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cmg19456 · August 2012

cari2007 · September 2012

bluejay73:
Well, you aren't alone in this. A lot of things can effect libido: obviously self-image, stress, change, diet, exercise, relationship issues, hormones, etc. Weddings are stressful, so is changing your life (*cough* getting married). First of all, cut yourself a break- admit that this is a difficult time! Second, congratulate yourself daily in the mirror- it sounds like you have a lot to be proud of- weight loss, snagging a stellar man, kicking butt as a wife. Now be objective: Have you had Any desires sexually in the last week, month, year etc- identify the last twinge of yearning you remember (it's ok if it's been awhile). Since then, has anything changed (even small things like diet or sleeping style)? If you can, separate yourself from the anxiety that surrounds this topic. It is unlikely that you are going to 'break' your relationship with your man- he loves you right? Your libido isn't broken- that's not the way it works. Work at this issue from a detective's pov- and maybe the disconnect between the sheets is a multifold problem (it's ok to be complicated). Take a deep breath- maybe there is a quasi-quick fix (a doc's visit= anti-depress meds) but most likely the lack luster anti-sexytime is just a symptom of anxiety (could be body images- to which I say: deciding to love one little part of yourself every day or to look in the mirror and try to envision what he sees). If your emotions are effecting his advances (makes sense) you have to be there for him, reach out to him, show him every day how you love on him! And know, how you feel about yourself is connected to how you feel about him. You are connected! It hurts to be rejected by our partner - even if it isn't intended. Talk with him more openly saying "I feel (an actual feeling word like frustrated, anxious, embarassed, depressed, weak, lonely, etc) when we start to get sexy (or however you describe his loving advances)" Keep saying the I feel statements until you coudn't possibly have another feeling in your body! Include how you feel about him- his body- his presence in your life. And if you've a.) investigated your own patterns b.) attempted to resolve internal issues like loving your own skin and c.) bared your naked soul into 'I feel' statements with your hubby and you Still can't find some oomph in your tralala, call a therapist- preferably a couple's specialist. There are very few things in this world that are unfixable- especially when you have somebody who's got your back. (and wanting a piece of your backside!) Good luck.

I think this is all great advice! Sometimes, guys just don't "get" us. Congratulations on the weight loss and your wedding!

As sexy as I'm sure you are (and I'm sure your man sees you this way), we all have something that we don't feel awesome about. Even when I'm feeling down on my body, something I do is wear satin or silk. It's a simple thing, and it might not always work, but it does more often than not. These fabrics just feel sensual and have a way of creating a mood. Depending on your body type, pick actual pjs, a nightshirt, a sleeveless nightgown, or a shorts set. This works for me when I'm feeling down on myself. The reality is, I'm sure your man still thinks you're sexy and wants you; it YOU who need to see how sexy you are. Hope this helps!

jhaley3077 · September 2012

OP; I am in the same boat you are. I have been married for 6 months and 3 yrs ago when I met my DH I was a lot bigger than I am now. I lost over 100 pounds and felt great. Lately I have gained a few pounds back and have been having the same issues with my body that I had when I was bigger (so I know how you feel). Every day I wake up and tell myself how great I look and how much I have done to make me look good. Somedays it works and some days it don't. But the first step is loving yourself no matter what. Good luck.

I know all this advice was for OP, but I found it very helpful for me as well. Thanks ladies

bewilderingstar · September 2012

There's a lot of sexy lingerie that can cover up areas that you may not like. You can wear that, get all dolled up, throw a pair of heels on (men love it for some reason) and entice him. Tease him and tell him what you want. He will eat it up and then ravage you. It'll make you feel a ton better when he tells you how beautiful you are and how hot you are. It works. Trust me!!

Unknown · September 2012

i feel like there is no right answer. im in same boat and cant figure it out and somehow in denial that it just isnt that great with him in that subject. : (

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