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A gift I don't want...
Last week MIL went to TN to visit DH's grandaddy. When she got back she said "He got you a really beautiful coat! Come by the hosue and pick it up whenever." I was taken aback because I wasn't expecting anything from him. There are no events coming up that warrant gift-giving. But I was very excited nonetheless. I went and picked it up and MIL had it wrapped up in a grocery bag. SIL was over there, and since grandaddy didn't get her anything, MIL and I didn't want her feelings to get hurt. MIL said if I didn't like it, she would take it off my hands because it's soooo nice. I took the jacket home and set it on the couch and didn't even open it for 3 days. DH has been very sick with strep and I have been super crazy at work, so I just really didn't think about it.
MIL calls DH last night, asking if I called grandaddy to thank him for the beautiful jacket. Obviously I hadn't, because I haven't even seen it yet! So I opened it up and tried it on. First of all- it's way too big. Secondly- it's not a jacket, it's one of those puffy vest things. Thirdly- We live in FL, so I doubt it will ever get cold enough for me to even wear it. And last of all, it's lined with fur. Like, real fur. Not imitation fur- but real fur. I am very anti fur and leather. I just don't like wearing it. DH saw it and said, "It's... very... uh.. nice. Do you like it?" I explained to him that I would wear it (I can get over it being a puffy vest that is two sizes too big) but that I am uncomfortable wearing real fur.
So, what would you do? DH said it could be the "fruitcake in the attic," meaning, just a thing we keep because we feel obligated. He wants me to call grandaddy and thank him and tell him I really like it. I don't want MIL to get mad if she never sees me wear it.. Which, I feel like she would.
Re: A gift I don't want...
Can't you call her and say, "This is great but this is Florida and I can't use it, I'd also like to exchange it for something else"?
If you don't care for it and your MIL does, and she's the one who went to the trouble to ferry it back, why not let her have it?
Call grandaddy and express thanks but explain that it doesn't fit and is too warm for FL.
Call up granddad and thank him for it, blah blah blah.
Then call your MIL, tell her you love it, but it's too big. Does she want it afterall?
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Baby Boy loved for 15 weeks, 5/31/11
Baby Girl loved for 16.5 weeks. 3/1/12
This...if she had said something like that to you in the first place my guess is she had already guessed it wasn't quite your style. Call and say thanks, and then pass it back to MIL or regift it someone else who might appreciate it more.
My Blog:Through My Eyes
Agreed. You MUST thank the grandfather and do so sincerely. Whether or not the "thing" was something you wanted or not, it was indeed kind of him to think of you and want to please you. Surely you are genuinely thankful for the gesture, if not the item. And, perhaps this is just me, I'd send a handwritten thank-you, in addition to a phone call.
Then, if you think it will go over well, you should repeat to her how lovely the gift is and how very much you wanted to keep it, but as it is too large, you want to see it have a good home. If you think she will take it the wrong way, I'd hold onto it for bit and then either give to a friend who will cherish it or donate it to Goodwill.
You don't like it and it's too big. Why aren't you giving it to your MIL? Didn't she say she liked it and would want it?
"Thanks for thinking of me, but it doesn't fit" seems like a perfectly nice response to a gift.
I just posted something like this elsewhere...
I'd say thank you.
Seriously, why are people so uppity?I get so annoyed when people whine about not getting EXACTLY what they want. Be thankful.DH is right. Just stick it in a closet for now. :P