Family Matters
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Divorced parent seating... HELP!!
Both, his parents and mine are divorced. His have remarried and mine haven't, his try to stay civil and mine can but usually don't. At my friends wedding(my fiancees step sister), her mom and step dad and her new husband's parents sat at the same table. With our wedding there will be three moms and three dads in attendance I know that the families are usually supposed to share a table(parents) at the reception but I don't want my parents fighting or anyone including his parents and their new spouses uncomfortable? Do I sit the two mothers and their dates together and the fathers together to separate the exes or how do I handle this delicate situation... super stressed!
Re: Divorced parent seating... HELP!!
First and foremostly:
You and he together read your parents the riot act.
They are to...and ONLY for this day:
Be civil to one another
NOT rain on your parade and his.
This is their children's wedding day and the bride and groom's happiness is what matters the most.
Not petty arguments and I-really-hate-that one and blah blah blah. This is petty and middle school bs.
They need to agree to be nice to EVERYONE for that day. Yep, even to the other 2 sets of parents. It won't kill them to be nice -- whether they like it or not, ALL of them will be in one photograph together with the bride and groom.
That's right: All 3 sets of parents.
Why?
Because this is FAMILY and this is your wedding day and his.
it won't kill them to be in exactly one photo with you and with him.
That said, yes, you seat them with their escorts. Let them sit at tables in close proximity to the bride and groom.
Seat them with their friends, their cousins, whoever they wish -- get 3 different tables and seat each of the 3 at that table with their escorts.
I hope my suggestion works for you. GL and be happy.
PS: I don't know if you've considered exactly one photo with you your new H and the 3 groups of parents -- I think it is a good idea because, like I said, it is family. It won't kill them to take a 20 second photograph with the professional fotog.:)
Seat people the way it works for YOU. Our parents each (meaning my dad and SM at one table, IL's at another) "hosted" their own table at our wedding of their family and close friends. My parents are divorced, so my mom was at a different table than my dad. It wasn't a big deal.
Past that- if you know there is a possibility for drama, talk to those who you don't trust and tell them "This day is about me. Not you. I need to ask that you remember and respect that and don't cause any problems".
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
my parents had the nastiest divorce in history and my father is married to the woman that he cheated on my mom with.
that being said i sat my mom with her side of the family and my dad and his wife with his side of the family.
there doesnt have to be a 'parents table' in situations like these. sit them where they'll all be most comfortable.
i think having a talk with them about how they need to act will make them feel like idiot children. you said that they're civil. keep your mouth shut about 'youd better behave at my wedding' and instead tell them 'dad we seated you with blah blah blah' and 'mom we seated you with blah blah blah'. if they give you any issues simply tell them that this si the best plan for you and leave it at that.
She said that they 'can' be civil with each other but normally they are not, so I would think a gentle reminder about whos day it is and that all parties should be on their best behavior is in order. No need to yell at them or be mean about it - just ask them politely to put their differences aside for one day. And also putting them at separate tables, but close proximity to the bride and groom is a good idea because having them at the same table might open the possibility of some drama going down, so best to just avoid that situation altogether. One other suggestion - maybe having someone close to you, that knows both parents to intervene if, and this is a very big IF, the parents do have some sort of argument or whatever the day of - that way the bride and groom are not having to worry about or be put in the middle of it on their day. I didn't have this kind of problem with my wedding, but my MOH stepped up and took charge in dealing with little things that came up during the day so H & I would not be left dealing with it. Hopefully everyone will just put on a happy face for the sake of the happy couple. Good luck!
This. We did something like this at my niece's wedding. Not only did the divorced parties/families not get along; certain unrelated factions have philosophical bends that don't lend themselves to blending well. Hence we seated the Lesbian MIL who drinks far from her ex and the 20 year AA members. We kept my dad away from the FOG who he blames for his DD's death. We seated the pornographer FIL away from the fundamentalists and the ex. We had to keep the bride's half brother away from his dad, the bride's sister away from the gift table and the vegans away from the lambchop buffet. Seriously, I considered sitting everyone at their own little sweetheart table. But it worked.
This...My parents would not have been happy if I told them they need to sit with H's table because they are all parents (or that my Birthmom had to sit at thier table). They didnt come to my wedding to have to sit with people who are virtually strangers to them when all thier near and dear are there.
Give them all thier own tables, seat them all with people they know and like. (or at least dont have issues with)
My Blog:Through My Eyes
May 2014 November Siggy Challenge
The Griswold’s Christmas Vacation