be quiet." Things aren't as bad now that she's in her own room and doesn't have an audience (her little sister).
I do pull out the, "If you can't be quiet, there's no Caillou show tomorrow" some times. That usually works.
We have a gate across the door--so she has to stand at the gate and yell for us.
I'm not sure that napping is the issue for us because she really is tired. However when she gets tired she gets hyper.
Also--how do "get" her to just sit quietly again? On top of the sleep issues, we're having some discipline/power struggle issues because she wants everything to be on her terms. She's figured out all of our previous strategies. For instance I used to offer her two outfit choices in the morning so she'd pick one and get dressed. Now she just doens't want to get dressed regardless of the outfit. I'm really working at picking my battles, but it seems like everything is a batte.
And I'm probably making her sound like an awful kid--which she isn't. Last night at the parade she was collecting candy and giving it to kids smaller than her--which we praised her for, a lot. And often she is happy the help me with anything I ask her to do.
She's just very strong willed. However, reminding myself that I am raising a strong, independent woman of the future doesn't get her to sleep, or dressed, or into the bath without her clothes on--because you know, once she is dressed she just can't take the clothes off (case in point she's been sleeping in her clothes with her shoes on because I want to avoid that battle in addition to the bedtime battle).
We started using this behavior chart. http://lifesprinkledwithglitter.blogspot.com/2012/03/coin-chart-behavioral-finance-chart-for.html
It's different than other charts I have seen because it uses "coins". It's been working really well for use because she knows if she looses all of her coins for the day she doesn't get to watch her before bed show, and she won't get a sticker for the day.
Read through it a couple times. It seems a little complicated at first but after I broke it down it makes sense.
Yeah, the same goes for Todd. He can be incredibly sweet, kind and well-behaved. And he can also be as stubborn as his sister. Usually I can figure out what sets off his meltdowns, but if he decides not to do something you can either suffer through a tantrum as you force him to do it or wait ten minutes and see if he changes his mind...the simple tricks and charts that worked when he was two don't work anymore.
Maybe you're just starting your bedtime/wind-down routine too early. My son goes to bed between 9 and 9:30. He won't go to sleep earlier, whether he naps or not. I don't know any 3 year olds who go to sleep really early.
I say to let her play hard in the evening and wear herself out. Start the winding down around 8:30 and make your routine shorter. A 2 hr bedtime routine has got to be maddening for everyone.
We do 2 books (with a small snack), brush teeth, potty and then sit with him for under 5 minutes. It takes 20 minutes, tops. But he is truly tired and ready for bed when we start it.