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It feels like a Monday. - long and venty
I woke up to a very flat front tire. On the bright side at least it went flat over night not while I was driving. But that totally messed up my morning. I've already had to miss a ton of work lately due to DH's surgery and doctor appointments and my doctor appointments. So not super happy to miss more this morning.
I'm stressing. DH didn't get paid yesterday. It's a really long story but HR didn't communicate well between his boss and him so they put him on short term disability and sent him the paperwork but didn't explain it to DH (this is what he's saying). So he didn't complete the paperwork. (I told him to call HR when he got it in the mail!!!!!!) He's working with HR today to try and use his vacation time to get a partial paycheck. That uses up all of his time though which means he'll go unpaid in December on our actual vacation.
DH is being a PIA about the whole crib and dresser thing. I've got a coupon but even with it, BRU can be super expensive. I said under the current circumstances - a missed paycheck - maybe we should just buy something cheaper from WalMart or Target because I don't want to use all of our savings. I never realized how much of a brand name snob my DH is. I love him, but sheesh. I grew up with hand me downs so I know I don't mind so much. I've gotten clues over the years from his mom being that way, just didn't realize it carried over to him.
This has all led to me stressing on my way to work that maybe we can't afford for me to be a SAHM. Not if DH can't break with the brand name stuff. I really do have a great job. The pay is decent (he still makes way more than I do) but my benefits are way better than his. I get a lot more time off, my work pays my insurance, I have a pension plan (which is hard to get these days). I just know after daycare and my commute in gas, there won't be much of a paycheck left. Maybe $300. Which I might not have if I have to get a new car. Not sure if my current car can hold a car seat. Honestly me still working would only save us insurance money of my work paying mine versus me being on DH's insurance.
I know, I know, stop stressing. I'm a worrier by nature and I usually worry until or unless I have a clear plan in place. We have one, I'm just questioning how well it's going to work. And all the extra stuff today isn't helping my worry load. It's been 3 weeks since DH had his surgery and I'm ready to hit him over the head with his crutch. My sister was supposed to come visit this next weekend to go to the craft fair with me. She's got the stomach flu right now, so she might not be coming to visit. At least Friday is my PayDay.
I need chocolate.
Re: It feels like a Monday. - long and venty
Stop. Take a breath. For you and for Lilly.
I completely get being stressed. A flat tire would have thrown me off too.
I get the HR stuff. I end up doing the same thing with J. I was the one that filled out the insurance paperwork. I gave up trying to get J to do it himself a while ago, and I now know that is part of the Aspergers, not doing things himself. It is a little stressful, but I know that things are done right that way. I hope that it all works out, and maybe they will take some responsibility too, because they didn't explain it to him.
I don't know what to say about the crib or you being a SAHM. That is something the two of you need to talk about. Explain to him that it is going to mean taking some cutbacks on things, including brand name stuff. I can be a brand name snob sometimes on somethings, but somethings don't matter. A crib can be an important purchase, and I can see him wanting to get a brand name one, but maybe try to research saftey ratings and show him that the cheaper ones are just as good the name brand. Also if I were in your shoes, I would start buying some generic things. Give him the opportunity to try that some of the things aren't bad at all. Even go as far as saving the containers of the name brand stuff if you need to and transfer the things.
I wish you luck with all of your decisions... I just wish I could come and go to the craft fair with you.
Crib- I would talk to DH and tell him it is more important to be pratical then having the attitude of "it HAS to be name brand". I would tell him what's important is Lilly's safety and she won't know the difference between it being name brand or not name brand.
SAHM- I really don't think it makes sense for both of you to work if you can make it with only one of you working. It is very true that by the time you get done paying for daycare, which is OVERLY EXPENSIVE for babies, and gas, etc your paycheck will be gone. We are trying to plan for me being a SAHM, even though there's no baby yet. If DH stay at his current job I would have to work and with his completely opposite schedule he would be with the baby when I am at work and vice versa. If he can get into teaching I may be able to SAH. We'll know better once he has his interview on Thursday.
Thanks for the support! It really does help to get it all out. I was pretty emotional yesterday. I'm always a worrier and pregnancy seems to just make it a bit worse. Once I get started, it's hard to stop. Darn hormones.
I did talk to hubby last night about everything I was freaking out about. He actually gets three paychecks this month so if we miss one, it won't be too big of a hit. He did get something worked out with HR to get at least a partial paycheck overnighted this week. Yay!
On the crib we compromised. With the coupon at BRU it's not a terrible deal. It's a bit more than what we'd spend at Walmart or some other place but he agreed to find a dresser second hand. Originally he was wanting the matching dresser from BRU which was way more than the crib. Even with the coupon it was just way more than I wanted to spend right now.
As for the SAHM part, he agrees that it'll be tight but that we can make it work. I usually do all the grocery shopping so I've already started subbing in non-name brand stuff. Food wise he isn't too picky. And I do have to be thankful that clothing-wise he isn't either. That's more his sisters and mom. I'm trying to get into couponing now to see how much it can help. He's just going to have to cut out his Starbucks trips and eating out for lunch, maybe do it once a week instead of every day. He even brought that up. So I do feel a lot better just going over it all again.
I usually combine coupons with the sales that are happening. Usually the week that the coupons come in the paper, someone usually has that item on sale, at least around me. Also keep a close eye on those expiration dates, because they are all over the place!