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Vent about mother (long)
My mother and I are close, even though we've had a lot of ups and downs, she is like my rock. However, lately she's been doing things that have gotten under my skin. It's mostly little things, for example.. It's hard to have a normal conversation with her because she thinks the holy spirit has to do with everything, lol, and she wants everything to be her way. Even my H is annoyed with her. But recently she did something that I'm pissed about. At my wedding, my new in-laws flew in to be there, and this was the first time I met them. Sometime during the wedding, she wandered over to the in-laws/H's friends, and straight up told them that when I was younger I was kidnapped and abused. WTF?! yes, an incident happened when I was young, BUT I was not kidnapped. WHY would she tell his family and friends that behind my back the first time she met them? I didn't even find out about it until a few weeks after the wedding from my H and his friends. I also found out she was very rude to my MIL and grabbed her by the arm, and I'm guessing is jealous of her, because she tries to get reassurance that I'm not building a relationship with her. My mom doesn't know that I know, but now that I moved far away from her, she doesn't here from me as much anymore. Should I let her know that I'm aware of what she did, or drop it?
Re: Vent about mother (long)
The fact that you are questioning confronting her on this shows that you need therapy. This is not a healthy relationship between you and your mother. If I heard that my mother had done what your mother did I would have called her immediately.
You are an adult, her behavior was awful & you need to be the one to tell her. If she doesn't get called out on this she will do it everytime she gets an audience. Be prepared for her to lie or tell you she has no idea what you are talking about. Calmly tell her you aren't buying that BS.
Don't let her play the victim card, it's tantamount to emotional blackmail. If she starts in with the victim sh!t, end the conversation - "Mom, I'm trying to have an adult conversation here, for the sake of our relationship. When you're ready to discuss this, call me back."
Just nut up, be the adult (even if she acts infantile), and make your point. If it gets out of hand, completely disengage... put the onus on her, make it her responsibility to reflect on her actions and make it right.
Good luck.