Relationships
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Hoarders
I have a big problem with my boyfriends family...His great-grandma, grandma, and mother are all terrible hoarders. And I feel like they are spilling this over onto me! Anytime we go over to his parents house his mom is constantly wanting to give me something. Big, little, old, new...Anything..And the tough thing is I am way to nice to say no! How to I break this cycle of constantly having things pushed on me when I go over there?! And will I have to worry about my future husband being the same way?! Ahh.
Re: Hoarders
My mother is the same way..my father and mother both could be on that hoarders show, its ridiculous how bad it has become. My mother tries to get me to take things too, I gladly accept them, and if I do not like them I send them off to the thrift store. I know with my mom she has an easier time giving things away if she thinks they will be used by loved ones. So you could nicely accept them, and maybe end up using some things and some things you could send on their way to someone who would need them?
I hope you are dealing okay with your family, because I really am having a tough time with mine with this disease.
If you don't want to take them, just say no. Remember - being polite does not mean being a pushover. Or, you could always take them and then either donate or dispose of them.
As for your BF, does he have hoarding tendiencies now? Is he a clutterbug or messy? If not, I'd say you're probably in the clear. If so, you'll want to either get him in to therapy BEFORE MARRIAGE to address his issue, or decide to find someone else to spend the rest of your life with.
Nestie Bestie with the lovely RockABye
My mom should be on the show too. I was going through a room, that is piled to the ceiling almost, for old furniture from my childhood to sell at a fundraiser. She left work, took 2 valiums, and still couldn't calm down because I was going through things and possibly getting rid of things that she wanted to keep. For no good reason. If only she would give me things that I could filter to somewhere else. She won't part with anything, to anybody.
I would also just say that you wouldn't have use for it, personally. Or as mentioned above, transfer to someone else that could use it.
chrisandsarahwedding- Have they ever seen the show? My mom was ready to clean out everything after seeing one of our neighbors and her friends on the show. She's terrified I will call them to come clean out her house for her and that she'll be embarrassed on TV. We've sort of cleaned stuff out. This summer is the big one with a roll off dumpster and several days off work to do it.
My mother-in-law does this to me. I try to be kind. If it is clearly something I would not use I say it would be better to give that to someone else I could not do it justice. If I feel obligated to take it I donate it to a charity or throw it in the trash when I get home. If my MIL asks me about it I tell her I was able to give it to someone who really appreciated it. Most of the time she never asks. She can't remember what she gave me. So you will find true hoarders don't keep track of that stuff.
As for the new hubby tell him you don't need the clutter and it makes you feel bad having it around but you are being nice as to not hurt his families feelings.
My husband is not a hoarder and his aunt, mother and sister's are. He likes being able to find his stuff. so don't stress about things that might not be. Keep an eye on what comes into your house and purge a lot if you need to.