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Need to get this out
Let me preface this by saying that I love my husband. He's a great provider, emotionally supportive, loyal and he will make a great father to our children. He doesn't judge me when one day I say I'm dieting, and the next day I want cake. He pays all the bills and doesn't make any comments when I spend my money on weird things.
So now that I got that out of the way, the thing that bothers me about our marriage, is that I don't find my husband sexually appealing. At all. "Sexy" is not an adjective anyone could ever use for my husband. My girlfriends all agree with me. He's the nice guy, the comfortable, kind, caring guy who can fix your computer. I've never looked at him and was like OMG I need some of that! I mean, we have sex, and it's enjoyable, but it's also awkward sometimes. He has no confidence. He's get all nervous and stumbles over his words his hands shake sometimes. And it just makes everything feel... weird. He has no problems with confidence around his friends, or at work, or with me any time we aren't in the bedroom.
He'll be around the house and he'll like, shake his butt at me and ask me "do you think I'm sexy?" I don't even know how to respond to that. Do I lie to try and boost his confidence? Do I tell him the truth that no, I don't really? I usually just laugh and roll my eyes.
We don't have sex that often, maybe 2-3 times a month. And it's usually because I want to have sex, not that he's really done anything to turn me on. And I'm usually the one to initiate it. When I ask him about it, he will say "well, you always turn me down so I stopped trying." Which is total BS because his idea of trying to initiate sex is him saying "hey, we should go upstairs *wink wink* when I'm in the middle of cooking dinner, or we're about to head out the door to go somewhere. And sometimes he's kidding, and sometimes he's not. And we've talked about that, and he says that most of the time he is kidding because the time which he asks he knows we can't. So other than that he doesn't try to initiate anything at all.
And then there's the whole issue that I have to get up at 5am to go to work. I need sleep or I can't do my job. So I don't really want to stay up late
He just got up and is going to come downstairs any minute, so that will have to be enough vent for now.
Re: Need to get this out