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Help!! what should I do??
Should I ask my fiance's sisters to be bridesmaids? He has two sisters one sister I met once and she only said Hi to me the whole weekend.. the other sister and I have met a few times and we get along pretty well. My fiance says that I shouldn't ask them because then we will have to many people in our wedding party since we both already have 5 people. what should I do?
Re: Help!! what should I do??
Why would you ask someone to be a BM if you obviously don't know them?? You should only ask the people that are nearest and dearest to you, not someone that you barely know. Don't feel obligated to include women that don't know you from the lady down the street. Chances are, they would probably decline anyways.
An idea:
You and your FI jointly can ask them to serve as brideswomen/groomswomen.:)
They'd more or less be ushers. Have them wear a black dress of any length; they can stand with either the ladies on your side or with the guys on his side.:)
A refreshing change from asking in 2 more bridesmaids -- they may not want to even be a bridesmaid --- and heck, every lady out there has a black dress of some type.:) They woldn't even incur any extra expense if they used (or borrowed) a black dress for the day.:)
This way you'll keep everyone happy.
If they can sing or play an instrument, why not have them sing or perform a musical selection? They can do it before the processional begins. Something short and familiar like "The Lord's Prayer", "Canon in D" or "Morning Has Broken," to name a few.
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I like Tarpon's idea of including them in the wedding but not the bridal party.
You can give them corsages or have them walk in during the processional with the mothers/family/ushers.
This. Maybe ask them to do the readings?
Agree with the others. They don't need to be bridesmaids, but include them in other ways at the wedding. And I like the idea of making sure they have corsages (if you're doing flowers for other women in the family.) Have fun!
If you really wanted them to be in the wedding, they would have been included in your bridal party already. I can see where you feel bad not including them. I asked DH's sister to hand out programs. She said yes... she would love to. We bought her a corsage and thought we were all set. Reality was, she really did not want to be part of it, she had her son fill her spot handing out programs, and gave her corsage to her mother.
Point being..... your bridal party is accounted for, and they haven't complained. Let them be guests!!! GL
Don't give them wedding jobs. That's like an afterthought kind of thing.
What to do: ask them. Let them make the call on this; ask them if they'd like to be included in the wedding party: brideswomen, readers, singers/musicians (if applicable)
Or how about this: are they artsy or creative or a couple of crafty types? If so, maybe you can ask them to make something fancy for the ceremony venue --- maybe one of those monogrammed aisle runners or some type of aisle adornment (it need not be flowers; I've seen many other artsy and unique pew decorations) or fancy ceremony programs?
My DH has 2 sisters. I did not invite either of them to be my BMs. To be honest, I had better friends. I don't buy into the "but they are family....." - they are my DH's family, and he didn't invite them to be on his side, so why should I invite them on mine?
It is not YOUR job to include your fSILs if your DH hasn't thought of it. His sisters, his responsibility.
If they want to do something crafty - let them offer. I wouldn't ask anyone to do "work" for my wedding unless they volunteered. It is not an honor IMO to print up programs, decorate your wedding cake, etc.
I'd say if depends where you live and the culture in the area. I don't know how it is in Jersey, but in the South it is expected and can actually create lots of problems later on if a person is not invited or a person refuses to be in the wedding party (I had the equivalent to a court-house wedding, so didn't have to deal with that, but when SIL got married, DH declined to be in the wedding party and that caused issues). I also know that when her SIL got married (her husband's sister, let's call her SIL-SIL to avoid confusion), SIL-SIL had her 2 SILs be the matrons of honor (she asked her brother's wives)... because it was expected (along with asking her future husband's sister).
I particularly am of the thought that has been mentioned here already, that you should only ask those who are close to you and not do things because they are expected... and personally I find it a pain to be in a wedding party because of all the expense and expectations... so I'd recommend what a PP said of asking them! Good luck!
Indeed.
Start by jointly asking them "Would either of you like to be in the wedding party?" If they say no, you have your work cut out for ya.:)
Done deal.
If they say yes, pick something that will be the most cost effective for them. Performing/singing, creating something fantastic and artsy (if both are applicable) or a brideswoman/groomswoman would be your best bets.
If you're having a Catholic nuptial mass, they could even supply the wine and bread for the Eucharist. They could also bring the gifts up to the officiant to be presented.:)