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rings at interviews?

Hi everyone, I'm new to the board and I have a question.  This subject was brought up on The Knot's community board, and I wanted to cross post it to get some more feedback because I'm honestly curious. I'm currently engaged, I moved to the area and in with my FI about 5 months ago, leaving my previous job on good terms.  We weighed many factors and decided that with the cost of living being so much better here, and the fact that my FI has a great job, he was financially able to cover us until I found a job (which wouldn't necessarily be the case where I was living), then everything I made would be gravy money for wedding/saving/etc. But with looking and applying and interviewing for these last several months, I'm still coming up empty handed. Here's the question... Do you think wearing an engagement ring to an interview is a bad idea?  It implies that yes I can commit, but that I'll be needing time off at some point, and I could be distracted by my personal life (which I try to keep separate from work as much as possible).  I do not have a huge flashy ring either, it's a solitare, just under 3/4 of a carat.  I've been volunteering information at interviews because they ask what brought me to the area, and I'm starting to wonder if this is just giving them reasons to overlook me as a candidate and I should limit it to 'moved for personal reasons' and when they ask for dates I can't work just give the dates without explaining what they are for, but airline tickets and hotels are already paid for. I'm wondering if anyone else has had any experience with this (from the employer or prospective employee side) and can offer any tips.  Thank you so much! :) 

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Re: rings at interviews?

  • I'd wear the ring but say that you moved for family reasons.

    If they ask what days you need off, I'd actually tell them the real reason.  They're probably more likely to be flexible for your wedding than a random week off.

    IUI - BFP! Baby boy born still - August 2012
    IVF - BFP - miscarriage June 2013
    FET - BFN
    FET - BFN
    Switched clinics
    IVF with PGD - three embryos created, all healthy - July 2014
    FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
    Baby Boy born July 2015

  • Someone at my job was engaged at the time of her interview - wedding six months later. She's taking three weeks unpaid and they don't care.

    Also if you get hired and then start wearing your ring to work, they might wonder why you felt the need to hide it and perhaps even wonder what else you may be hiding.

  • Being engaged and married is normal in our society. Employers know and somewhat expect that their employees will have life changes. You should wear your ring.
  • I just started my new job and every interview I went to I was up front. My wedding is in a few months. Luckily I was hired at my dream job and started off with three weeks vacation time. I would just be up front. My employer told me if a company cares that you may need off for a honeymoon or wedding you don't want to work there (: hope this help! 
  • imageMommyLiberty5013:
    Being engaged and married is normal in our society. Employers know and somewhat expect that their employees will have life changes. You should wear your ring.

     This!

    And I wouldn't volunteer unnecessary details during an interview. "family reasons" should cover it.

     

  • Interviewers only ask questions like "What brings you to the area?" or "Tell me about yourself" because msot people spill info that is otherwise illegal to straight out ask about.  So like everyone else, family reasons, or some other generic answer is better than spilling all the info. 
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • I had 2 job interviews after I got engaged and nobody commented on my ring.  through some questions it came out that I'm engaged.  I got one of the jobs but it was only seasonal.  when I interviewed for the job I'm in right now I flat out said "I just wanted to let you know that if I'm offered this job I already have vacation plans for my honeymoon in October."  they were fine with it and congratulated me on being engaged. 

     I say wear the ring and if you are offered the job, let them know about your honeymoon plans.

    Daisypath Anniversary tickersimage
  • I'd definitely wear the ring. I wore mine, wasn't a problem at all. Like others said, when they ask why you moved just say a family reason and say you are really loving the area, blah blah blah (gets them off the topic and sees your excitement for the area). Regarding time off, I've never been asked that in an interview. That was something I would bring up when they go to offer you the position. When you are offered the position you can accept but let them know that you need those dates for your wedding. A good employer will be understanding.
  • I wore my ring to my interview 2 years ago and even talked about my wedding (I wanted to make sure they knew upfront I would need time off around that day)  and still landed the job. 

    Depending on the type of company they may not want to hire someone who is getting ready to start a family so I think you should research the company and make your decision based on that. The company I work for is a medium sized family owned and operated company.

  • I had a prof actually suggest not wearing a ring to your interview, didn't matter to me when I interviewed for my job I wasn't engaged yet, however, I was closing on my house the week after I started and I needed the day off - I had originally mentioned this to my boss in my first interview and she gave it to me as a paid personal day. If a company thinks your the right fit into there organization than it won't matter at the end of the day, my boss knew I would be getting engaged soon, as I had bought a house with my now husband, just the way she jokes now about me being preggers within 6 months...
    Anniversary Vacation
  • First off, NEVER say you need time off on an interview.  Only say you need time off after you received a job offer.  

    I'd say wear the ring.  Like other posters said, if they ask you questions like "tell me about yourself", or "why did you move to the area", just give them simple generic answers.  They don't need to know your personal life.  
    Married April 27th 2012
  • I regularly sit on interview panels at my office, and we have a guideline chart of questions we are not allowed to ask, which includes relationship status and family questions. We actually aren't even allowed to ask what brought people to the area. We are also not allowed to take into account if a person is wearing an engagement ring during deliberations over candidates.

    I know not every office has these guidelines, but I recommend what everyone else has said. Wear your ring, don't bring up your engagement, and definitely do not bring up that you need time off for a wedding. If you impress them, they won't begrudge you taking off time to get married. 

  • Hi,

    As everyone  else I will also suggest you to wear your ring but do not talk about your wedding or time off.

    As a hr officer I can tell you that. When i was engaged I also had a hard time getting a job it should not be that way but it is, if you keep going on about moving there with your FI and getting maried etc etc it will seem like you won't be able to do a good job because you are very busy with your personal stuff, believe me that people take those things in account when deciding who to hire.

    But again it depends on so many things like,what industry it is etc etc.

    But if you are the person they are looking for they will hire you, I was hired for my job being 8 months pregnant.

    Just make a good first impression! 

  • I started a new job 3.5months before my wedding and they asked if I had anything planned that would need special consideration when scheduling and I told them I was getting married and I would like 3days before and 3after off that was not a problem.....I am also a nurse and work 12hr shifts so I did not even need to take any vacation my schedule just worked out that way it was very nice...we will be taking a real honeymoon later this winter.
  • I have heard mixed opinions about this FROM employers. To some extent, it depends what industry you work in. Some employers would rather you be up-front and tell them, but be aware that they are thinking about you long-term. A wedding is a one-time deal, and most are ok with that. However, weddings are also associated with babies - a life-long commitment for both you AND your work. When you need time off to go to prenatal check-ups, ultrasounds, etc. you'll be asking for time off. Not to mention maternity leave. Plus, once the baby is born, you'll also take time off whenever the baby is sick.

    I know that it may not be your plan to have a baby right away, but an employer could still see it as a potential negative. 

    Just weigh your options and know that every employer is different, and are looking for different things. I got laid off a month and a half before my wedding. In the time before the wedding, I didn't wear my engagement ring to interviews, and none of my potential employers asked if I would need time off (so I didn't need to explain about the honeymoon). However, I also didn't land a job.

    After the wedding, I did wear my engagement to a job fair, and was promptly hired (I started work two days after returning from my honeymoon). 

  • Employers appreciate honesty.  I was engaged when I interviewed for my current job.  You can create stability in your interview, when they ask you about yourself, you can say that you are engaged and that youre ready to start your career and settle down.  I was upfront right away about when my wedding was and they didn't even ask till after I was hired what kind of time off I would need.  It was actually a really pleasent experience.  And honestly if you think the employer has a problem with it, or if it seems like they have attitude about it when you bring it up, it might not be someone you want to be working for anyway.
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