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Discuss: Divorce rate higher for couples that share housework

Did anyone else read / hear about this?

http://lifeinc.today.com/_news/2012/09/30/14160923-divorce-rate-higher-for-couples-that-share-housework-study-finds?lite

By Allison Linn, TODAY

A new study is challenging the conventional wisdom that sharing household duties such as scrubbing the kitchen and toilets will reduce your odds of divorce.

But, the researchers caution, the findings are not an excuse for men or women to start shirking their chores.

Researchers used 2007-08 data on thousands of Norwegian adults to determine possible links between marriage, housework and happiness.

They found that divorce rates were actually higher for the approximately 25 percent of couples who shared housework equally than for the 71 percent couples where women did more or all of the housework.

Divorce rates also were significantly higher among the 4 percent of households in which the men did the majority of the housework, although the sample size was quite small for that group.

?The main point is that there is little to indicate that gender equality at home protects against divorce, as many people think and as is typically maintained by scholars in the field,? Thomas Hansen, a researcher with a Norwegian social research institute and one of the co-authors of the study, told TODAY in an e-mail.

Still, Hansen cautions that spouses should not take this as a sign they can throw in the dish towel ? or vacuum, dust pan and sponge.

?This should not be interpreted as a causal effect, i.e., that (equality) leads to divorce,? he wrote.

Instead, it could be an indication that the type of modern couple that shares housework equally might also have more modern views on marriage and divorce. In addition, women in those households may have more financial independence to get out of an unhappy marriage.

The full study is available here. If you don?t happen to read Norwegian, skip to page 223 for the English-language summary.

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My three sons!

Re: Discuss: Divorce rate higher for couples that share housework

  • Believe me when I say that divorce in our home would be imminent if we did not share household duties, I don't care what a study tells me!!! 
    The Blog - Parenting: Uncensored


    imageimage

    Jake - 1.15.08
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  • Ditto Emmy!  I have several friends/acquaintances that I always think that I'd be divorced if I were married to their spouse who does nothing.
  • yea, I am with Emmy on this. And I wonder how many of these wives who do all the cleaning are not working.  I think that arrangement makes the people in the couple more dependent on one another. And perhaps more willing to work on problems. Now I do think a clear agreement in responsibilities for both household and working are good for every family.  Kev may wash my dishes and do my laundry which is beyond normal gender roles but it works for us. I think it is more like correlation between the two. And not causation.
  • Ditto Emmy!  (And Amber - There are some husbands out there who's a$$ would be on the curb if they were mine.)
  • I also wondered reading that what might be going on behind those numbers. Like Amanda said, it could be that some of those women who are doing more housework don't work or work less than those who share duties. I just don't see how DH pitching in around the house more could make me less happy!
  • My husband would probably be thrown out of most of your homes. He does none of the traditional female work in our house. I do all the cooking, cleaning, dishes, laundry, etc (though I did hire a cleaning lady for the major cleaning every two weeks). But, I do none of the traditional male work, and in all honesty, I don't want Steve in my kitchen.

    However, if he weren't more than willing to do equal lifting when it comes to the kids, it would be a different story. I expect a full equal in that department. 

    imageimage
  • Ditto PP - husband doing less than his fair share is going to cause far more problems!
  • When we were both working full-time, DH and I fought a lot over household duties. My schedule was erratic and while I worked fewer days per week, I worked very long hours. I also worked every weekend. He still felt that since I had whole days off, I should still do everything. Eventually we split up chores and put DH on a schedule. The schedule forced him to do things around the house, but he would never do them early - ex. if the trash can was overflowing, he'd still wait until trash day to take it out or if the grass was super long, he'd wait until the scheduled day to cut it. 

    Now that I am a sahw, I have 99% of the household duties. There are many days where I wish he would just help out, but I have to remember that this is my job. To his credit, he will help me out if I ask and pick up around the house or do small things for me if I'm really busy. 

