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Can I vent for a bit?
I don't want to offend anyone - so I hope no one takes this the wrong way. I just want to vent.
I just defriended someone on facebook - that I really haven't talked to lately, so oh well. Reason being - she's 39 weeks pregnant - and every day there's a new complaint about her pregnancy.
She lost a baby around 20 weeks last year. All I can think about the complaints I've read since she announced at 12 weeks was - be grateful! For one, be grateful for every week you and the baby are okay. (I would think she would understand that after such a sad loss). For two, we have been trying for 8 months. I would gladly take the heart burn, back aches, and false labor that make you want your pregnancy to end.
I realize she's at the end of her pregnancy - but the negative comments started way to early. It's not the "I can't wait to meet xxx" which would be different, it's "I hate being pregnant, I'm over it."
I told DH that he can't let me complain about throwing up and all the other lovely things that accompany a pregnancy, haha. Okay - maybe I will to him, but will not put it out there for the world to see. I realize we haven't even been trying that long, so I really don't have the right to talk. But I don't want to take my (hopefully soon) pregnancy for granted - because I'm sure there are plenty of people out there that would give anything to have a baby.
Ok. Rant over. Thanks.
TTC since March 2012
BFP 3/14/13!!!
U/S 4/15: Identical twins!
Lost my angel boys at 10.5 weeks
My Chart***My TTC blog
Re: Can I vent for a bit?
Don't feel bad. I can't handle ANYBODY complaining that much. Nobody wants to read that. There is a finesse to Facebook status updates and some people don't get it (Hello, girl I'm friends with who once posted 32 times in 24 hours, usually about inane things nobody knew what she was talking about). Plus, I totally agree about her complaining being especially annoying after she had lost her earlier pregnancy. Some people have a very short hindsight.
Anyway, I hope it gets better for you, and you guys get pregnant soon!
Don't feel bad at all. I have blocked plenty of people I really like but get annoyed by their stupid posts. I get where your coming from on the pregnancy status update home front. Just don't do it. Positive updates are great but even then moderation is needed. I have never been annoyed once by anyone who has been pregnant on Facebook. But then again no matter what happened, even late term miscarriages, they relised how blessed they were.
Good luck and fingers crossed on you getting knocked up quick!
I totally get you. Especially with trying, it's hard to listen to other women complaining about having something I want so badly. I know that I should have some compassion since I've never been pregnant and don't know how bad it can be, but it's hard to do.
I've only got one FB friend that irritates me with this kind of thing, and I've contemplated blocking her statuses several time. With her, it's not complaining so much as over-sharing. When she got engaged, she posted three or four times a day about her wedding. Because of her, I scarcely posted anything about my wedding when I got engaged because I was afraid of annoying people the way she did me. Then, when she got pregnant, it was the same thing. Three or four post (at least) a day about her pregnancy. And the pattern has continued now that her baby is here with multiple posts a day about her child. I get that these are exciting life moments, but nobody wants to hear every little single detail of everything. Do I care that you are up at 3 am breastfeeding? No. Just as you wouldn't care if I was.
The only good thing I have to say about it is that it'll keep me from doing the same thing and annoying all my FB friends.
Oversharing on Facebook is super annoying.
That being said, I need to play devils advocate. First, If she had a loss at 20 weeks, it is probable that she had to deliver a stillborn child. At 20 weeks, a lot of stuff has already happened. You've felt your baby kick and breathe at that point. After losing a child at that stage, I can't imagine a subsequent pregnancy to be a cakewalk. Baby may be just fine, but I know would personally be paranoid as all get out.
To say that she's taking her pregnancy for granted, in my opinion, a bit of a reach. Being pregnant sucks at times. Delivery is scary as hell.
Obviously if you deleted her then y'all weren't great friends to begin with so it's not really a big deal.
To the first bolded part -- by what ky says, it doesn't sound like she's paranoid. Just annoyed. Which brings me to my second point, however...
To the second bolded part -- I'd have to agree. You don't really know how she feels. Some people just really hate being pregnant. You are probably just more sensitive to it because you are trying (and you know that I completely understand that). It sucks when people say things like that when you can't have the same experience, but it doesn't really demonstrate anything that she feels for her baby. Just how she feels about her body.
But if defriending her is good for your own mental health, then good for you. I defriend people who make me unnaturally upset, even if it's completely irrational on my part. (Or just block them.)
TTC #1 since 1/12
BFP 12/13/12 * EDD 08/24/2013 * MMC CONFIRMED 1/23/13
TTGP Blog - A Good Read!
