Relationships
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Baby Issue
My husband LOVES kids. And he is really, really great with our nephews and niece. He would be an unbelievable dad. And truth be told if it was a perfect world for him we would have 3 kids already. We currently have no children and as time has gone by I am not sure I want kids at all. When we got married I think I wanted kids but now I wonder if I only felt that way because 'that's what you do when you grow up and get married'. Not to mention the constant pressure from his mother, co workers, other friends that have children, brothers and sister that have kids and basically every in the world asking when we are going to pop one out! Sometimes it is just too much and now I don't even have an inkling of a desire to have kids.
Is this the pressure from EVERY single person around me asking when we are going to have kids and I should just brush these feelings off? Or is this something that I need to talk about with my husband? I just fear that no kids is a deal breaker for him and I don't want to risk that.
Re: Baby Issue
Yes, this is something you definitely need to talk to your H about. Don't worry about the pressure other people are putting on you- this is a private matter between husband and wife.
And about it being a deal-breaker... Surely you two had the "kid talk" before getting married?
GL
My Blog:Through My Eyes
Do you think that you don't EVER want kids or just not right now?
How old are the two of you and how long have you been married?
I think you should first think about WHY you don't want kids and maybe make a list. Then you do need to sit down with him. Tell him that you're not sure anymore if you want kids. Share your feelings. Explain them the best you can. It's not like you lied before the marriage. People change. But the two of you definitely need to talk about this.
Yes you need to talk to him about this! You can't help that your feelings changed! It does get ridicoulous the pressure that other couples and people put on you once your married. I was getting pretty upset about it! There was this other couple that met and got married before my ex husband and i. Then they started having babies. Well, i have fertility issues. So, we couldn't have babies. By the time they had the second baby, I couldn't bare to see them anymore!
Another couple that we knew, she had the same feelings as you. She had two kids. She resented the hell out of her husband. She ended up getting divorced. He has both kids. They are adorable kids. But those two kids had no idea, that there mommy didn't want them! they have the best daddy in the world!
Hey girl,
I understand where you're coming from, but I don't understand why this issue hasn't been further discussed with your Husband. I take that back- I DO understand, but it has to be discussed.
My Husband and I have this same dilemma. I suggested that we apply to be foster parents for now, so that we may experience caregiving together. This could help him to understand why I am not 100% for having kids now, if ever. This may be something you could bring up as its a starting point.