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  • imageMandyMilller:
    I also wondered reading that what might be going on behind those numbers. Like Amanda said, it could be that some of those women who are doing more housework don't work or work less than those who share duties. I just don't see how DH pitching in around the house more could make me less happy!
    this

    Married, September 23, 2006

     Lilypie - (mSKC)

    Lilypie - (uxBQ) 
     
  • imageMandyMilller:
    I also wondered reading that what might be going on behind those numbers. Like Amanda said, it could be that some of those women who are doing more housework don't work or work less than those who share duties. I just don't see how DH pitching in around the house more could make me less happy!

     

    THIS

    Infact housework is honestly one of our top arguments,  We are both home half the day and both work full time ( actually him sometimes less or from home)  I am constantly asking for more help- even just simple common put all the dishes from the morning IN the DISHWASHER not the SINK or unload the dishwasher if needed.  Simple- yes SO DO IT.  one less thing for me to come home and see that needs done makes me that much happier! 

    I am not even asking for 50% afterall he is a man..... and in some cases it is just better if I do the things myself ( OCD maybe a little...) But more help with house work coule only be BETTER!!!

    Married, September 23, 2006

     Lilypie - (mSKC)

    Lilypie - (uxBQ) 
     
  • Ours is a generally a traditional split of duties - I do most of the cleaning/cooking. He does all of the yardwork and any kind of home improvement stuff.  I will say "we" are redoing Brody's room to a big boy room...but, all I did was pick out the color and the stuff to decorate it.  Walt did all of the work.   There are times when Walt helps with cleaning or laundry or whatever.  So it's a pretty even split.  (Although I never help with the yard work, so maybe he should put ME out on the curb! )
  • imagewaltsgirl102503:
    Ours is a generally a traditional split of duties - I do most of the cleaning/cooking. He does all of the yardwork and any kind of home improvement stuff.  I will say "we" are redoing Brody's room to a big boy room...but, all I did was pick out the color and the stuff to decorate it.  Walt did all of the work.   There are times when Walt helps with cleaning or laundry or whatever.  So it's a pretty even split.  (Although I never help with the yard work, so maybe he should put ME out on the curb! )

    I hear you Amber. "we're" redoing the dining room. I'm going in and taking pictures of the progress of the walls and floors, and Steve's doing the labor. :) He and my dad hung all the drywall, we hired a plaster guy to make it look nice, and now he's putting in the hard wood floors. I want nothing to do with that work. 

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  • If my H did home improvement stuff I'd feel much better about doing most of the house/kids stuff, but he's pretty hands off there too. He does pay the bills and he drives (which I avoid doing if I can), so I guess he does some of the traditional male things. He'll take out the trash if I nag him ;)
  • This has been interesting reading tonight!

    My DH is extremely handy around the house and does all of the grass cutting, fixing, renovating to our den amd floors, shoveling, etc. He occassionally does a load of his work clothes laundry and he's hands-on with the kids. He's also the grill master and can change oil, brakes and rotors on my car.

    I handle the bills, all grocery/clothing shopping, majority of the cooking and cleaning, doctor visits, and car visits.

    I do admit that I get frustrated at times (mainly the winter time when there is not as much outdoor work to do, and I'm still running around on weekends shopping, cleaning, etc.), but overall, it's very important to me that my husband plays an active roll in taking care of our house and kids.

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    My three sons!

  • Since this study is out of Norway, I'm pretty sure none of it would be applicable to US households....there are too many cultural differences
    ourblackandgoldworld.blogspot.com
  • we are pretty split.  i can't remember the last time mike scrubbed a bathtub or vacuumed without me asking, but he does the dishes / cleans up the kitchen every night.  once a year when i am gone on a girls weekend, he'll clean the house from top to bottom and act like he just cured cancer.  so there's that.  

    we both like to cook, but I get home from work about 90 minutes before he does, so although he offers, i do the cooking in the spring, fall and winter.  he grills all summer long, but I do much of the prep work.   i do all of the grocery shopping, which i mostly hate, but he'll come along when he knows I am frustrated with it.  he is in charge of buying beer and wine which is nice.

     

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