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I'm so irritated

And I realize this is totally a First World Problems vent but I need to get it out. I am ready to strangle my cleaning girl. She has been cleaning for me for about 2.5 years with no serious issues. She is young, she is flighty sometimes, and lately she just acts like a total crackhead. About a month ago I had to reschedule b/c one of the kids came down with something and we were home sick. So she's like "ok, I can clean thursday instead, do you mind if I drop by and pick up the money though because I really need to get gas". It really irritated me but I let it slide that one time and let her know I wouldn't do it again. One time I came home and my freezer was wide open...my whole stash of breastmilk was half thawed and I had to use it all up immediately which really ticked me off. And occasionally I can tell she does a rush job and has forgotten to clean some things, but I have let that go because when she does a good job (most of the time) I have no complaints.

Then yesterday I came home after she cleaned and basically it looked like she came in, cleaned for 15 minutes, took her money and left. (she should be there for 2.5-3 hours). The kids rooms were cleaned, two of the bathrooms were half-assed (floors, mirrors and sinks still dirty though, all she did was fold some towels) and that was IT. there were still cheerios on the kitchen floor from the kids breakfast. Oh-AND-she left two empty drinks in my house, lights were on, doors to storage areas in my basement were open (no reason she would need to go in there), my child's nightlight is missing.....its just so weird like she left in a hurry and ran out of there. So i  texted her asking what happened at 6 pm last night. Still no response. I know she is going to come back with some cockamamie story about how she is in the hospital, or her cousin's girlfriends cat had to go the emergency vet or something, it is always some crazy story with her. I am not sure why I am writing this here, I think its obvious what I need to do, but OMG. I am just livid that she thought she could come in and barely touch anything and still take her money then not respond to me.

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Re: I'm so irritated

  • It sounds like you need to find a new cleaning lady. Sorry you have to deal with this crap.
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  • Does she have her own key?  If so, I would be changing the locks pronto! 

    I don't like confrontation, so I probably would have put up with quite a bit of the flighy non-sense you mention.  However, it seems like it is a situation that is deteriorating and if she is involved with drugs you don't want her to have access to your house.

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  • Yeah, I would definitely fire her. I would be worried she's stealing from you since she's opening random cabinets and things.
  • You definitely need to let her go ASAP.  I think it's only going to get worse.   
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  • I am, and maybe I am being overly cautious but I think I should change my lock. I'm not convinced she isn't on drugs. She has also gotten waaaaaay skinnier and more scary looking since I hired her.
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  • I think it's ok to give her the money when you cancelled on her (she probably counts on that money for her budget, and a cancellation can cause hardship in times like these).  However, the rest is totally uncalled for.  If she's doing a crap job then she shouldn't be getting paid for it.  Find someone else who will do a better job and not frustrate you.
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  • imagemrs. remy:
    I am, and maybe I am being overly cautious but I think I should change my lock. I'm not convinced she isn't on drugs. She has also gotten waaaaaay skinnier and more scary looking since I hired her.

    This sounds pretty sketchy. I'm non-confrontational too, but I'd let her go. And change the locks.

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  • Yeah - she needs to go ASAP.  And I think changing the locks would be a good call.  "FWP" or not, you're paying for a service and it's not only not being done well, it's being done in a way that makes you nervous. 

    I admittedly have a pretty low threshold for these kinds of things - but I think it's safe to say this goes way over the line.

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  • Its now been 16 hours since I texted her and 4 hours since I emailed her with no response. And this is a 25 year old who can't pry herself away from her phone. Ugh, I am pissed. I am going to try calling her after lunch but how much do you want to bet she won't answer?
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  • imagemrs. remy:
    Its now been 16 hours since I texted her and 4 hours since I emailed her with no response. And this is a 25 year old who can't pry herself away from her phone. Ugh, I am pissed. I am going to try calling her after lunch but how much do you want to bet she won't answer?

    For what it's worth, I hate confrontation too - but I don't think the conversation needs to be much longer than asking about what happened yesterday, getting a BS answer, and then telling her that it seems like she's preoccupied lately and you think it's best that you find someone else.  I'd ask for your key back but also be ready to have your locks changed immediately.

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  • imageRagdolls:

    imagemrs. remy:
    Its now been 16 hours since I texted her and 4 hours since I emailed her with no response. And this is a 25 year old who can't pry herself away from her phone. Ugh, I am pissed. I am going to try calling her after lunch but how much do you want to bet she won't answer?

    For what it's worth, I hate confrontation too - but I don't think the conversation needs to be much longer than asking about what happened yesterday, getting a BS answer, and then telling her that it seems like she's preoccupied lately and you think it's best that you find someone else.  I'd ask for your key back but also be ready to have your locks changed immediately.

    my thoughts exactly.

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  • Definitely sounds like drugs - especially at that age.

