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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Anyone out there waiting to have kids?
So I guess I am looking for some kind of reassurance, or at least opinions of others who waited to have children.
My hubby and I have been married a little over 2 years, and I just turned 30. The majority of my friends have kids, or are pregnant with their first or second child. While DH and I are very happy with our life right now, I think the milestone bday got to me a little bit. I am worried that I might be waiting too long to have kids. I'm just wondering when everyone else started? My main reason for waiting is that I want to be further along and more secure in my career-something that will take another 3 years.
Does 33 seem late to start with my first child? Any opinions?
Thanks in advance!
Re: Anyone out there waiting to have kids?
I was 34 when I had my first and 37 when I had my second (and last). I will say for sure that having kids changes your marriage and (as much as I love my kids) I miss the old days of just my husband and myself. I understand that it may seem as if you & your DH are going against the grain compared to all your friends, but you sound like you are doing what is best for you.
One of my best friends just had her 1st child at 41 and her DH is 43 (I think). She was like you - all their friends had kids except them it seemed. But they now have a ton of hand me downs and good advice!
If you are worried you may have trouble TTC, you should ask your gyn to run some standard blood work to see if you are in the norms. You very well may have nothing to worry about, or you may have something that is easily fixed if you are 30 or 38.
Good luck to you!
I got married at 31 and had my oldest 16 months later (32). In a way, I wish I had waited longer and had more "newlywed" time, but we kind of played "let's see what happens" game. I had #2 at almost 36 and now, here I am with surprise #3 - and will have this baby at 38.
I will say that I feel old right now - but I know it's because I''m tired. LOL
While you'l never have enough money, if you want to continue to work, make sure you know the cost of childcare. It can be staggering!
But, in the end, only you know when it's right for you. After we had #2, we went back and forth for about a year on whether or not we were done. When I finally accepted that we were (for financial reasons, mainly), I ended up getting pregnant (sounds so immature of us, but I went through a significant weight loss and my hormones were out of whack and our timing was off).
I'm just starting to accept that it is what it is - that it's not the end of the world and it is indeed a belssing. We'll make it work somehow!
Good luck in your decision!
My three sons!
i will be 33 in exactly two months. We don't have any kids and are not 100% sure that we ever will. i think it is a very, very personal decision and you should not compare where your friends are with kids/life. the grass always seems to be greener, right?
we were married at age 27 and i know we get a lot of side eyes from certain individuals in our lives because of our child free lifestyle. Our generation is getting established/schooled and married later in life than our parents (and especially our grandparents) did. My poor grandma says a rosary for me every day that Mike and I will get pregnant (even though I have told her 100 times that we are not trying to get pg, LOL!)
i have a number of close friends that are child free and will most likely stay that way. I have even more friends with one or 2 or 3 kids. i enjoy kids a lot, love visiting with my friends' kids and absolutely adore and dote on my niece. At this point in my life, I more enjoy handing them back to their parents and planning 4 or 5 or 6 vacations a year and basically doing whatever we want. we have no major responsibilities besides our mortgage payment and our 2 dogs. my H is my best friend and I love just hanging out with him. I am not really ready for any of that to change, to be honest.
So we will see what the next few years brings us. My biological clock isn't ticking too loudly at all at this point. right now we are happy as can be being a pair of DINKs.
life is short. do what makes you happy. good luck
I agree with balbacm, totally personal decision. I am 37, married 9 years, no kids, 2 dogs. We have thought about kids, but the timing never seemed right. We are happy. Yeah people make comments, but DH is great at deflection.
You need to make the decisions that are right for the two of you now, not the ones everyone else thinks you should. Good luck!
We were married 6 years before Logan came along and I was fine with that. We always said we'd wait until the timing felt right and if it never did we wouldn't have kids. One day it was like a switch flipped and we were ready. It's totally and completely up to you - don't worry about what your friends are doing.
Hi there. In my opinion there's no "right" answer to this question. I think everyone needs to do what's best for them. My H and I were married nearly 8 years before we had our son. We started trying after being married for sbout 6 years and ran into a few problems getting and staying pregnant. I was 33 (I just turned 34) when my son was born.
I wouldn't worry about what your peers are doing. Make the decision that is best for your family.
Best wishes!
Ditto the others - it's just overwhelming and even more confusing if you start comparing your decisions with others or start listening to people who tell you what they think you should be doing.
I was 34 with #1 and 36 with #2. I'll be 38 in a couple weeks and we hope to have #3, but aren't currently trying. That means I'll be 39 or maybe even 40 when #3 arrives. A lot of people aren't cool with that, but DH and I are, so that's all that really matters.
I got married at 31 and had my DD at 34. We were definitely one of the last of our friends to have children. I am very happy we had those 3 years of "just us" before having our daughter.
You have to do what is right for you.
I had my first at 27. DH was 33. DH and I were together 6 yrs. before he was born.(married 1 but lived together for the 5 before that) We had a house and decent jobs. We knew we wanted kids and we decided we would be married a year then try. We got Pregnant the first month possible.
DS is now 4. we always said we wanted at least 2 but I needed time and we got into a groove and now here we are. He is 1 of 2 only children in his class of 13 and most of them are 1 or 3 or 4/one on the way. Several people have actually commented surprisinly "oh. he is your only?!..."
Although I am not 100% sold and still sometimes think of things that are less than apealing ( lack of sleep and MORE relationship and personal stress) I think I want another- more so for DS sake for the future to have a sibling. I am now 31 and DH is 37... That being said- we are not actually trying or made the decision to do so.
I have several friends that are "older" with kids or just starting with kids. One couple she is actually older than her DH by 9 yrs. She is 41. Her oldest is 6.5 the other just turned 5.
Married, September 23, 2006