Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Just throwing this out there
I realize I just did a silly poll with the golf thing, but I think this one is a little more debatable. 
If you don't feel like reading my lengthy explaination, just answer the bolded question, haha.
DH chews tobacco (I'm not a fan, but I can't do anything about it - other than hope he'll decide on his own to quit one day). Like I mentioned in that previous post, we are on month 6 of trying. (I know that's not that long in the grand scheme of things.)
What is your opinion on the effect of tobacco & men regarding the chance of getting pregnant?
When I met with my doctor back before we starting trying, she said that there are a few studies out there that say it can effect things. And if we try for 6 months to have him come in for some testing, since that could be a strike against him.
Of course, being male, he got all defensive when that came up.. because he doesn't see how it can effect anything. His argument is "Guys that do more harmful drugs can get girls pregnant, this shouldn't have anything to do with it." Plus, he doesn't like that he would be going in for testing before me.
Anyways, we came to the agreement that we would give it until the end of the year (so about 9 months) and then he would get checked out.
I'm just curious what your opinions are..
TTC since March 2012
BFP 3/14/13!!!
U/S 4/15: Identical twins!
Lost my angel boys at 10.5 weeks
My Chart***My TTC blog
Re: Just throwing this out there
My DH Chew's as well...I agree gross.
That being said, we have have two children and he didn't cut back at all on his tobacco use. I know that my doctor suggested that we try a year and if we had no luck to contact them about further testing if we were interested. I truly think that if you are trying to hard it's never going to happen. We tried really solid for about 3 months and then decided in May to just relax on it a bit and that's when I found out that I was pregnant. I truly think that it will happen when it's meant to happen. I know a lot of people quit drinking and everything when they are trying. DH and I just lived our lives as normal and waited to see what happened.
Your doctor is right, there are studies that indicate tobacco chewing could have an effect on sperm. Whether your H could possibly be effected by this won't be known until he gets tested. Since it is a medical possibility, it seems very immature of him to balk at the idea of it and even worse that he automatically assumes if there are fertility issues, they are the woman's. I would be quite upset if H had that attitude and we were in that position. It's not like anyone is saying he's doing it on purpose, so why be defensive.
Is he definitely 100% on board with having a baby right now?
He is on board. I think his issue comes from me giving him a hard time about chewing. I tend to go in phases where I bring it up alot.. I did a few months ago, when it seemed like every other day someone was being diagnosed with cancer. And I can't help but think of him. I would bring up quitting, but obviously it doesn't work that way and he gets upset. I know the best thing is just to let it go & hope he'll decide on his own, but it's still hard on me sometimes.
That being said, I think he thinks its just a way for me to scare him into quitting. Even though that's not the case! I told him a doctor will rarely to fertility testing before a year of trying (unless there are other issues), and if she's willing to test him at the 6 month mark he should take advantage of it. I would want to know if I were him!
TTC since March 2012
BFP 3/14/13!!!
U/S 4/15: Identical twins!
Lost my angel boys at 10.5 weeks
My Chart***My TTC blog
Ky, I hope your H sees the light an gives it up. I really do.
To answer your question I think many things can positively or negatively affect getting pregnant.
A story for you if you care to read:
H smoked since he was in middle school (he had a bad influence friend). I hated it and let him know it but I still loved him (and smoking was apart of him). I never forced him to stop but told him I would support him if he ever tried. He tried unsuccessfully so many times. Then one sunny day, unusually beautiful, with cool temps and a nice breeze he bought a new pack of cigs before heading home. Had one on the porch when he arrived home then went inside and fell asleep on the couch. He slept from that moment on, all through the night. The next day he took his pack of cigs with him to work. He came home and showed me the pack all excited. Only the one from the day before was missing. He has not smoked a single cigarette since that day! He continued to take the pack with him. Every day he went without a craving or having one he was more excited. Neither of us know how or why he just quite like he did. Now he hates the smell of cigarette smoke. We still have that pack of cigs in a drawer untouched.
That's an awesome story! My DH smoked too when we got together. I hated it as well, but like everyone said, it's just part of them. He did try to quit early on in our relationship, but he was unsuccessful. About 2 years ago, him and a buddy decided they were going to quit smoking. He quit smoking and and maybe has had 1 or 2 cigarettes in the past 2 years.
TTC since June 2012
That is an awesome story erollis! Not gonna lie - it brought tears to my eyes. I keep praying that he will go through something like that. Not to mention that he carried them around & still has them! That's major will-power!
Athlete - glad to hear that about your husband too!
DH's best friend chews - they have since high school. Some nights he'll stop by just 'for a chew' with DH. He doesn't do it as much as DH, but they don't help each other. At one point DH switched to pouches - which I guess aren't as bad & kinda a step towards quitting. One afternoon we were going out with this friend & DH bought the real stuff. When I asked him why he said he can't let his friend know he's doing pouches. Funny thing was - it got brought up, and his friend did the same thing!!! He hasn't done the pouches since. I keep telling DH that they would be great motivators for each other, because they both 'know' they should quit.
TTC since March 2012
BFP 3/14/13!!!
U/S 4/15: Identical twins!
Lost my angel boys at 10.5 weeks
My Chart***My TTC blog
I'm not sure about the effects of tobacco on male sperm, but if your doctor says there are studies that show it can affect things, then I would believe that. Also, it's easier for guys to get tested first since their testing is less invasive. All they have to do is "discharge" into a container, so it only makes sense for any possible fertility issues to be ruled out with the male first.
That being said, I would give it at least a year of trying before going in for any testing. It can take a healthy couple up to a year to get pregnant. Are you charting your bbt to make sure you are ovulating? I was lurking on the TTGP board and we got pregnant on my 2nd month of charting. It really helped to know what my body was doing. I know people say "relax and it will happen" (no offense), but it doesn't hurt to be proactive especially if you're actively TTC. Using OPKs help too so you know when you're gearing to O and can maximize your chances each cycle.
Hope your husband decides to quit soon and goodluck to you!
Thanks ladies. *hugs*
It does sound like they would be a great support each other if they decided to quit. Part of quitting is mental and if he sees that he can go without (and his friend can too) it will make it much easier on them both. Maybe getting tested will be his wake up call or actually having a child.
Yup - I'm charting & using OPKs. Starting using OPKs even before we were trying, because someone at work suggested it, just to get an idea of what your body is doing. And then I started charting on the 3rd month. I also lurked on the TTGP board.. I had never heard about temping before that!
TTC since March 2012
BFP 3/14/13!!!
U/S 4/15: Identical twins!
Lost my angel boys at 10.5 weeks
My Chart***My TTC blog