TTC since March 2012
BFP 3/14/13!!!
U/S 4/15: Identical twins!
Lost my angel boys at 10.5 weeks
My Chart***My TTC blog
Having suffered a miscarriage in May at just 6 wks and knowing how incredibly painful, both mentally & physically, it was I *CAN NOT* imagine how horrifying it must've been to have miscarried at 20 weeks. Really and truly, my heart breaks for your "friend". With that being said, I absolutely do not understand how she could be complaining so openly about being pregnant like that. I mean, don't get me wrong, I know how exhausting it was at just 6 wks so I can't imagine how uncomfortable she must be at 39 weeks, but I'm not sure that I would be on Facebook complaining about how much I hate being pregnant after suffering a miscarriage that late...and I'm *TOTALLY* one of those annoying people who posts everything! Especially Instagrams of my cats...it's ridick.
Ok, so as for TTC, I know how hard it is to want to be pregnant so badly that every ounce of your being just aches with a motherly instinct and just seeing a baby brings tears to your eyes b/c you want it so badly and it just isn't happening yet. I know how hard that can be, and I know how much of a struggle it is to tell yourself that it didn't happen this month b/c everything happens for a reason, etc.etc. etc...but just know that you aren't alone! As mentioned above, I have gotten pg before so I know it can happen...it just hasn't happened again yet! Also, I'm not sure if you are temping and all of that other technical stuff that goes in to it, but if that's not something you are doing yet can I suggest one thing? I downloaded an app on my phone that keeps track of everything for you. You plug in the date of your last period and then plug in the day that it ended and it will calculate your likely cycle for you. After just one month, the app is absolutely spot on and I know exactly what day of the month I'm going to start. It also tells you what days you are "fertile" during the month and the exact date of your ovulation based on your cycle. Right now I'm using to know when I'm ovulating so we can use protection b/c I'm not on BC and we don't have health insurance at the moment. Just letting you know if case you want to try it out and see how it works for you! Sending T & Ps your way! XOXO
I don't think you are bitter or heartless. I understand where you are coming from. No worries. It's good to vent here. I totally stand by what I said. If it comes to a point where removing someone from your life -- even if it is just on FB -- is better for you mentally/ emotionally, then I think that's a very healthy choice.
TTC #1 since 1/12
BFP 12/13/12 * EDD 08/24/2013 * MMC CONFIRMED 1/23/13
TTGP Blog - A Good Read!
I think it's okay to be upset if she is just overly posting about every little thing. I am very conscious of my friends who have had difficulty TTC and I actually OVER think everything I post about this pregnancy. Usually, like last night, it's being ticked at a restaurant for not having what I wanted (THREE Pizza Huts before I could order a pizza AND breadsticks?!).
I can't begin to imagine what it must have been like to lose a child at any point, let alone 20 weeks. That was only last week for me. I work with a girl who is almost full term. She is very uncomfortable and complains in person often, but not in an annoying way. I think if she did the same thing on FB, it would be annoying, but in person it's not. Maybe FB changes the tone.
Honest question here -- does it bother you to see happy posts about pregnancy? Is it just the whining posts that bother you? I'm curious about this when I over think my postings.
I'm just like Ky - we're trying to get pregnant right now. Now, granted, it's only been since June, but still. It doesn't bother me about those posts/pictures/etc, as much as it make me jealous/want to get pregnant even worse. If that makes any since. I think the complaining posts and the happy posts are all the same - that's all the stages of pregnancy/having kids/etc. Yes, there can be an extreme though. I'm happy for the people that I know that have kids/are pregnant, etc and I don't mind reading their posts and seeing their pictures.
But if I'm friends with you on facebook, that means I don't mind seeing your posts/want to see your posts and see what's going on in your life. At one point, I went through my friends list and got rid of everyone that I didn't speak to on a semi-regular basis, had no idea who the were (thanks to the rapid friending and friend requests at the beginning of college), etc.
TTC since June 2012
No, the happy posts don't bother me... Even negative ones don't bother me! (So don't stress about your posts!
) I understand that pregnancy is not easy, and you will be frustrated at times. I love seeing pics, and I am very happy for people when they announce their pregnancy. Now, I'm not gonna lie.. some weeks it seems like everyone is announcing they are pregnant, I may be a little sad, but I still congratulate them and it's not like I get upset with them.
It was just all the negative posts from that one person... daily (sometimes multiple times a day) negative posts.
TTC since March 2012
BFP 3/14/13!!!
U/S 4/15: Identical twins!
Lost my angel boys at 10.5 weeks
My Chart***My TTC blog