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Parenting disagreements
DH and I are having a disagreement right now and I wanted some input on if I was asking for something that is unreasonable.
My parents are coming down tomorrow and camping in the area. Friday they want to do an outing with the kids. Probably Living Treasures Animal Park--it is probably 30-45 mnutes from our house.
DH said that Nolan is too young and should go to daycare. I really don't see a problem with him spending the day with Nana and Papa.
FWIW--my parents are only 55 and in good health. They don't drink or smoke. They are not overbearing and don't have boundry issues (ie: they will take care of my kids exactly as I tell them to and won't take liberties to let them do things or to feed them things that I wouldn't just because they're the grandparents.) They have good driving records and DH is OK with them watching the kids in general, he just doesn't want them taking Nolan anywhere.
His only reasoning is Nolan is "too young". Um...Nolan is almost 9 months old. Not 9 days old. And in terms of babies, he's a cakewalk.
I guess my main issues are
1. I don't think Nolan is too young.
2. I don't want to hurt my parent's feelings--because I DO trust them with my kids.
ETA: I also don't want to squash hubby's opinion/fears, but I just can't grasp it.
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Re: Parenting disagreements
This. Has he said what exactly his concern is? Is it that he feels your parents would be overwhelmed with 2 kids? I think I'd stand my ground on this one, if they want to spend time with both of their grandchildren for the day, I see no reason to not let them do that.
Jake - 1.15.08
Liam - 5.17.11
How time flies! Caileigh (9), Keira (6) & Eamon (3)
He thinks Nolan is too young to go anywhere with the grandparents without one of us. He is fine if my parents want to sit at home with the kids, but doesn't want them taking Nolan anywhere.
I don't see what the issue would be at all. I think it would be a perfectly fine outing for your parents and both kids.
Although, I will admit, I am far more comfortable with my parents doing things with my kids than my in-laws. (although my IL's do have boundary issues, and with them you're really only getting 1 caretaker because my FIL is the most clueless man alive.) Even at the kids' age now, there are definitely things like this that I am not crazy about them doing with my IL's. Sometimes I will look past it because I realize some of it is my issue, but sometimes if I am really not comfortable with my kids doing something, I am not going to agree to it just because I might appear to be unreasonable or "wrong" to other people.
From what I know of this scenario, my first instinct is to say, no big deal...but I also know how it feels to be the one who is not quite on board with something that appears to be a 'no big deal' situation to other people. I would talk with him more about his concerns and maybe you can get him to come around and be more comfortable with the idea.
Umm, he does realize they raised their own kids, right?? I don't really understand where he's coming from.
I would love if my parents were 55 years old and could take my DD places.
So we discussed it and he agreed that Nolan could go if my parents checked in frequently.
His reason was simply "it made him nervous". I know my DH is over protective of the kids, especially in situations where he feels like he has no control (like this one because he won't be there)--but they shouldn't have to miss out on fun things that are legitimately safe for them.
Id be more nervous about the 3 year old not 9 month! I'm glad he agreed even with stipulations.
Agreed! I just want to add that I think it's totally normal to worry about your kids when you are not around. I always worry a little when my kids go with our parents (especially when driving is involved). Not because I don't think they are capable. I just feel I won't be there to stop all bad things from happening.
I guess I've just accepted the fact that I'm not a superhero and he hasn't
I can make informed decisions, but some things are just out of my control.
Yes, I agree. You have to override your fears/concerns some times.