Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Stopping by - hi there!
Hi ladies,
I?ve been MIA lately, but it?s been with purpose. Work and life in general have been crazy this year!!!! However, the main reason that I shied away was mostly due to a miscarriage P and I experienced at the end of April.
It began happening when I was at work, and Pete was in the middle of a surgery. I sat alone in the ultrasound waiting room for over three hours due to a mix up in communication between my doctor and the ultrasound department. With each moment, I tried to come to terms with a negative result. Even though that I felt like I knew the outcome before the nurse ever said a word, it felt like heart literally burst when she said the words.
I was hoping time would heal the wounds that someone I never met left imprinted on my heart. I thought that it would be better after the D&C, after our trip to China, after we could try again? but the pain is still there.
It?s a funny thing with pregnancy. The rule is that you wait to tell your family and friends until the end of the first trimester. Because of that, most of those closest didn?t know that we were pregnant, let alone that we had just experienced our greatest lose. When I?m in severe pain, emotionally or physically, I tend to hide. I thought the privacy would only help. Instead, the darkness continued to haunt me while those around me had no idea why I was closing myself off.
Our due date would have been one month from today and , and I am again waiting for time to heal. Perhaps after the day has passed? or not. I know that I?m not alone or even in the minority in my experience. And yes, I know that I am young. I know there are others with infertility problems or have experienced multiple miscarriages. ?It still hurts.? I scream that into my pillow several times a week.
My husband continues to remind me that there is plenty of love and joy to hang on to. His optimism is amazing. However, I wanted to share so that if any of you have wondered why I have retreated, why my excitement for anything seems dulled, it?s not you. Please be patient and know that my heart is still with you. While my outlook may be a little cloudy, I can?t wait to feel the sun again.
Thank you for letting me vent and ?preach to the choir? as I know many of you have had similar experiences.
Re: Stopping by - hi there!
Oh Mae, I am so sorry. I know that there are no words to help heal the hurt in your heart but if you need ANYTHING, please let me know.
Lots of hugs to you and Pete.
Jake - 1.15.08
Liam - 5.17.11
I'm so sorry, Mae. I pretty much did the same thing after our loss. I completely withdraw when I'm in pain emotionally or physically and it can be a hard hole to climb out of. You're in my thoughts. Time does help to heal this pain in some ways. Hang in there.
I am so sorry for your loss. If you still feel you need the support of your family and friends, go ahead and tell them. Everyone deals with loss very differently--there are no right or wrong protocols in a situation like this.
I will be keeping you in my prayers.
Oh Mae! My heart breaks for you- what you are feeling is very valid. And it will get better. You are so lucky to have Pete by your side through this, but it is not always enough. Take care of yourself, and the rest will fall into place.
Big long armed hugs to you
I am so sorry for your loss and so sad to think you have been suffering inside for so many months. Hugs to you and your hubby. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other. Hang in there my dear.
Mae, I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm glad you shared, though - I hope it helps to know that you're not alone in your feelings and experience.
*hugs* to you and Pete as you continue on your journey together.
My three sons!
Mae - there are no words to help your grief, just know that you are getting lots of hugs from your online friends here. Today is actually Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day so I'll say a special prayer for you & your angel when I light my candle tonite
http://www.october15th.com/
How time flies! Caileigh (9), Keira (6) & Eamon (3)
I had no idea that there was such a thing. What a wonderful way for my husband and I to acknowledge our loss tonight. Thank you for sharing and thank everyone for their support.