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pregnancy is rough
Hi ladies. I am having a really bad day and even though we aren't on here as frequently, you are the ones I want to reach out to.
I will be 20 weeks tomorrow. I don't really look pregnant. I haven't gotten sick. My biggest problem is I get tired. I try to rest while DH is still at work so I can have a bit of energy when he gets home. Throughout the pregnancy, we have still had homemade dinners and I am doing everything that I was before. Maybe I have spoiled DH into thinking this is not as tough on me as it is.
The one thing that has been really tough is the emotions. I cry so easily. Sometimes he gets it. Sometimes he gets upset with me and wants me to stop and get control.
We ended up getting in a huge fight last night. We were up until 4 am. Not good when I had tried to head up at 9:30. We still are not really talking. I am mad at him for some issues and he is mad at me about others.
I am even more upset because today is our level 2 ultrasound. It should be a fun and exciting evening. We were going to find out the gender and then celebrate by going to dinner with both sets of parents. I don't want to do any of this now.
I hate venting all of this on here. I hate venting about DH at all. But I am just a wreck right now. I just needed to get this out. If you got this far, thanks for sticking with it.
Re: pregnancy is rough
I am so sorry, Mel! I know you and your DH will work it out soon, though. Is there any way you can talk for 15 min or so before the ultrasound and agree to disagree with each other for the rest of the evening? That way you can bot let go of the anger and enjoy this special time with your baby and your families.
I wish I could offer you advice about pregnancy, but we're not there yet. Just keep doing what you need to do to stay sane and healthy!
Hugs headed your way!
my read shelf:
I hope everything went okay today. It is always tough when you aren't feeling the best about how things are going with your husband. Some things just take time (and a lot of talking) to work themselves out.
We're not at the pregnancy stage yet, but just coming off BC and school stress has made me a bit out of wack. I hope that you get some relief from the tiredness soon!
I 100% understand. I remember when I was pregnant bawling my eyes out because DH didn't want to buy a dresser for the nursery and I did. It honestly felt like the end of the world to me. The hormones while you are pregnant (and for a while after the baby is born) are no joke. DS is 10 months old and honestly I just recently started feeling like I am getting a handle on our new life and my hormones have calmed down.
Just remember that you and your DH are going through a huge adjustment. He probably doesn't understand how tired and hormonal you are, and he is probably feeling a lot of emotions that he doesn't understand and may not even acknowledge either. Becoming a parent is one of the most life-changing, wonderful, amazing, and difficult things you do, and it can shake even the strongest of marriages. Just try to communicate with him what you are feeling, and be understanding that he is also going through a lot of changes, and you'll be fine. I think every couple goes through some growing pains during pregnancy, and definitely during the first year of a baby's life.
Another thing I've learned along the way is to not be too hard on myself. You have to be gentle on yourself-you are creating a human that takes a lot of energy!!!!! Once the baby is here don't forget to go easy on yourself and realize that you will be tired, you will cry, and you will wonder why no one ever told you how HARD being a mother is. And being a wife and mother at the same time is difficult. Just tell yourself that you are doing your best and you will eventually get in the swing of things. And always try to communicate to DH when you are struggling so he knows why you may not be yourself.
DH and I have definitely been through our share of struggles since DS came along, but it is soooo worth it and in the end I think we have come out stronger. Hang in there and feel free to vent anytime, we're here for you!!!!
Oh and please let us know if it's a boy or girl I've been dying to know!!!!!!
Just remember-when you lay eyes on that precious baby all of this tiredness and fighting and anything else will all fade away and you will be hopelessly in love and nothing else will matter :-)
oh and also-I think that you are AMAZING for still putting home cooked meals on the table consistently while pregnant. DH was lucky if I was even AWAKE at dinner time, especially during the first trimester!! He would eat pizza or chips almost daily!
My co-worker said her husband finally confessed that he was tired of eating cheez-its for dinner while she was pregnant, cause she never cooked. So yeah-kudos to you that is awesome!
Mel-
Hang in there and I hope the rest of the week goes smoothly. Hopefully since you guys had time to be away from each other (while you were both at work,) that allowed some cool off/calm down time and you could discuss things prior to the MD appointment. That sometimes helps DH and I. I think agreeing to disagreeing is helpful too. You are both in a stressful and changing time in your lives.
Feel free to vent anytime. I feel bad when I vent about DH on here too, but I also think we also need ways to get out our frusturations and anger out. Women understand women and are more understanding and empathetic. I hope you and DH got it worked out. Here's to a smoother end of the week. Can't wait to hear the exciting news!
Mel - sorry to hear that you are having a tough time. I can't help with the argument other than saying let him cool off and try to talk before your a/s today, even if as PP said, it is just agreeing to disagree and enjoy the moment for now.
As for the tired, you are making all the other pregnant women look bad! (j/k) I was so wiped out when I was in 1st tri we ate pizza or mac and cheese from a box almost every night. I think from the time the tiredness kicked in until DD was born I cooked all of once. I was too busy focusing the energy I did have on my internships and coursework for grad school that something had to give. Your DH may not see how tired you are because you are keeping up with everything you used to do around the house; you may have to ask him step it up around the house form now on - he's going to have to when the baby gets here anyway, because (at least initially) you will need to rest to recover from L&D. After that, unless you are planning on being a SAHM (just b/c it is a different ballgame), you will have to likely find a way to split parenting and house duties so that everyone gets a little sleep at night (I say this as a working mom with a crappy sleeper).
I know your DH is a great guy, mine is too, but sometimes even great guys have a hard day or a hard time adjusting to this new life. I know we had a few bumps along the way as DH adjusted to being a working dad, then adjusted to me being a working mom, and so on. It just takes time and flexibility.
Hope everything works out, GL at the a/s, hope you can get a peek at the goods (if that is what you want!)
oh Mel, I am so sorry you are feeling this way but I do have to tell you I was the EXACT same way! I didnt start showing til almost 22 w, I was never sick and CONSTANLY tired! My husband called me a b!tch on steroids cause my hormones were so wacky! one minute I was happy, next I was crying and next I was p!$$ed off.
Men truly dont understand what we are going thru...so we sat down one night and just talked and I told him what I was dealing with and exactly how I was feeling he started to understand more.
its new to both of you and its 1000000000 times worse than PMS so try and talk it out and it will all be worth it in the end!
hang in there and we`re all here for ya xoxo