The one thing I can't do is the one thing he wishes I would....

jvdavisbaby · August 2012

This is my first time on this board, Im a regular on TheBump as my husband and I are expecting in Dec. Asking advice on this topic is really hard for me because it's a little embarassing but Im at a loss and the bump doesn't seem like the right place for this.

We have bee together for 3 years and we have what I think is a normal sex life. But the one thing I have never ever done (with anyone ever) is oral sex. Its not that I don't want to by any means because I know how much he would love it, I just get freaked out when his penis is near my face. I don't have a problem at all with regular sex but when he asks me to try oral I can't do it. I feel like a failure and I don't know how to get over this I want to be able to do it no problem for him but I can't seem to do it. He says its ok and he still loves me anyways but I still feel like a big failure.

Has anyone else struggled with this before? How do you get over it? Please help

PurrBox · August 2012

Sounds like you're putting too much pressure on yourself. I think you should hang out in the bedroom for a little while and just explore his body on your own terms. Let him know that you're not trying to give him an orgasm; your just testing the waters. Have him lay down on his back and just check it out down there, kissing and whatever else you feel comfortable doing.

If you don't feel comfortable doing that, maybe you could try the above with him wearing a condom. Also, if you end up giving him oral, you don't have to let him come inside of you. Tell him to give you a heads up if he's getting close and then 'friendly handshake' the rest.

jvdavisbaby · August 2012

PurrBox:
Sounds like you're putting too much pressure on yourself. I think you should hang out in the bedroom for a little while and just explore his body on your own terms. Let him know that you're not trying to give him an orgasm; your just testing the waters. Have him lay down on his back and just check it out down there, kissing and whatever else you feel comfortable doing.
If you don't feel comfortable doing that, maybe you could try the above with him wearing a condom. Also, if you end up giving him oral, you don't have to let him come inside of you. Tell him to give you a heads up if he's getting close and then 'friendly handshake' the rest.

I've done this and when I do its almost like he expects me to go all the way ya know... I haven't tried it with a condom but I will next time. I know when I do explore he goes nuts and then I feel like I have to do it and when I chicken out he gets way disappointed (not that I blame him) but he gets over it eventually. I almost think that I want to do this more for me than him so I can get over this fear, if that makes sense....

Joy2611 · August 2012

What exactly are you afraid of? Can you describe it in words?

My husband and I were together for years before I gave him a blow job start to finish. I was worried of a few things. One - I'd be inadequate at it. Two - I didn't want him to finish in my mouth.

To avoid this, I would do it just a little and then we'd have sex. It was nice and easy foreplay where I didn't have to worry about either of my two concerns. You could try this as a way to get used to the idea. No pressure - just a few minutes and then switch to something you're comfortable with.

I can't say why I stared doing them completely. One day, I just realized I never had for him (oddly, I'd done it for other guys!). I decided to put my fears to rest and just do it. He freaking loved it and graciously tells me before he finishes. It's a win-win. I do it often now because sometimes I'm just not in the mood for sex. I'm glad I just went for it one day!

JemmaWRX · August 2012

Yeah I don't like it when he blows his load in my mouth, it's just gross to me. So I give him head as foreplay, before we have sex. It works for both of us because oral makes both of us too horny to not have sex. Anyway, OP, do you think he'd be ok with this instead of giving him oral through to completion? If not, I don't think it's too unreasonable to ask that he give you a heads up before he's about to ejaculate and just jerk him off the rest of the way. Maybe to meet him halfway, you can let him ejaculate on your face with your mouth open (a la the "money shot") so you don't have to take the whole load in your mouth. By the way, sorry for the graphic terminology... I can't think of better ways to put this stuff!

lindsaynewbride10 · August 2012

PurrBox:

Sounds like you're putting too much pressure on yourself. I think you should hang out in the bedroom for a little while and just explore his body on your own terms. Let him know that you're not trying to give him an orgasm; your just testing the waters. Have him lay down on his back and just check it out down there, kissing and whatever else you feel comfortable doing.

If you don't feel comfortable doing that, maybe you could try the above with him wearing a condom. Also, if you end up giving him oral, you don't have to let him come inside of you. Tell him to give you a heads up if he's getting close and then 'friendly handshake' the rest.

DON'T forget to have him wear a FLAVORED condom if you want to try it like that, first and foremost.

shannon5176 · August 2012

I'm curious if you can explain what it is that bothers you about it too.....

For me, I have no issue giving oral as foreplay but I do have issues with finishing in my mouth and will not do it. For me the taste of the pre-ejaculate truely makes me gag and to actually have a man fully finish in my mouth.....well I gag just thinking about it and am literally afraid I would vomit at the taste/consistency.

If your issue is similar to mine just use it as a foreplay.

Also, make sure you are both freshly showered.....maybe even take a shower together, wash him, and then give him oral in the shower.....????? Do you think that would help?

FLANYTATOOGURL · August 2012

You better start blowing him or he will eventually start getting it from someone rlse! I thought this was hoing to be about something that is considered gross like anal or some wierd fetish stuff.

purplepeanut6 · August 2012

shannon5176:
I'm curious if you can explain what it is that bothers you about it too.....

For me, I have no issue giving oral as foreplay but I do have issues with finishing in my mouth and will not do it. For me the taste of the pre-ejaculate truely makes me gag and to actually have a man fully finish in my mouth.....well I gag just thinking about it and am literally afraid I would vomit at the taste/consistency.

If your issue is similar to mine just use it as a foreplay.

Also, make sure you are both freshly showered.....maybe even take a shower together, wash him, and then give him oral in the shower.....????? Do you think that would help?

this.

theroadahead · August 2012

FLANYTATOOGURL:
You better start blowing him or he will eventually start getting it from someone rlse! I thought this was hoing to be about something that is considered gross like anal or some wierd fetish stuff.

REALLY?! REAL men don't cheat on their wives because they aren't giving them blow jobs. Are you serious right now?!