    Change your locks TODAY

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  • Wow. I'm with everyone else - find someone new and change your locks. That's ridiculous and annoying.
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  • When is she due to clean next? Could you just be there, ask for the key back and let her go in person. If she doesn't see it coming I doubt she copied the key (but never can be too sure)
  • I wouldn't even ask for the key back, I would assume that if she has a drug issue she will make a copy before it is returned.  (If she hasn't already.)

    I would also suggest that you may want to put a fraud watch on any of your credit accounts and check and make sure none of your checks are missing.  Check your jewlery box and count any prescription drugs that you have. One of my sister's ex-boyfriends was stealing expensive cuts of meat from the grocery store where he worked because he could swap the expensive steaks and seafood for drugs.

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  • Did you ever hear from her?
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  • That sucks, I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Sounds like she's got to go!
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  • I would love a cleaning lady, but I am so suspicious of them for exactly that reason. When I was in high school, we had a regular cleaning lady who came while my parents were at work and I was at school. My mom's a teacher and came home on a half-day when the lady was supposed to be there cleaning, and she wasn't there. My mom left to run errands, and came home later, and the cleaning lady -- assuming that no one would know because they're usually at work -- had come in for like an hour, taken the money and left before my mom got home again. Obviously, she got let go after that.

    I know there has to be good, honest cleaning people out there, but there is so much temptation that I can imagine there are a lot of dishonest ones out there, too. 

  • imageSarahKate31:
    Did you ever hear from her?

    Yes. She actually called me yesterday before I called her. She apologized profusely and said she had started to clean my house when she realized that her second job of the day needed her to be finished by 1 pm because they were having company over. So she dropped everything and rushed over there. She said she left her phone at home which is why she didn't text me to let me know. As for the doors downstairs being open she said she didn't see my cats as she was leaving and wanted to make sure they weren't locked in somewhere before she left. She said she was going to stop by my house in a few minutes to finish up. She kept apologizing and saying I must think she is really ditzy etc.....

    Against my better judgement I told her to go ahead and finish the cleaning. I really didn't want to fire her over the phone when she was right there at my house with my key. Something still doesn't add up to me. The whole time I am thinking, ok, you left your phone at home, why couldn't you take 30 seconds and jot down a note to let me know what happened? I like the girl and the last thing I want to do is assume someone is on drugs because of her appearance....I know she has health problems (like maybe Type 1 diabetes?) but still the whole thing is making me uncomfortable. I am still 99.9 % sure  I am letting her go but I didnt want to do it yesterday until I can change the lock, etc.

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  • I am glad that you heard from her and that there is a plausible excuse. In the end you have to do what you are most comfortable with. Good luck no matter what you decide!
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  • Wow. What a strange situation. Sorry you're going through that, Remy. I read the whole OP but can't remember, has she had this many problems the whole time? Or just recently been getting worse? I hope she isn't on drugs for her sake and yours!
  • imagejadebaby:
    Wow. What a strange situation. Sorry you're going through that, Remy. I read the whole OP but can't remember, has she had this many problems the whole time? Or just recently been getting worse? I hope she isn't on drugs for her sake and yours!

    No, she's been pretty reliable for about 2.5 years. A tad flighty at times but I was willing to deal with it because she is nice, flexible with scheduling, and affordable. Just getting weirder past 2-3 months.

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  • imagemrs. remy:

    imageSarahKate31:
    Did you ever hear from her?

    Yes. She actually called me yesterday before I called her. She apologized profusely and said she had started to clean my house when she realized that her second job of the day needed her to be finished by 1 pm because they were having company over. So she dropped everything and rushed over there. She said she left her phone at home which is why she didn't text me to let me know. As for the doors downstairs being open she said she didn't see my cats as she was leaving and wanted to make sure they weren't locked in somewhere before she left. She said she was going to stop by my house in a few minutes to finish up. She kept apologizing and saying I must think she is really ditzy etc.....

    Against my better judgement I told her to go ahead and finish the cleaning. I really didn't want to fire her over the phone when she was right there at my house with my key. Something still doesn't add up to me. The whole time I am thinking, ok, you left your phone at home, why couldn't you take 30 seconds and jot down a note to let me know what happened? I like the girl and the last thing I want to do is assume someone is on drugs because of her appearance....I know she has health problems (like maybe Type 1 diabetes?) but still the whole thing is making me uncomfortable. I am still 99.9 % sure  I am letting her go but I didnt want to do it yesterday until I can change the lock, etc.

    Is her name Megan? This sounds like the cleaning lady I had that just stopped showing up one week and wouldn't return my calls.

  • Nope, not Megan. But boy, the more people that keep telling me their stories makes me realize that good cleaning ladies are hard to find Tongue Tied
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  • Where are you located?  My cleaning lady is awesome!
  • Anne Arundel.....probably too far for yours to come!
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  • Wow!  I would be very irritated if I were in your situation.  I hope you don't have any more problems with her!
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