Married Life
jebbycakes
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Long Distance Relationship
in Married Life
DH and I are trying to relocate to be closer to family and a slightly healthier job market. I just applied for a job that I have a decent shot at, but it would not pay enough to support us without DH's income. So he would have to stay while I go live with my parents until he finds something or until our lease runs out next July. Even if I don't get this one, it is likely to be the case no matter what I find.
It's not a huge deal, but I hate the idea of not living with him. I know this situation is not all that uncommon, especially today where you have to go where the jobs are. Has anyone else dealt with this and do you have any tips for making it work? TIA
Re: Long Distance Relationship
Eh, I think you really need to think about this long and hard. How many months of this would you have to do this for? I understand that a lot of couples HAVE to do it because of work or the military, but I think I'd do whatever I possibly could to stay with my husband, however I do understand the $ issue. You guys just really need to talk it over and make plans to see each other if and when you can if you go through with this.
H and I were long distance for about 4 years while he was at university (he went year round). Thankfully we were only 3+ hours apart. That last year started to create quite a strain on our relationship. We made the desision for one or both of us to move once he got a career. I ended up moving to him.
We made it work by me taking about two weekends a months to visit him. He came to visit me and his family (same city) once a month. Those weekends were spent going on dates. We talked on the phone once a day to keep connected. We also took two road trips to Florida.
Have a couple of discussions with your H on this. At least one to decide if you both would be able and willing to do this. Then another convo about guidelines for being apart. Who visits who, do you alternate turns, how often, roughly what you will do when together, how often will you talk/ text/ Skype and when. If you have a pet(s) who gets Rover? H and I had a kitten the last year of being apart. We would take turns taking care of her.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
We did this for a year+ (I was pregnant during that year and gave birth to our third). We were only 3 1/2 hours apart. He would come home for the weekends. It did start having negative effects after DD was born.
We did a lot of texting, Skyping, and I even started playing WoW with him at night (I despise that game because of the negative issues it created in our marriage, but it got me interacting with him in this instance).