Relationships
l+charles12
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
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Re: ...
You can't fix this, only she can fix it. She is jealous and has told you this. She is acting like an a$$ and if I was you I'd let this friendship go. In a year or two she may come around or have a different set of circumstances or grow up, then you might be able to have a friendship again.
Do yourself a favor: Ditch this "friend."
Sounds like you and she are now at odds. Anybody that you constantly fight with is not a friend at all --- there's nothing here to lose; it's already gone.
This happens. Not to worry. GL>
For her to tell you she is jealous might be her way of asking for a letting help. did you ask her what it was she is jealous over? instead of going out together why dont you invite her over for dinner one evening when your husband is out and talk openly about the issues she has. it sounds like you have been friends for a long time and if things have changed for you quite a lot she might feel she is losing her safe haven.
talk to her before u lose what was once a good friendship
good luck
OMG. I just teared up reading your post because I just cried yesterday over my best friend. (we have been best friends since pre-school) She warned me that things would be different once I got married and they sure are, but on her part. She doesn't call or return my texts, she never wants to go out with me anymore and it hurts so bad.
Enough of me, sorry. I understand your DH not liking her as much anymore because my DH hates to see me hurting and if she is causing me pain, then he says just let her be, so I think that is why your DH doesn't care for her as much.
I say, just let her be. It will be hard if that's your best friend because I am hurting right now over mine, but you can't make her change. I understand that you don't want to loose her, but I think she is going through some things right now and you can't do anything about it. You can talk to her and see if you two can come to a mends, but if she is not willing, then just move on with your life.
PS-Since she clearly told you that she is jealous, you know what the deal is. Maybe try and do other things together besides bar hopping.
Good luck!
TTC since September 2012
YOu can't control her being jealous, and on that front... that's ALL her. Not you.
But I want to probe this "now that your'e married". WHen you were dating/engaged to your DH, did you go out? If so, what suddenly changed when you got married?
I still go out to bars. Usually w/ DH, but sometimes w/ just girlfriends. I'm not going to pick up guys, and granted, if my friends were doing that - I'd have no interest in going.
But just the basic concept of going out to a bar- why does being married mean you don't do that, and why is it about being MARRIED? WHy did you do it while dating your DH?
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
This. Usually people stop bar hopping because they find it stupid or they just aren't interested. Not because they get married. So did you stop going out because YOU wanted to/because your husband wanted you to/because it is unbecoming of a married person? Because the last two reasons are bullsh*t. The only reasons someone should ever stop is because they truly have no interest.
On the real reason why you posted. Your friend doesn't sound like a friend
The transition from a single friend to a married one is hard on any one. I would give this friend some space until she matures enough to be able to accept her newly married friend.
I had a friend that got married right out of high school, I didn't know how to be her friend at that time (add moving a few hours away to the mix). But now I feel like if I lived closer we could be great friends. I have matured and now know how to act around married couples.