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How do I know when I'm somebody's girlfriend?
Hey All! So I'm coming out of a very long-term relationship and have been back on the dating scene for three months now. I have been going out with lots of types of guys. Some just once (not my cup of tea) and others many times. There are two guys in particular that I see often. They have each taken me out, introduced me to their friends, kissed me in front of housemates, been intimate (condoms ALWAYS), etc. They are both taking things very slow becasuse they know I am working on being happy and alone first before I commit to being someone's girlfriend again. Since I am accustomed to being in a faithful, monogamous relationship, I am feeling a little guilty for seeing two people at the same time. Is this how dating works, and I've just been out-of-the-loop so long that I don't know? Or, am I already "girlfriend-y" enough with these two guys that I should choose to be with just one? Keep in mind that neither has asked me/discussed with me about not seeing other people. Advice?
Re: How do I know when I'm somebody's girlfriend?
You can continue to date the both of them or pick one and date the one who is more or less "best suited to your needs.":) See who is the most dependable, who you get along with the best, maybe there is a more common ground with that one particular gent, who makes you laugh the most, etc.
Being somebody's girlfriend to me means you see him at least a couple of times each weekend, plus maybe one day during the week. It's also when the 2 of you decide you will date each other exclusively.:)
I enjoy reading your posts, Tarpon, and enjoy your take on my situation. Thanks!
I agree with everyone else.
Keep dating these two guys until you are ready to be exclusive. In a few months one of these guys may naturally evolve into a boyfriend/ girlfriend situation. Just keep enjoying yourself.
I think it's absolutely fine to date 2 guys at the same time AS LONG as they each know that they're not the only guy in the picture. They don't need to know each other's names, addresses or know what the other guy looks like... but they need to know they're not the only guy you're dating so that they can make an informed decision regarding whether they want to keep seeing you. Before my BF and I were official, if I found out he was seeing another girl at the same time, I'd make the decision to not stick around. You have to honestly think about how you would feel if you were in their situation.
With that being said, I'm not sure if you should be having sex with both. I'm trying not to be judgmental, but to be honest, it seems a little icky. Even with protection. Just doesn't seem right that one weekend you're having sex with guy #1, then the next weekend you're having sex with guy #2, and then back to guy #1 again and so on. I don't know, maybe I misunderstood.