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Not a normal sil?
My sister in law is a lesbian and she told us that she is going to have sex with a guy (guy in her band) and make a baby. This guy likes Chinese woman and he is currently dating one but he doesn't want a Chinese baby he wants a white baby.(that's so weirdo itself)and my sil wants to reproduce some of her genes. They plan on starting in a year and half. She also had a girlfriend but yesterday we found out she got rid of her and now has a new one that she brought over to see our kids with.
My question is I don't feel comfortable having her keep bring girls around my kids and then later if it does happen(we thought a fe years ago she was told from doctors that she most likely can't have babies) a guy around with this new child who wil be there cousin. Se told us she will let him do what he wants meaning be with another woman, but she also said they might live together to raise the child. This is to primal and not right for my kids to be around. My step son is almost 10 he knows her to be a gay person and now what will I tell him and also my almost 4yeat old son .
What do until if u can understand all this.
Re: Not a normal sil?
I think she needs to find a new potential father. This guy is loopy. She also needs somebody a lot more broad minded.
I'm meh on the come and go girlfriends that she seems to have.
What are you against? that she and the father will be raising a child together and living together, minus the benefit of marriage? This now happens all the time. There are many couples who don't marry but have kids together, live together, etc.
And there are all kinds of living arrangements out there. That she's a lesbian and wants to live with the baby's father and raise the kid together? Not a shockeroo to me.
My advice:
Play this by ear.
She may change her mind about having kids, with or without this guy. This guy that she's targeted as being the father of the kiddo may be gone by then, too.
Wait and see. And if and when what she plans happens? Have an age appropriate explanation for both your kiddos. GL.
I'm just thinking she said he can continue to have his girlfriend or maybe even wife in the future and they might all one day life together. That seems so very strange to me and husband. How she thinks this is the only way she can have a baby. I thought u were a lesbian, why would u want to sleep with a man over and over again in hopes of getting knocked up. I just feel so mad for this baby if it happens. Babies r suose to be made out of two people loving one another and creating a special person from there special stuff. It just seems like she wants this baby for the wrong reasons.
Oh I forgot to tell u she also has no job due to her father death
Last year and stil
Lives with her mom and step dad. So there is no money and she is afraid to go out of the house a lot due to the death. She has a therapist come to her house. She is almost 31 years old. How is she going to raise a baby. And to top all this off, just a few months ago she tried committing suiside
I'm just thinking she said he can continue to have his girlfriend or maybe even wife in the future and they might all one day life together. That seems so very strange to me and husband. How she thinks this is the only way she can have a baby. I thought u were a lesbian, why would u want to sleep with a man over and over again in hopes of getting knocked up. I just feel so mad for this baby if it happens. Babies r suose to be made out of two people loving one another and creating a special person from there special stuff. It just seems like she wants this baby for the wrong reasons.
Oh I forgot to tell u she also has no job due to her father death
Last year and stil
Lives with her mom and step dad. So there is no money and she is afraid to go out of the house a lot due to the death. She has a therapist come to her house. She is almost 31 years old. How is she going to raise a baby. And to top all this off, just a few months ago she tried committing suicide again. Not such a good time eight now
Oh I forgot to tell u she also has no job due to her father death last year and still lives with her mom and step dad. So there is no money and she is afraid to go out of the house a lot due to the death. She has a therapist come to her house. She is almost 31 years old. How is she going to raise a baby. And to top all this off, just a few months ago she tried committing suicide again. Not such a good time eight now
Whoa....she needs intervention immediately.
So what happened to her job? She's well enough to play in a band, though, but she can't work...that's funky in itself.
This whole thing is bananas. This entire scenario is horrible; she needs intervention, not just a therapist coming to her home.
Do yourself a favor: Don't get involved in any of this mess. Chances are the baby won't even pan out; anything can happen in the meantime.
This is a can of worms and it's bound to get larger. Stay out of it.
Like PP's said, just stay out of it and see what happens. I highly doubt any of what your SIL said will happen, but if it does, all you can do is be there for her..and the baby. And I especially wouldn't worry about telling your kids anything until there is something to say. And if that time comes, just tell them that they're aunt is going to have a baby, end of story.
Not for nothing, but I am going to go with MUD.
How can you have agraphobia and be in a band at the same time?
I admit, there is a lot "wrong" w/ this picture. But.... your attitude ins't helping.
This is 2012. what defines a "family" is changing. You think only 2 people who love each other can have children? I have 2 friends in their 40's who haven't been lucky enough to find the right guy, but they both wanted children. One is now the proud mom to twins. The other is looking into her options.
The idea that they shouldnt be able to have kids becaues they aren't in love... well, wow, how shortsighted of you.
Past that - just chill out. Who knows what is really going to happen. ou're putting the cart WAY before the horse.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
i know there are lots of woman out there having children other ways. but this way is not any shape or form normal even in 2012. I don't even know what to say to her any more. she wants to hang out with our kids and she comes over with the new girlfriend and then i peak into my daughters room and they are talking to someone on the phone and ignoring my 2 year old daughter. how matture is she?
i just hope things change and she doesn't go forth and have a baby with this guy.
Quit looking for reasons to be pissed off and butt out.
But first, please explain how an agoraphobe is in a band like PP said.
Oye.
She hasn't got all her marbles.
It's their aunt and all that but wow, maybe it's better if you limied the visits. You're supposed to keep an eye on a 2 year old, not yak away into a phone and do only that.
No, she doesnt sound like a normal SIL by any means, but everyone else is right.. I wouldnt tell your kids about anything until a kid pops out. It isnt worth the drama.
If you dont feel safe that she is left with your children (IE playing on her phone instead of watching them) I'd probably limit visits.
I would let this all play out. SIL is not even pregnant yet. So, you never know.
I WOULD have limits on how many different / frequent partners / girlfriends your SIL has over. Just as if she had a revolving door of boyfriends, I wouldn't want my kids to meet every last one. And if she wants to invite her children's father along to parties, that would be fine with me - but he would not be allowed to bring girlfriends or wives. I would just say "immediate family only" which includes her and the baby-daddy, but no girlfriends from either SIL or the children's father.