January 2012 Weddings
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Vent fueled by hormones

As I've stated probably too many times this week from excitement, I made plans to attend my first kids consignment sale this Saturday.  Originally DH said he's go with me.  Shocker since I figured I'd have to bribe him.  By Tuesday he was already backing out and seemed surprised I took him seriously.  Now I didn't get my panties in a twist.  My MIL had also offered to go with me, so I just called her and set up a time to go.  

Okay, before knowing about this consignment sale I'd talked to DH about going crib shopping.  On Tuesday he said he was still up for crib shopping but not the consignment sale.  Again I was okay with this.  Now he's trying to find any and everything he can to get out of crib shopping.  He needs to do yard work - well he's been home all day today and yesterday and he'll be home all day Sunday so why does he have to do it on Saturday?  Yes, I asked him this.  He thinks it's the best day for it, and he doesn't want to have to do anything on Sunday.  He said we could go crib shopping on Sunday.  I have two tests this coming week and have already set up a study session on Sunday with another girl who lives near me.  He knows this.  I reminded him.  Ugh!!!! 

Then earlier today he texts me to say the place he's going to get our firewood for this winter isn't open on Sunday so he wants to go Saturday.  Again, he's sitting at home all day today.  WTF????  So we get to do that tomorrow.  I asked if he could do this on Saturday morning while I'm gone with MIL.  Apparently he needs me there to help him load it.  I reminded him I can't carry much at a time.  So freaking irritated.  It really seems that anything else at this point would be better than crib shopping for him.

And the house cleaning I mentioned I need to do this weekend.  Right now I'm ready to just cry from stress and anger.  Three days a week I'm gone from 7 am until 11 pm.  The other two nights a week I don't get home until at least 6:00 pm and I'm still supposed to figure out dinner, ect.  Yes I talked to him about it.  His solution, eating out all the time.  He can cook, he's just stubborn and lazy.  He's been freaking spoiled because I like to cook and usually make enough on the days I'm home to feed him while I'm gone.  We rarely fight, sure we disagree, but rarely fight.  Right now, if I was home I'd probably be spitting fireballs.  But wait he wouldn't be there because he just left to go help his mom and sister at the consignment sale.

I'm obviously crazy hormonal today.  I know that hubby is cramming tons of stuff into this weekend that he's been putting off because next Wednesday he's getting a knee scope done and he'll be out of commission for a few weeks.  I'm just angry because I'm a planner and his procrastination of the yard and firewood are "suddenly important" since he knows he won't be able to get to it until probably the end of October if not November.   But my point again is he's been home these past two days playing video games.  I don't mind that he plays the games, but doing the dishes, deciding on dinner, helping out a little would really help me out. And I can talk to him about it again, but the last time he said I was being hormonal and impossible.  Yes because I wanted him to figure out dinner instead of me doing it.  I might be hormonal but I really don't think I was being impossible

 I will add that he does do the dishes when he runs out of something like spoons or bowls.  And he does change the cat box or take the trash out.  But that's been about the extent of his house helping in the last month or two. I could use a drink right about now! 

 

Thanks for letting me vent!  Sorry it was long!

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Re: Vent fueled by hormones

  • Awh, I'm sorry Michelle. I would be very mad too. Your points are all valid. I make DH do a lot of the housework and if he's off and I'm working he is responsible for cooking as well.  

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  • Your reasons seem completely reasonable! I hope things work out for you and you find a crib! And that you and DH are able to get on the same page :)
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  • I'm sorry about how your H is acting, Michelle. I would be upset too. I hope everything gets worked out in the end.
  • This sounds like J sometimes. We actually were in couples counseling at one point. The advice we got at that time was that I could do things for him, only to the point I enjoyed it. She said I needed to say that I needed him to do certain things that I was too stressed out to do. I think you need to talk to him and tell him that certain chores are just too much for you to do, and you would like him to take over some others. Let him pick the ones so he is more likely to do it. It did work for us, and we are stronger because of it.

    As far as the sale goes, I don't know what to say. I completely understand his point of view, however, he should be making some time for you as well. I also understand your points, he does seem like he is trying somehow to get out of crib shopping. What I usually do, is say, ok then I will go pick out X myself, and you don't get an opinion if you can't find the time to go with me. He usually changes his tune, and finds a time or sucks it up. Or another suggestion would be to have him research the cribs before you get to the store, so that you only have a few to look at.

    I hope you did get everything straightened out. 

     Also, my FIL had his knee scoped less than two weeks before our wedding, and he was dancing like you wouldn't believe! 

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  • All of this would make me angry too!  I think you have some very valid points.  I hope this fight passes quickly!
  • Thanks for the support. I did talk to hubby last night. He agreed that he'd been putting off his to do list and that he needed to help out more. After the sale we did go crib shopping. Funny enough he found one at babies r us that I like even better. We also looked at dressers/changers. We didn't buy either but at least we know what we want. I'm hoping they go on sale soon.  We also looked at strollers and carseats.  Overall it was a great trip.  Hubby is doing the yard work tomorrow. I think we got things worked out. 
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  • Awesome! I am glad it all worked out!
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