Relationships
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
It's always the MIL
So my DH's family has always been a source of drama. His sister was supposed to be my bridesmaid and she flaked out last minute after buying a dress and didn't even think she would be at the wedding. His mother is an alcoholic and always in and out of relationships, we found out she was being a prostitute a few months before the wedding, and his dad was in a relationship with a woman who would constantly say negative things, one time she told me I could get maternity clothes at some store, I'm not pregnant, nor was I, nor was there a reason she should have said that. Anyways DH's mother kept saying she wanted to visit for his birthday which was a couple weeks ago, she didn't even call him on his birthday, we found out from his sister that she wasn't going to come by. Then she calls DH and says she is coming that Sunday, his birthday was Thursday. I say okay and get the house ready and after work was going to cook dinner. No show. She does this realitively often. It makes me so mad and DH doesn't think there is anything wrong with this. It just makes me mad bc I grew up with an alcoholic father and know how hurtful it is when someone chooses a drink over you, and he is going through this, and I want him to move on and let her go. I know she's his mother, but how many times do I have to see the disappointment before he lets go.
Re: It's always the MIL
Adult Children of Alcoholics and Al Anon for the both of you stat. This means now.:( Sorry for your troubles.
Maybe his mother is having blackouts, memory loss or something else that is causing her to forget what she says she'd do. This all goes with the territory of being an alcoholic.
Maybe you and he are better off not inviting her anywhere anymore or invite her and make her invitation a "pending" kind of thing.
To tell you the truth, you and he are better off telling her, "Mom we love you but not your drinking. Therefore, we are cooling it with you until you get clean and sober and can prove you are clean and sober for a good long time with the help of AA and a sponsor and/or a drug and alcohol counselor. Until then, this is goodbye" and indeed make it goodbye. Stick to your guns until she cleans up her act... and if she doesn't? Most unfortunate.
Counseling for you and for him would help, too, being you and he both have a close family member who is an alcoholic. Your H is in denial. And so are you. GL.
Well said! Sound advice!