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Letting sleeping dogs lie- Vent
So apparently my ILs are not satisfied letting the dogs lie....
J came home from work yesterday. He and FIL work at the same company. They had had a talk at some point during the day about the ILs moving. Apparently they think that everyone is against them, which they are except for J. He has completely stayed out of it. They claim that everyone is taking the younger BILs side. They also claim that they have tried to talk to BIL numerous times, and he is just defensive and angry.
I have felt a little defensive last night when J brought it up, because I was under the impression, as was BIL, that they have given up on moving until he was out of high school. He asked me what I knew, and since I haven't talked to BIL in a few weeks because I thought the whole thing was put on hold. When I talked to BIL after the conversation with J, he said that they only talked to him TWICE! Originally to tell him they were thinking about it, and again about 3 weeks later, to tell him that they were waiting. I don't consider this numerous times.
I know that BIL is very against it, but it is ultimately his parents' decision. However, the fact that they are blatantly hiding things from him still annoys me, especially since this is apparently back on the table. Just everything that came out of Js mouth from his dad is not the same story at all that I hear from BIL.
So the whole point is, now I have to tell them how I feel, even though Js sage wise aunt told me not to get involved. But if I don't, there is apparently going to be a family meeting, which will just be a disaster. There will just be some very upset people there, especially since we have some people that will have a breakdown during the meeting. I am just really angry that I need to step in now and be the family councilor. Any advice anyone?
Sorry for the rant!
Re: Letting sleeping dogs lie- Vent
I agree with J's aunt that you should not get involved. I know you are trying to help but your in-laws but it might end up back firing on you. They may end up mad that you are so against their move.
Anyhow, don't they need to find a house and sell theirs? This process could take years.
Married the love of my life on 1-21-12. Our princess arrived on 5-28-13.
Yepp. It really could take years.
I think I would just out of it. They're adults and are able to make whatever decision they feel is best. I think getting into the middle of it would just ad un necessary drama for you.
All I can say is ditto everyone else on staying out of it. I can understand wanting to avoid a family meeting. If they ask for your opinion, you could just politely state that you don't want to get in the middle of it. If that doesn't work, then of course you at least tried to stay out of it.
I try to stay out of my in-laws' drama. It can be really hard. DH tried to tell me last night that it's good that I stay out of it since it doesn't really affect me. He wasn't trying to be an a$$ when he said it. I just love how he thinks that because I'm not blood related, these things don't affect me. -- So yeah, I had to disagree with him about it affecting me. Living in the same city and seeing his family as often as I do, it does affect me. There is current drama going on which is revolving around my shower. I'm trying to stay out of it, but if anything, it's just getting worse. Honestly after last night, I don't even want to have a shower any more. I will because my sister is putting a lot of work into it. And I feel like I need to just bite my tongue since I did request that she have it where I live. One more year and we can move away from all this drama. *** sorry to hi-jack your vent.
I guess my only advice is that you should try to stay out of it, but there might be a point where you need to or have to step in. Hopefully not, but if so, then just try to do it as delicately as possible.
Well, surprisingly FIL was actually very happy to hear my opinions in the email. I am personally keeping my feeling out of it, but i think that I actually may have helped them out. FIL had no idea how BIL felt, and he just emailed me again thanking me for my insights. I feel so much better actually.
I am going to stay out of it personally, but I will keep BIL informed of what is going on.