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writing up a will
Do you have one? What is included - advanced medical directives, guardianship, etc.? Would you mind sharing approximate cost?
I feel like we should do this soon, but I honestly have no clue who we would pick as guardians for our kid(s). Our most responsible sibs on H's side are already listed as guardians for 2 other families. My sibs are both young (26 and 21) and I wouldn't want to burden them if something were to happen to us while they were trying to start their own lives (not sure if that's a good reason NOT to pick them, though). DH and I haven't discussed this at all yet - just trying to wrap my head around it.
We are listed on my BIL and SIL's will as guardians for their 3 girls (which they finalized about 3 weeks before he suddenly died in 2010)...so I have been thinking about it a lot now that we have a LO on the way.
My parents didn't get one until they went away for their 25th anniversary without us - I definitely don't want to wait that long!
Re: writing up a will
I did mine online and then had an attorney friend review it for correctness since we have a non family member as a co-guardian. We also had to set up a trust. Since I bought the documents online and all he had to do was review them it was less. But when I was quoted the trust really blew up the price from $500-$1500.
Guardians are so hard. Brooks' are his dad's cousin and my best friend, they will share custody, (school year/summer). If something happens and one or both of them can't take him then my cousin and his husband will become either full or co-guardian. John's dad wasn't a big fan of my best friend's status since he's not family, but he came around and has since realized family doesn't mean blood. I think he was also afraid that he would never see Brooks since my friend lives in Paris.
It's one of the biggest decisions to make, but his guardians are his god-parents in my opinion that's what godparents are, it's not just honorary.
My office does wills but not very often. I believe we charge $1,200 for them.
I think you should talk to your siblings and see what they say. I'm 27 and DH is 31 and we've yet to start our own family. When my sister asked me to take her children should anything happen, I wasn't concerned about it interrupting our plans, we have more than enough love and support to give to her children and any of our own we may have in the future. What I was concerned about was how we'd be able to financially support a larger-than-planed-for family. We asked that she and her husband take out life insurance plans so, should anything happen, we'd be able to support the children. Problem solved.
We had ours done before DS was born, and it includes living wills, guardians, etc. We paid $500, but that's because we were referred to the lawyer by our financial planner.
My parents would be his guardians, for as long as they're healthy and able. At some point I think that will switch to my sister and her husband.
We did one when I was pg with DD and its worded to include all of our future children so we dont have to update it unless we want to change the terms significantly.
Like pp, we were referred to a lawyer by our financial planner but he only charged us $200-250. His office is right downtown in philly and they keep a copy of the will in their vault, which for some geeky reason I thought was really cool.
Guardianship was tough for us too but we ended up picking my sister. She has better motherly instincts and domestic skills than I do so I know she'd be a wonderful mom and she lives close by and is very involved in DD's life so it wouldnt be one of these dramatic movies where she's shipping off to live with "Strangers". But my sister is single so we were torn on the idea that our kids would not grow up with a "father figure" but it seemed like our best option. Also, something to consider...would the guardian you choose be wise spending the money you leave them? I know my sister is very cautious and would continue our plans for college funds and setting up long term savings for the girls etc. but the lack of financial trust is what knocked a few people off our initial list.
We're just hoping that both of us dont die until the girls are much older!
#1 12.11.11
#2 10.23.13 EDD
Life insurance is what we do have - though probably not enough. My dad made me take out a $100K policy to cover my student loans when I was 22 - so not a ton for me, but definitely enough to cover what's left of my loan payments and my income. DH increased his work policy right after his brother died and we learned he had none - not that he would have qualified with his heart condition, though. But it made things tough, financially, for sure.
What is the rule for how much of a policy you take out? Perhaps we should get a financial planner, ugh. DH just always asks finance people at work for advice.
I did one prior to my surgery in 2003. It was necessary, as I owned property and was not yet married to the mister. I also have a power of attorney and an advance directive.
Now that I'm married, and we jointly own property, the will is pretty much void. However, I do need to update my power of attorney and advance directive.
We don't have kids, so I'm of no help there.
We got life insurance right before we got pg and our financial planner helped us decide what was enough. We need to do a will, so I'm glad you asked this question.
DD: 6-24-11
EDD: 9-20-14
Life Insurance Calculator - http://www.bankrate.com/calculators/insurance/life-insurance-calculator.aspx
This what I always refer my friends, family and clients to check out. As for prices shop around. We're redoing ours now and I think we're going to double it for $5 more a month.