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Husband+Yucky Friends+Business Venture= Oh No!
I am really at a loss on this one, and I would appreciate and advice offered:
My husband and his two friends have known each other for quite some time, but throughout the years my husband has chosen one life direction (marriage, work, etc..) and they have chosen another (jail, drugs, etc...). Despite their differences they still have one main hobby in common that keeps them close... cars.
I have managed to tolerate their friendship even though I think they are bad people and I don't like how they encourage my husband to do bad things or put him in bad situations. Until now they only see each other once in a while.
Recently my husband has been offered an investment job that just so happens to manage the shop these two guys own. This means he would be around them every day. My husband knows how I feel about this, but he thinks it is a great opportunity to make some good money. I told him I would not want our money to be a result of these guys and their work.
Am I being off-base by asking him to decline this opportunity. I feel like my reasons are justified, but I need to know if these is something I am missing.
Re: Husband+Yucky Friends+Business Venture= Oh No!
Jail and drugs???
Your H isn't too too fussy who he has as friends, is he now.
Their asses need to GO.
And your H tolerates the encouragment they give him to be in bad situations??? Wow. Your H sure has a problem.
Wondering where you got this guy.
That your H would be in a job where he'd be exposed to these guys on a daily basis is bad news in itself. I think your H should turn that job down -- no way he should be near these "friends" let alone be in a situation where his work involves him with these "Friends."
You need to tell your H to tell these "friends" to take a flying leap but I will bet you that your H sure won't. And that's rethink-him worthiness in itself.
On this point, I wouldn't give an inch.
As far as where he wants to work - I feel like that decision is more his than yours..... AS LONG AS that decision doesn't affect your overall life and security. Meaning - if this job will be paying him at least as much as he makes now or more, offers similar benefits, etc - if he wants to do it, I feel thats his choice.
But - if these factors don't exist and he'd be getting less/ no benefits or what have you, then you have more room to say "no".
He has to put you and him first (and kids...?? Do you have kids?) before his desire to "help" his firends (which I wonder if that's a part of this).
But seriously - I REALLY question his judgement if he is 1- friends w/ these guys, and then clearly 2- wants to tie up his life with them. ESPECIALLY if it involves giving them money.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
What kind of shop is this? Is it a fix all lube type place or a custom car shop? I'd be screaming NO to both of these. Putting money into a business like this is a money pit. The insurance alone makes me panicky, plus all the tools, lifts etc.
If your H wants to work around cars and manage a shop he should look around dealerships and apply. He will need to have some kind of formal training in car repair but they offer health insurance, vacation etc.
Personally I grew up in the car world and its a sucky industry. I get that he loves it and its fun but long term it really isn't.
Given their pasts, I would also be concerned whether or not any illegal activities were going on at the shop. That is obviously something your husband would not want to be involved in.
If your husband has to invest any money in the business, then it is a no for sure for me. I might be more willing to consider it if they were giving him a job where he was just working for them, no investment, just showing up to work, earning a salary. Even then, I would seriously hesitate, given that they do not seem like responsible people to work for. I wonder if he has truly thought this through.
I echo ECB and Tarpon. And really - do I have to ask why your husband has friends that are into drugs and have been to jail? Is this something that happened in the past when they were younger and now they have cleaned up their act? Or not?
Very justified. I do not blame you. My husband and I have chosen to keep people out of our life who are like that and so far it works out great.
But one thing I am not sure you understand is you don't have a yucky friend problem. You have a husband who is a grown man and is choosing these friends. They may encourage your husband to do stupid sh*t....but he lets them. Now I am not assuming he actually does anything stupid. But you show people how you are to be treated. If he remains friends with them at all then HE is giving them the opportunity to even encourage him.
Again this is just what I am gathering from your post because not once do you mention you find your husband at fault.
Well, wait....your stating that these guys are still friends with your hubby. Plus it is a business venture. So, these yucky friends...could rob the shop blind underneath your hubbys nose, and your husband would be left holding the bag.
Or...these yucky friends...could have turned a new leaf...and cleaned themselves up!
Go with your gut feeling....ICKy friends+business=HELL NO!!!!
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