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Hosting a Party Gone Horribly Wrong
A girl (college drop out; very young) I know recently got pregnant and married (yes, in that order) and is struggling to make ends meet. Since she has no family in the area, and is pretty isolated, I offered to throw her a baby shower and host it at my house. After emailing me, it became clear that she has no idea how to take care of a baby (didn't even know what a fontanel was), and I'm honestly worried for the baby.
Now I'm worried because she has invited 88 people so far, and continues to invite people via word-of-mouth. I live in a cozy, two-story townhouse and will have no way to host so many people! How do I handle this?
To add to the problem:
- She started a FB invite, and since she did not add me, I cannot see who has RSVPD. She does not have a computer, and has no way of adding me to the list now.
- She asked me to send her 30 invitations to pass out at work, and has yet to do so. The RSVP date is next week, and I have to start planning for food.
- All of her texts/emails are in short hand, and after asking her multiple times to write out the entire address for invitations...I gave up and did my best.
Do I ask her to un-invite people?
Re: Hosting a Party Gone Horribly Wrong
I wouldn't uninvite people, but is outside an option? Or just having finger foods so its easier and cheaper?
My experience with these types of parties/people/fb events, is only about 1/4 actually ever show up (yea it might be that fluke time that everyone shows up so expect to deal wiht it if it happens - but not likely).
My friends bby shower had 225 people invited (via FB) with 100+ saying they were coming...well on the day of 20 people showed up.
My Blog:Through My Eyes
Not to come of snarky, but I'm wondering why you offered to throw the shower for someone you seem to be very judgmental of.
For the record, I'm a very capable mother, and I had to google fontanel. Also, while I graduated college, I also got pregnant prior to getting married. Whoops, life happens. Just wanted to throw that out there, as it seems to be a big deal to you in the case of this "girl" who I hope is also a "friend".
Plan for the worst case scenario. Borrow folding chairs. Get help moving furniture to make room. Hold it outside if your able to. Or having extra seating outside so guests can come and go as they please (not trapped in house).
Do not uninvite people as you will be a bad hostess. Just remember next time you host something for someone put a cap on the guest list.
Can you pm the person in charge of the fb invite via Facebook? If the mom can get onto fb at work she could get the names for you. Or she could log onto your computer and show you herself.
This!!! Oh and btw, fontanel is spelled fontanelle (Thank you Wikipedia!) Should have just said soft spot...
Yep. This. Although I was married when I had a baby. But my mom had me at 19 so I'm very protective of non-married procreaters.
OP, it sounds like you're judging the cr*p out of this poor girl and you shouldn't be throwing the shower at all. I know I wouldn't want someone who was thinking mean things about me throwing me a party.
ALL of these.
This is me in a nut shell. To a point
Got preg at 19. Broke up with the dad. Had my son at 20. Was on welfare for 2 months before I got a job. Dropped out of college because I couldn't afford it but yet wasn't approved for grants. Met my husband. Got my *** together (Yes all in this order) and found a love for painting and interior decorating and started up a store and business during some free time when my kids aren't home. It may not be a real career to some but I love it. Then I also joined some mommy groups, the pto, and became classroom mom for my sons class.
Just think this long explanation of my backstory wouldn't have even been explained if it wasn't for your slam against kids out of wedlock.
My kids are amazing and while I wasn't sure I knew what a fontanelle was I turned into a very loving and caring mom
You know, I honestly needed to hear this. You are totally right, and I think I let my frustration at the situation overtake what should be important: being a non-judgemental, supportive friend.
I have no problem with her getting pregnant or dropping out of college--I have no right to judge her decisions in life. There are plenty of amazing single parents, successful college dropouts, and I never meant to slam having children out of wedlock. Honestly, I just got so frustrated at the possibility of hosting 88+ people at my house that I lost sight of what is important: being a nonjudgemental, kind, supportive friend.