Relationships
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Husband lied to me and now I feel like I can't trust him.
My husband decided he was going to "rat the streets". His exact words were "I"m gonna go bring this guy his shoes and hang out for a little bit. I will only be 30 mins." He knew I had night class so I was supposed to be out for hours. Well my babysitter fell through so I had to stay home. After about an hr, I just happened to try and get on fb and found a message from him to some girl saying "on my way" that was sent 45 mins before. I know he isn't cheating but y would he lie. So I txt him "Where r u". He replied "Walmart". I said "What r u doing at Walmart" He replied "Drinks" and asked me y I wasnt in school. I explained about the babysitter. Then I asked him y did he lie to me about where he was going and how long he was going to take. He replied "thought u would be in school" Then I asked him about the girl on fb and he said that was who he took to walmart and her mother too. I feel betrayed. Doesnt matter what he was doing. He lied to me. His explanation is that he didnt want to tell me cuz he wasnt sure how i would react. He basically is turning it on me and saying he lied to me because of how I act and treat him. I dont know how to forgive him and how he could blame him lying on me.
Re: Husband lied to me and now I feel like I can't trust him.
I would feel betrayed too. I mean who is this girl and why is he trying to keep it a secret? It matters that he is lying to you but I also think it matters what he was doing behind your back.
He also shouldn't be turning this around on you- I hate when people do that and i know how that feels! I think you two should def. sit down and talk about it seriously. You two should lay out expectations of what is okay and not okay.
I call bullsh*t. Unless ofcourse he has mentioned her before. Usually a wife knows about important friendships like that. Is this the first time you have heard about her?
Such close friends that you never ever heard of them until....now????
Something is weird here.
Your H is not dependable. I'd read him the riot act on this --- it's a character thing and he hasn't got much character judging from what you've told us.
I never buy the, "I had to lie because you're so mean to me." line. It just makes me think the guy is a spineless weasel.
I mean, seriously, me being angry is just soooo scary you don't have the balls to handle it. If I'm being unreasonably vile then give me a kick up the ass for being a shrew, don't get all whiney about it and blame me for your lies. And if I'm justified in my anger then face up to the music.
Sounds very scuzzy. And why should you have to hire a babysitter when your husband isn't working and can take care of the kid(s) like, I dunno, a father should be capable of doing?
Bottom line- he's lying to you and probably cheating on you. Do you really want to share your life with someone like that?
He sounds like a great catch.
And i"m not sure why you say you know he isn't cheating. i'd say all signs point to "go" on this one....
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
If he's not the father and OP married someone who won't parent her child(ren), he's a slimeball and she's a fool for thinking that's acceptable for her or her kid(s). If he IS the father yet doesn't act like one, same thing. OP, what's the deal? I'm not trying to be mean here, but sometimes people need a wake-up call. This can be yours.
And don't forget the lying. And the probable cheating. This really isn't a good package.
Dup
Team kuus. I'm trying to figure out what here wlild
Make a person think he isn't cheating and I've got nothing.
I agree with this.
It's NEVER a good sign when a guy lies about a "female friend."
I'm sorry but I would never trust him. I'm sorry you are going through this.
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As his wife you should already know who is close friends are especially if they are a female and if they are indeed close friends. Like most women said, that fact that he just throws it back on you is a red flag. Don't fall for it, because that will be his excuse every-time he lies to you. My advice, inbox her on Facebook or see if he will let the two of you meet. Good Luck!