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gaining maturity
How do you help someone do this? My younger sister, I love her, but she is so freekin? immature and lazy. I was hoping that just having a set work schedule, getting regular sleep, spending time with Ben?s family, and having chores to do around the house would help?but it?s not.
Like this past weekend she waiting until Sunday morning to do the chores I asked her to do which weren?t hard. Just small stuff like clean your room, make sure the kitchen counters are cleaned off, vacuum, mop, clean the coffee table glass (I hate the finger prints). Anyways she had from Friday to Sunday to get it done and waited until Sunday morning to start and she maybe got through half the list when BIL called her and needed help at the IL?s to get MIL?s surprise party set up so she couldn?t finish her chores.
Now the house wasn?t bad, it looked good, I didn?t freak out or anything when I got home?but it?s the responsibility. She isn?t accountable.
How do you push that without being a nag? I just want her to grow up. I truly think she has the potential but she?s not ready to believe in herself yet I don?t think.
Re: gaining maturity
This is really hard without being a nag or mothering her. Maybe just sit down and talk to her? Be appreciative of what she did do, but maybe mention how she could have done some of if Saturday and not waited...?
But honestly, if someone doesn't want to be mature/responsible/etc I don't think it'll happen. It's why I had to back off from my sister. Not saying it's related, KWIM?
I know this. She is 25 though in November and I feel like its time she starts being more mature. I hope that her living with us shows her that you can be marture but at the same time still go out partying and such. KWIM?
I can't imagine what its like to have an older sister less mature that you, I think it would drive me batty!
The Rowdy Roberts
Agree with everything that has already been said. BIL was the same way when he lived with us and it took some "talks" to get him to do stuff. I also think unless someone wants to change, its close to impossible to change them. A lot of times people just dont get it until they live on their own and have their own house/family to care for.
I think you are doing a great job by leading by example. She may seem like shes not getting it but hopefully eventually it clicks. Sometimes you simply just need some tough love.
I agree with the bolded, especially the underlined bolded. I know she's your sister and you want what's best for her, but at the same time...she's your sister. You aren't her mother, A. You can model responsible behavior, but I'm not really sure it's your place to consciously try to change her ways.
That may have come out harsher than I wanted it to. Keep in mind this is coming from a younger sister who has always been resentful of the times when her older sister tried to teach her the "right" things to do.
Obviously I don't know your sister as well as you do but from the times I've interacted with her she doesn't strike me as immature. And doesn't she work a lot? Like baby sit in the mornings and work at the clinic during the day? I wouldn't classify her as lazy. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to relax on the weekends. You gave her a timeline to finish her chores and she had every intention of doing them on time but got called away. If she hadn't done the chores at all or wasn't working I would think you had a problem but I think you might be being a little hard on her.
Also I think pretty much all of us on here are pretty mature for our ages. So maybe we hold others to a higher standard that isn't really obtainable.
The Rowdy Roberts