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Should I step in? SIL issues
We live pretty close to my brother and his family. For the moment DH and I are living with my parents (he lost his job and money is tight). He is a FT student and MWF are days he doesn't go in until after he picks me up from work. My brother's wife is at my parents house a good bit. It's larger and she uses my parents' washing machine and dryer to do laundry since they don't have either yet. It's not a big issues really, I mean, it's not our house either way. Most of the time when she's there it's nice; we like seeing out niece and nephew and playing with them. But the problem is that she is a never-ending fountain of unsolicited advice.
She has advice on EVERYTHING. What I should do once we have our LO (yeah; lost job and then a month later found out we're expecting. Talk about poor timing), berating me for not letting HER tell everyone WE'RE expecting what DH should do to find work, what he should do in school, how he can improve his grades (she studied graphic design, DH is getting his masters in engineering; kind of different). I know she means well, but it's getting REALLY annoying. When I told her I was thinking of going back to work after LO is born (which she thought was a bad idea) she volunteered to watch the kid. When I told her we'd probably use the facilities at my work she kept saying that was a bad idea. It honestly seems like EVERYTHING anyone else does is a bad idea (it upsets me how she talks to my brother like he is incapable of handling any child, much less her own). Should I step in and tell her to back the eff off? I don't want to create a strain in the relationship, but it is getting pretty old.
Re: Should I step in? SIL issues
Step in? Where are you stepping? You ARE in a relationship with your SIL and if she's offering unsolitited advice than is straining your relationship, then yes, you should tell her.
And STOP talking to her about your plans, "SIL, I adore your child and how you are raising her, but I have different options and plans. Please repect that."
You don't have to be a sounding board to her opinions on job hunting, studying and parenting. You can say, "Thanks anyway, we disagree, let's drop it." And stop entertaining her just becuase she hangs out where you live. Get busy with other things. Seriously. Life is stressful enough with being PG and living with your parents, you don't need her condescending to tell you how to live, too.
Perfect advice.
Agreed. You need to flat out tell her that you and dh do not need advice. Don't be rude, because you wouldn't want to cause issues, but let her know that you guys will manage and figure things out on your own. PERIOD.
I would. We've had family try to tell us what we should do, how some of our choices are wrong, etc. I first tell them politely that DH and I are making the decisions that are best for us. If that doesn't work, I eventually tell them to mind their own business, and I do not entertain any discussions of the sort from them, or answer any questions regarding our choices.
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