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Petty or not?
My MIL offered to buy my H and I a crib for our newborn. I picked out a crib and changing table, but there's no matching dresser. Since then, my MIL indicated she's going to buy us a whole new bedroom set, including "the 5 drawer matching dresser." Am I being petty if I want to sign off on the new dresser? I am nervous it will be a 5 foot tall one, which the baby will have trouble getting into for the first 10 years of his life. I admit, also, that if she's going to spend a lot of money on it, I would prefer to pick out the dresser myself - particularly if there isn't one in the same style - even though I was only going to use a hand-me-down to begin with.
If it was just my MIL buying it, my H and I would tell her not to worry about spending so much money; but she's recently recruited my parents in order to split the cost. Since the split-cost isn't unfeasible for either set of future GPs and my parents have agreed, I'm more excited to accept. But I'm feeling a bit like an ahole thinking I'm looking a gifthorse in the mouth by wanting to have a little more say over the dresser.
So am I being an ahole? Or am I ok to just ask MIL what dresser she found?
Re: Petty or not?
Ummm...yaaaa. You're being a total ahole. Your mil is offering to buy you an ENTIRE set!?! Say Thank-You and do not say another word!
You have the choice to decorate the room how you and dh wish. Let the family do this one thing. Keep in mind it's not all about you. It's about dh and the baby too!
Mix and match -- it makes the room all the more eclectic and interesting.:)
YOu're making a big to do over nothing at all.
In a couple of years, or 5 you may want an entirely new set up and furniture for the kiddo's room. Keep an open mind -- you may not be crazy abou tis furniture by then.
Not part of your question, but rethink the changing table, and get a dresser and chest of drawers your LO can grow into. Changing tables are a disposable item of furniture, IMO, and you get simply get a topper for the dresser for changing that can be taken off later.
I think you should have a say in the furniture going in your home, even a gift, but there is a nice way of approaching it, i.e. "Hey MIL, wanna go furniture shopping? There's some things I've seen online that I want to check out in person."
it wouldn't be my style to ask, but if it's bothering you that much, i'd say find a NICE way to go about it. it's allllll about the approach.
Maybe you can send her some links to some models of furniture online and just say "this is the style I had in mind". That way they still can feel like they are picking it out for you, but they aren't shooting in the dark as to what your preferences are. Don't forget, I'm sure they do WANT you to like it.
Just responding to some of the inquiries above: I picked out the crib myself. It's a convertible, so I don't anticipate replacing it before the baby turns 18, unless it gets busted - although, of course, things happen and plans change.
I actually like the dresser. It's not as tall as I was thinking, and having a drawer or two high up might be handy for storing things I don't want the young version of our son to reach. I've discovered, though, that it doesn't come in the same finish. My MIL could order it off a different website, but it would be more expensive and no free shipping. I emailed her an alternative that I thought would be cheaper. Hopefully, I didn't come off as interfering too much.
Problem solved! My MIL wasn't bothered at all and we found a SUPER DRESSER that will go perfectly.
Thanks for the feedback, all!