Family Matters
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Sad and annoyed

Last night I was in the kitchen making dinner when DH came up to me and gave me a big hug and said "Why didn't you tell me? I'm so sorry." I was utterly confused and had no clue what he was talking about. He saw on my mom's FB page that my grandma was diagnosed with lung cancer... I was so mad at my mom! How could she not call and tell me first!?! I called my sister and asked if she heard about grandma. She said "Yeah, mom called me yesterday and told me. She didn't tell you?" And obviously I said "No, she didn't tell me and I'm really upset about it!" My sis said mom said she was going to call me, but I guess she forgot.

I posted a status on my FB saying "I just found out my Gma was diagnosed with lung cancer. Please hkeep her in your prayers!" And then 10 minutes later my mom commented on it with "did you get my text?" I said, no, i didn't get one from you. So when I get into work today she emails me saying that she just got a new phone and lost my number and that's why she didn't test or call. She could have called DH, she could have emailed me! Or told my sister to call me at the very least!

Anyway, I just needed to vent. We aren't sure about what kind of cancer it is.. Just a spot on her lung, but apparently it's kind of a big spot. One of my aunts is asking my Gma to move to AL to live with her (we are in FL). My gpa died of this type of cancer before I was born. I feel bad that my mom has to go through it again, but I am so mad that she didn't call me!

Re: Sad and annoyed

  • I hate facebook for this reason, not that your mom doesn't have some fault, but I just don't think people are entirely aware of the dangers of spreading news like that

     

  • you should've called your mom and addressed your annoyace with her directly, not with your sister.

    unless she makes it a habit of leaving you out of big news i'd let this one go. her mom has cancer. she doesn't need you piling on a guilt trip about why she didn't call you the second she hung up with your sister. she's got bigger issues on her plate right now. cut her some slack.  i mean sure she should've told you but it's water under the bridge at this point.

    Friday, December 28 2012. The day I had emergency appendix surgery in Mexico and quit smoking. Proof that everything has a good side!! DH and I are happily child-free!! No due date or toddler tickers here!! my read shelf:
    Alison's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf) 
  • imagealithebride:

    you should've called your mom and addressed your annoyace with her directly, not with your sister.

    unless she makes it a habit of leaving you out of big news i'd let this one go. her mom has cancer. she doesn't need you piling on a guilt trip about why she didn't call you the second she hung up with your sister. she's got bigger issues on her plate right now. cut her some slack.  i mean sure she should've told you but it's water under the bridge at this point.

    I understand what you're saying. Since you brought it up, my entire family left DH and I out when they all planned a trip to see gma a few months ago.. No one told us and then my gma got mad that we didn't come. I put up a post about it, but I'm over it.

    I haven't said anything to my mom about not telling me. Because I know she has a lot going on.. on top of her mom having lung cancer, she could possibly be losing her job in the next 6 months, and she just moved. I haven't said anything to her about it because I don't want to make her feel bad. But DH and my older sister both think I should confront her. I was just posting here to vent because I am in a tough spot. :(

  • I am so so sorry you and your family have to go through this. Even if it turns out to be nothing...it's the waiting around that starts the whole process. But I think it's better to push this annoyance aside and just be there for each other in case the worst happens
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • imagelittlemisswitness:
    imagealithebride:

    you should've called your mom and addressed your annoyace with her directly, not with your sister.

    unless she makes it a habit of leaving you out of big news i'd let this one go. her mom has cancer. she doesn't need you piling on a guilt trip about why she didn't call you the second she hung up with your sister. she's got bigger issues on her plate right now. cut her some slack.  i mean sure she should've told you but it's water under the bridge at this point.

    I understand what you're saying. Since you brought it up, my entire family left DH and I out when they all planned a trip to see gma a few months ago.. No one told us and then my gma got mad that we didn't come. I put up a post about it, but I'm over it.

    I haven't said anything to my mom about not telling me. Because I know she has a lot going on.. on top of her mom having lung cancer, she could possibly be losing her job in the next 6 months, and she just moved. I haven't said anything to her about it because I don't want to make her feel bad. But DH and my older sister both think I should confront her. I was just posting here to vent because I am in a tough spot. :(

    I remember that post about the trip. they didnt invite you-nothing you can do. your grandma was off base to be mad that you didnt go.

    But in your first post you said that you did talk to her about it already-and that was when she told you that she lost your # or something. there's nothing to confront about. from this point forward i suggest you keep in closer touch with your grandma yourself perhaps. Especially now that she's sick. Make it a point to go and visit her yourself and call her yourself. You can't control what your mom does, only what you do.

    I hope that she is ok :(

    Friday, December 28 2012. The day I had emergency appendix surgery in Mexico and quit smoking. Proof that everything has a good side!! DH and I are happily child-free!! No due date or toddler tickers here!! my read shelf:
    Alison's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf) 
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